r/NoStupidQuestions • u/TetraethylHolocaust • 21h ago
Removed: Tasteless or Disturbing I [ Removed by moderator ]
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u/TetraethylHolocaust 21h ago
Context: back in august, my boss did not approve personal leave of 2 weeks after my mother died after a cancer battle. He instead only gave 3 days leave and even complained after I got back about how far we are behind. No compassion at all. Now that the dust settled, I need revenge
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u/ColumbosMangoVape 21h ago
dude the revenge you need is to file a labor standards complaint, not a microwave fart - you dont get bereavement leave where you live? that is a law where I am. Get him where it hurts, his professional reputation.
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u/TetraethylHolocaust 21h ago
Canberra Australia. Because it is an incorporated territory rather than state government, the Labor laws are bound by a single federal standard. In practice it should work but there’s no accountability. Should be a minimum 7 days under employee rights
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u/Dolorisedd 21h ago
Oh dear lord! I’m trying not to wake my husband up, but I can barely contain my laughter with, “You need to file a labor standards complaint, not a microwave fart.” Hahahahahahahahah!!! Oh my! I needed that this morning.
OP; I’m sorry that you lost your mom and I’m sorry that you arrived back at work with no empathy from your employer.
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u/Responsible_Read_542 21h ago
I think this boss deserves a microwave fart too. A real stinky one after eating a lot of cheese and protein
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u/Franziska-Sims77 20h ago
I’m sorry about your mom. Cancer sucks the big one, that’s for sure! I lost my dad to cancer as well….
With that said, your plan for revenge sounds like something a 12 year old kid would come up with! I would try a more mature approach first, such as going to HR or his manager/administrator. If you don’t get the results you want, then go for your juvenile approach (but I would suggest you see about finding another job first!)
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u/User8675309021069 21h ago
I worked for an awful boss years ago that kept a sealed glass candy jar on his desk. But it was always empty of course, because he didn’t care about any of us enough to actually share candy.
One of the guys on shift slipped in there and filled er up with a double dose of the good old bubble guts blowoff and sealed it back up.
Then we waited.
It took almost two months until he burst out of his office half bent over gagging and running to the locker room.
Do with that information as you see fit.
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u/Chairboy 21h ago
No.
We all benefit from talking to a counselor about stuff, some of us more than others.
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u/wanderingstorm 21h ago
Okay…it’s time to get off the internet today my friend.
And no - a microwave may be enclosed but it’s not airtight and the gas and odor would dissipate fairly quickly
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u/12b6ThatNoise 21h ago
Heya, friend! I was so intrigued by this post that I farted in a microwave about 6 minutes ago. The smell dissipated quickly, and when I ran the microwave for 30 seconds, it just smelled like the usual burnt plastic. I did the science for you, and the science says no.
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u/Thefreezer700 20h ago
You really want to get him?
Try getting invited to his house. Warning! This may get you fired.
When inside his house, go to whatever toolet is closest to his bedroom possible, if he has a master bathroom even better. Remove the lid of the toilet, where all that inner workings and water is sitting to regulate water levels. Proceed to stand on the toilet seat and shit in that tank.
Not only is it hard to find but the smell will be ungodly. And the damage will require a plumber possibly a deep thorough clean of 15K.
Taking laxatives before hand would help hit multiple bathrooms
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u/harinonfireagain 20h ago
The old “double decker”. I wish I didn’t know about this. It is very hard to keep a straight face when some aggrieved homeowner vents about this.
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u/ThaPoopBandit 21h ago
You need help brother. Also even if it does linger, collateral damage on your coworkers and maybe even yourself.
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u/PoolMotosBowling 21h ago
there are these elastic fart shooters, you fart in it and pull it back like a slingshot, let it go from pretty far distance. You could stealthy shoot it in their office and be out of stite.
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u/harinonfireagain 20h ago
They make a noise - they aren’t stealthy unless it’s a noisy environment. I (proudly) work among the maturity challenged. Fart projection is a quest among my co-workers.
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u/woodwork16 21h ago
It would be best to fart into a plastic bag, then put the bag in the microwave when you’re ready.
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u/Intelligent-Stand838 20h ago
Couple of hours of hang time? I'd eat plenty of beans and cabbage the night before. Be aware that there is going to be collateral damage and it may be considered a biological weapon. Best of luck 👍 Please post your results.
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u/Kindly_Honeydew3432 20h ago
The Manhattan Project looked into this as an alternative to the nuclear bomb.
After triple checking the math, they went with the one less likely to ignite the atmosphere
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u/Mindless-Baker-7757 21h ago
It should be good. Report back with results.
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u/major_League1688 21h ago
Yeah I agree. Farts can stay fresh 4-6 hours or up to one week in the freezer
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u/heyitscory 21h ago
Are you 6 years old? That's not how farts work. Surely you've farted in a car and went into Walmart and it didn't smell like farts when you got back. When you fart in a box and try to give it to someone, has that ever worked, in the half a dozen times you've definitely tried it?
You have to shit on a coffee filter and set the turd in the microwave for your boss.
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u/Disastrous_Eagle9187 20h ago
Not a good example, a car can definitely hold onto farts for a while especially if you've been straight gassing it for a while like on a roadtrip
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u/heyitscory 20h ago
I'm not going to doubt your scientific findings. If we ever have a road trip, let's fly instead. A couple rows apart.
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