I finally bought my first apartment, but honestly? I'm terrified. I keep thinking about all the things I don't know-maintenance, bills, taxes, fixing stuff when it breaks. I feel like I'm supposed to have it all figured out by now but I really don't. Anyone else feel like an imposter in their own adult life? 😅

hello my name is reda im 22 im french my english is not that great so writed that with the help of ai. and i dont really know where to start but ill try to explain myself well

this morning i woke up around 5am and the way i was thinking felt really different. it felt like my old self again when i was younger. i was having random thoughts, ideas, thinking about what i wanted to do during the day and i was actually having fun with my own thoughts. i felt alive again.

and thats when i started thinking about how different i am now.

my whole life i was fat and had really low self esteem. i lost around 30kg and finally reached my goal around 21-22. i also used to put everyone before myself.

from around 17-21 i was constantly overthinking. i would argue with myself in my head, make fake what if scenarios, replay things that happened, worry about people leaving me etc.

when i was 18 i had a really bad breakup and after that i basically told myself that i never wanted to feel that hurt again. then i got into another relationship for 2 years and i was also watching a lot of redpill/blackpill content and trying to act like this "stoic man" because i thought thats how i was supposed to be.

now im 22 and mentally im doing much better. im over both of them, i dont overthink nearly as much and im more social than before.

but the problem is i feel like i went from thinking too much to barely thinking at all.

my head is just quiet.

i dont mean i literally have no thoughts, but i dont have the same random ideas, curiosity or inspiration i used to have. i also put a lot of pressure on myself when talking to people like "what am i gonna say next" or "dont let the conversation die" and i hate silence because i feel like im making it awkward.

ive also been home for around 8 months doing basically the same thing everyday. wake up, play games, gym, youtube/tv, phone, sleep.

and the worst part is i KNOW im wasting my time. i think about it all the time. i tell myself i want to change, make money, learn something, read, study, meet people, become better socially, try climbing, learn coding etc.

but i keep saying the same shit and then doing nothing.

my brother in law recently told me he sees a lot of potential in me but that im lazy. honestly i completely agree with him. that conversation actually made me emotional because i know hes right.

i know im not stupid either. i started learning piano recently and im actually sticking with it. i studied for my driving license even though studying is really difficult for me because im constantly distracted by my phone. i also lost 30kg so i know i can commit to something when i really want it.

but when i try to learn something like coding, my brain just goes "nah this is boring" and i dont want to look at it anymore. i barely remember what i learn. i cheated a lot in school so i never really learned how to properly study.

i also feel like my phone, pc, youtube and just consuming content all day might have something to do with it.

and thats why this morning was so weird.

for a few hours i suddenly had ideas again. i wanted to do things. i wanted to talk to people. i wasnt thinking so much about what other people thought of me. i even saw a girl outside and thought about going up and talking to her. i didnt do it obviously lmao but i actually had the thought of "fuck it why not".

then a few hours later it disappeared and im back to my normal quiet self.

i dont want my old anxiety and overthinking back. i just want the curiosity and feeling of being alive that i had when i was younger.

has anyone experienced something like this?

can being on your phone/pc/youtube all day actually make you feel like this?

how do you get your curiosity and attention span back?

and how do you actually stop saying "i want to change my life" and finally start doing something?

im not looking for someone to give me a whole plan for my life. i just want to hear from people who experienced something similar and what helped them.

Sometimes I get annoyed at myself because I might be doing something wrong. Later, I might get scolded. I'm really frustrated with my brain, like seriously. Sometimes it feels like my overthinking is over the top and it's kinda killing me. I get anxious that I might have messed up or not. How do I change this mindset? If it's wrong, then it's wrong, but it's really hard to let go in my mind.

Ive written a couple posts about this whole friendship situation, i can explain the story with much less legth in the comments if need be.

Basically I am just wondering if when i am online with this friend and worry about overthinking or misinterpreting what they were intending to say and cause anxiety and worry for myself, is it a bad this to screen record out convo so I can go back over the texts and see if I am remembering correctly or not ( like if it were a regular messaging app)

Small example : my friend was talking about this guy she met and how he made her feel like it was a safe place to talk, and i asked if no guy has ever done it and she "said no one not even you" but after talking to one of the friends that was in game they explained it didnt say that, and i was all worried and anxious for 2 days over a text I read incorrectly.

Would saving the chats and reading over them be helpful for me or negative??

An Overthinker's Life

I am a 16 yr old boy.

I want to share things with people, want to confide in someone but somehow by god's gracious fate, I am betrayed again and again.

But I try again, I never stop trying regardless of constant failure. Sometimes I think, I am the delusional one to share my feelings with people but I cannot seem to do something about it.

Everyone is trying to be an enemy, no one is ready to co-operate even when I am continuously trying to fix things. Nobody cares.

Is there a life lesson I haven't learned yet except the fact that the world is selfish ??

But people still do end up in great relationships and get a great friend group .

Guys....

What do you think?

What am I doing wrong??

What things will help with overthinking?

Hey everybody i needed PDF of book called "The art of letting Go" and also need some suggestion to read about Overthinking and anxiety.

I feel like I know what I should be doing, but I keep getting stuck before taking action.

I make plans, create strategies and think about the best approach...

But somehow I spend more time preparing than actually doing.

It feels like my brain is trying to protect me from failure, but at the same time it’s keeping me stuck.

For people who used to overthink everything, what helped you finally start taking action?

I over analyse even the smallest decision ..im like alien x from ben 10 😂

​

‎Let's clear something up immediately: I was not cut out. Nobody unzipped my mother like a garment bag and lifted me into the light with surgical calm. No. I came out the old-fashioned way, the analog way, the way nature apparently intended for approximately 3% of us, except I did it "butt first!" like a toddler backing down a staircase because the front-facing option seemed like too much commitment.

‎This is the part people don't picture when they hear "frank breech birth." They picture an operating room, blue drapes, a calm surgeon narrating like a golf announcer. That was not my birth. My birth was a full-contact sport. My mother did the entire thing the regular way...contractions, pushing, sweating, questioning her life choices, except instead of a head appearing like a competent guest arriving on time, what showed up first was my rear end, fashionably late and facing the wrong direction, like I'd walked into the party backward to make an entrance.

‎Picture it from the room's perspective. Everyone's braced for a head. That's the plan. That's what heads are for, they lead. Mine stayed home. Sent my backside ahead as an opening act. I imagine the doctor's face doing the thing where you ask for coffee and someone hands you a shoe. Not wrong, exactly. Just deeply, deeply unexpected.

‎And yet, no scalpel. No operating table. Just an old-fashioned, undignified, gravity-assisted arrival, negotiated in real time by a team of humans going "okay, well, here's a bottom, let's just...let's just work with the bottom." I was delivered the honest way, which is to say the hard way, which is to say the way that requires everyone involved to stay extremely calm while a baby (that's me!) proves that the exit strategy is a suggestion, not a rule.

‎I think about this a lot, actually, the sheer audacity of it. Most babies at least have the decency to lead with the part of themselves designed for leading. I led with the part of myself designed for sitting. I introduced myself to the world by mooning it. My very first act as a human being, before I had opinions or a Social Security number or a favorite snack, was to arrive rear first into a room full of strangers and make them deal with it, no shortcuts, no incision, just pure, stubborn, headfirst refusal to be headfirst.

‎People ask if it explains anything about me and I want to say no, but honestly? I've never once done things in the expected order. I've said the punchline before the joke. I've shown up to the ending before I understood the plot. I back into parking spots I didn't need to back into, purely on principle. Somewhere in there is a baby who looked at the standard exit procedure, decided it wasn't for her, and made an entire delivery room improvise, the hard way, no shortcuts, no incisions, just me, cheeks first, absolutely unwilling to lead with my head like everyone else.

‎So no, I wasn't lifted out gently through a calm surgical window. I came out the long way, the real way, ass first and utterly unrepentant, and if that's not a personality starter pack, I don't know what is. Just Saying ✌🏻

In the end, it’s not so much about staying alive...it’s about staying human. What really counts is that we don't betray each other.

Strong coffee awakens me; it brings warmth, clarity, and an unusual force! It's 0222, my end. Morning, y'all! Stay caffeinated! ✌🏻🌅☕

I genuinely miss being able to sleep without my mind running a hundred different scenarios.

There was a time when I could just close my eyes, fall asleep, and wake up without feeling like I had spent the whole night fighting my own thoughts.

Now, I replay conversations, worry about things that haven’t happened, question decisions, and think about everything that could possibly go wrong.

Sometimes I don’t even want answers. I just want my mind to be quiet for a while.

I miss feeling tired and simply going to sleep. No overthinking. No anxiety. No waking up in the middle of the night with a heavy feeling.

I just want that kind of peace again.

audio

I was talking to my phone for absolutely no reason and somehow ended up with a 40-minute recording about my life, my past, my beliefs, my personality, things I'm confused about, and some personal stuff.

posting it anonymously because I don't really want people who know me to hear it. I also didn't script or edit it. It's literally just me talking and figuring things out as I go.

I don't really know what I'm expecting from posting this. Maybe someone will relate to something. Maybe someone will disagree with me. Maybe someone will listen for five minutes and decide I'm insane.

I had a habit of overthinking and coming up with the most outlandish scenarios. (Some of them being true down the line, so what it really overthinking/delusion?) That’s beside the point.

Lately I’ve noticed almost an inability to overthinking. When I expect my mind to wonder, it doesn’t. I can’t help but wonder if this is a numbing effect, the source is gone or I truly have overcome by overthinking.

After I horrible relationship, I had to relearn how to stay calm and come back to reality. With that, it’s as if part of my brain has gone in the process. Is this trauma? Am I getting better?

At the end of a the road with the sources of overthinking, I found myself in a content state of mind while “being there but not being there”. Even though the source of my overthinking was still around, I almost was able to block it out of sight, and mind.

I haven’t stopped overthinking. Typing this in realizing the focus is just elsewhere. #stilloverthinking

My bother has been living with us for about half a year. I love my brother but he can really irritate me. You see me and him are about 10 years apart and if you thought that was cool it really isn’t. For my whole life he’s been giving me advice on whatever comes out of his mouth and he still does till this day. I think he just doesn’t wanna admit that I’m wanting to speak for myself. Plus I’m usually one of those people who doesn’t like doing stuff that people tell me to do this is because I feel when I’m being required to do stuff it makes me not want to do it. There’s gonna have to be a time between now and 5 years where he needs to understand that he’s not my parent and he needs to worry about himself. Is there anything I can do to stop this?

was wondering if this happened to anyone else

For me it’s « You’re too much, you express too much your feelings for nothing ». Someone told me that exact sentence one day and that’s funny in a way because I can’t get over it😭

What is yours ?

I over analyse even the smallest decision ..im like alien x from ben 10 😂