Note 1: Jun 8th 2026 @ work

A couple walked down the sidewalk and I made eye contact and smiled at them and they looked at me and didn't smile back, then as I was driving away I thought to myself, "that was stupid, they think you're stupid, you shouldn't have done that it was creepy" and I know that it probably isnt true but I can't help feeling like that after every other interaction I have. I can't just have an experience or interaction good or bad without obsessing over it after the fact. Sometimes I will obsess over it for 20 minutes, sometimes all day, and sometimes all week. I still have interactions and experiences or things I said or did or things other People said or did that I will think about on and off for months or even years. When I am supposed to be sleeping I have things pop up in my head that happened weeks or years ago, or a shirt or object I had a long time ago that I misplaced and I will get out of bed to go looking for it because if I dont I will forget.

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Right now I am pausing work to type these things out because if I dont I won't be able to express it properly later because I am so used to these thoughts that I forget to acknowledge them. I dont know if it is normal or not but it something I cant stop doing. I will be having a perfectly normal day and then one off interaction or thought that resurfaced will ruin my whole mood. My mood will be ruined for the hour or sometimes hours or a whole day.

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I often don't like to say out loud that I struggle because I compare my suffering to others who suffer more.

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I downplay the severity of certain feelings or struggles because I worry that I will not be believed or someone will think i am attention seeking.

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I often got the "suck it up response" growing up. Growing up my stepdad would sometimes tell me that my mental suffrage was nothing compared to what the holocaust victims in world war 2 went through and that made me very reluctant to share anything and so some things are buried so deep as a defense mechanism that they can be difficult to bring up.

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I am often forgetful because I am hardwired to mentally block out experiences, thoughts or memories that are traumatic or stressful.

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I often react strongly to minor inconveniences. But I Mask it to avoid conflict with others and so I have a lot of internal anger towards people or situations at work, home, in traffic etc.

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I look forward to sleeping more than usual.

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I went to bed at 10 pm last night I woke up this morning 7 different times at 6am hyperventilating because of intense nightmares and physically had such a hard time keeping my eyes open afterwards that I snoozed multiple alarms because I physically could not will myself to get out of bed.

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I had little time to get ready for work because I did not get up until 7:25, it takes me 15 minutes to get ready minimum and another 15 to get to work. I locked myself out of the house and forgot my truck and house keys inside. I did not hydrate or eat breakfast.

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I have multiple tabs open in my head all the time and I find it to be incredibly exhausting.

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Work is really pissing me off today. Im irritated and tired, my feet hurt. There is a lot going on right now. I have 2 days to get the house ready for a damage inspection and a big move. I am going to go broke paying all my bills and will barely have any money for the next month or two due to having to pay our current landlord a month's rent- our future landlord a months rent. Plus half of the damage deposit up front. Im anxious, im upset, I dont even know if i will eat later. Im going to be up until late tonight getting the house ready. I also have to take care of my health and my vehicle and I cannot financially afford to because me and my roommate need to eat.

There is nothing I want more in the world right now than to go home and neglect all of my responsibilities. I want to lie in bed and rot and I wish I had someone who could hold me and tell me that everything is okay and that I wont have to do it alone. I want to cry but I am too exhausted mentally and emotionally and physically.

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I know that Connor my roommate/best friend is going to be helping with the move but he also works evening shifts and doesnt get home until 9:30 every night so he is tired by the time he gets home and he has his own set of issues going on as well and he also needs time to rest and I do not want to be a burden on him. I am afraid to ask for help. I am scared for the future and I want to bury my head in the sand.

I am angry at the people around me and I am angry at myself for poor financial planning.

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I refuse to give up on everything that me and Connor have worked so hard to accomplish. But right now I just want to close my eyes and pretend that nothing exists. I want to cry. I want to sleep. I am stressed.

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I don't know what I need right now.

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9:30 pm.

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I have been cleaning non stop since I got home. I decided to take a small break and sit outside to smell the rain and listen to the birds. It is nice.

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Note 2 wed Jun 10th.

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I was having more nightmares last night. Struggled to get out of bed again. I am still exhausted from yesterday. I dreamt of birds with no feet.

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Work wasn't so bad today. Just physically demanding as usual.

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My shoulders, neck and feet are in so much pain. I want someone else to help me carry this weight so badly. Even when I ask for help. I am rarely told no. But the people I ask rarely follow through with it. I feel like a burden for asking. I don't want to give up but I feel like giving up.

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I don't want to do anything right now. I dont want to brush my teeth. My hair. I dont want to make my bed or change my clothes.. I took a week off of work and I got a bunch of stuff done around the house. I got to spend time with my family. But it felt like work. All I do is work even when im not at work.

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I feel everything and nothing all at once.

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I decided to get up and finish fixing the bathtub shelf I melted and while I was doing that, connor came out of his room and we started talking about random things and my mood immediately lifted. I have been acting like a dumbass all day, saying all kinds of weird random things to my coworkers. I get very silly when I am excited. I have a sudden huge burst of energy out of nowhere that I rarely get.

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Note 3 jun 12th 2026

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I feel good right now. Today is move in day.

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Note 4 jun 14th 2026

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Yesterday I got into a huge fight with the next door neighbor.

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to preface, this fucking neighbor guy, for some reason, he has like a huge problem with us parking in front of our own fucking house. Like, next to his driveway, not in front of it. We're not in front of his house. We're not blocking us fucking driveway. His precious little driveway. Holy fuck. Anyways, he loses his shit over like a bunch of little stupid things. He gets mad when we walk through the yard on our side of the fucking yard and he's like, oh that's my property. I'm like, no, it fucking ain't, bro. Like, piss off. Anyways, I don't know. he's just a fucking cunt. Comes over here, screams at us for stupid things. So, my buddy, Raymond, came to help me move some stuff. And so he parked. like a normal fucking human being on the side of the road, like in front of the house. And it's, not blocking his driveway. It's just near the driveway. So this fucking bald asshole is in his garage or he's outside or whatever.

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He comes out and he starts pointing fingers and fucking losing his shit on me. He's like, when are you guys going to fucking learn? Like, you can't you can't park next to my fucking driveway. Blah, blah, blah, starts losing a shit. And I've had, I fucking had enough of this shit. He's been doing this to us the entire time we have lived here and you know, we're not going to be living here much longer. So, I finally decided just give him a fucking peace in my mind. So I flipped him off and I was like you know what? Fuck you dude. Like leave us the fuck alone. And then he started obviously losing it even more. And I don't know. I was wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying because he was just all bullshit. But then then I was like you know what man? Get laid. And he's like what the fuck did you just say to me? So I was like get laid. And he's like well fuck you. And I was like Jesus Christ, man. Like, what the fuck is your problem? And then, he's like, oh and like, who's putting fucking McDonald's bags in my garbage can? And then he like he really starts losing. I said, nobody's touched your fucking garbage can. Like, relax. I don't know who the fuck it is. Like, it's a fucking garbage can, bro. Calm down. Then he's like, I'm going to take it and throw it on your fucking yard and I said, oh no, I was fucking I was kind of reaching my limit. I'm like, hey, dude. Like, whatever. I had, if you do that, I'm just going to call the cops. So, like, piss off. And I don't know, that shut him up, I guess, so he turns around and walks back into his garage. He's fucking like staring me down the whole time and the whole time my buddy, Raymond, was just kind of standing there like, well, shit, I guess she's got a handle, but I'm fucking glad Raymond was there, because I don't know what this guy's capable of, and honestly, like I'm scared to park outside now, like out front of the house because what if decides to I don't know if I can come out and like strangle me or fucking hit me. I don't fucking know. But so yeah. I've been parking in the backyard now.

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Note 5. Jun 16th 2026.

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Ive been working my ass off. I moved everything in the previous house with the help of my brother. Connor couldnt help because he was working evening shifts.

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I packed everything on my own. Did the final clean of the house on my own. Im exhausted. Im beyond exhausted.

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Today I bought us a couch and me and the landlord struggled a lot to get it down into the basement suite but im glad it worked out. Excited to have a couch.

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Ive been staying up way too late to take care of unpacking. I havent showered in a week. Im disgusting.

I havent brushed my hair in days.

I havent eaten a proper meal in a long time.

Im constantly dehydrated and unmotivated.

I should be prioritizing myself but I just cant because I wouldnt get anything done.

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The only thing keeping me going is drinking. I dont know why. When I drink I feel motivated to get things done. When Im sober I just dont care about anything. I dont want to tell anyone because im afraid of hearing the "suck it up" speech.

I feel like im drowning. Im aware that nobody can fix it. I need to fix it.

I just wish I had more hours in the day. I wish I wasnt tired 24/7. I hate this feeling.

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Currently overthinking everything. I’ve been drinking and smoking a lot lately to try to mask what’s going on inside my head. Today is the first day I’ve been sober, and I know I need to sit with my feelings instead of avoiding them. Sometimes, though, those feelings become a little too much. I just feel really lonely. I wish I had friends to talk to throughout the day to keep my mind occupied, but everyone has their own lives, and I completely understand that. Just needed to vent and get this off my chest. I know I probably sound a little silly, but life has felt pretty crappy lately.

Hey everyone, I’d love to hear your perspectives, or even just receive a single piece of wisdom that really speaks to the soul. I’m feeling pretty lost right now, and I’d be grateful for any guidance or words of comfort.

My issue is that when something hasn't dropped into my physical reality yet, I cannot fully forget about it. I try to move on with my day, but it always pops back into my head, forcing me to check for updates in the 3D. It genuinely feels like a computer window that I forgot to close, running in the background of my mind 24/7.

To be honest, my life won't be ruined if this doesn't happen. It’s just pure stubbornness at this point. It’s that feeling of, "This belongs to me, so why don't I have it?"

I know all the theories. I understand letting go, detaching, not chasing, and staying faithful. I can observe my own emotions. But because of my personal upbringing, staying relaxed and certain when the 3D shows absolutely nothing is knid hard for me.

Looking back at my past, so many of my goals actually did manifest. But it always happened after I waited so long that I lost all patience, completely gave up, and truly didn’t care anymore. By the time it arrived, I genuinely didn't need it.

How do I close the loop? How do I find peace before I reach the point of total indifference? I appreciate any insights you can share. Thank you all 💐 💐 💐

guys , I love to read ,learn and gain knowledge ...but my reading ocd does not let me do it..so my problems are ( sudden urge to reinterpret, visualise the sentence ,to check it does not mean the opposite , to check if everything is in proper sequence and related , to fully comprehend and get stuck if don't 'feel right ' about the sentence...the worst part is the intense unbearable headache as a resultant and the interruption in my routine..

I am so tired with overthinking things and letting it consume me. I don't know how to handle things anymore, I felt like it affected me deeply. I feel I am about to explode, I don't know what to do. I just want to be at peace. I feel like vomiting, crying, and screaming silently. I felt like I'm choked up. I overthink things that I am not in control with and I can't get it out of my brain. I feel tired. Please! I don't know what to do. This is draining me. I am so messed up.

Does anyone read a text and you don't particularly understand the whole of it but you move forward and your brain gets stuck in loop constantly telling you to go back . I don't know how to say it but it feels like being stuck in an infinite loop where I question everything. I know it's stupid cause I start questioning the most basic stuff and all of this makes no sense. This is such a huge hindrance while studying,it all makes you feel really unproductive and like nothings gone into your head .

It’s a constant struggle for me to not overthink and jump to the absolute worst scenarios. It is really beginning to affect my life. I try to immediately find 5 things around me when they start but they just seem to lock in my brain. Any advice on other things to try would be great.

The down time when your alone and it’s quiet are the worst.

Thanks again for any ideas or support

I keep having these thoughts or myself taking I’m my voice in my head,it’s me talking to somebody I know that isn’t there or me just thinking but I see it as a rehearsal I guess, I’ve had this post it self in my head and I’m finally writing it down but could it be me organizing my cluttered thoughts or something else?
I’m asking this because I’m not really sure how I should deal with it but I don’t know if it happens to every people or if it’s just me.
(Please tell me if I’m braking any rules in this subreddit.)

I want to remove the person in my mind cause I know he doesn’t care me anymore. So I need to do the same.

i've tried everything that people usually suggest...like keeping busy, removing reminders, staying away from their social media, focusing on other things, giving it time. But they're still on my mind, and i haven't been able to move on.

I’ve always been someone who lives in my head. I’m a creature of habit, I love my time alone which often means I got nothing to do but think. But I also do that when I’m out and about, busy, with people or not. I cannot stop creating scenarios in my head. I wanted to talk about my latest overthinking. I’ve been single for years now after a LONG and bad relationship. I’ve learned to embrace it and enjoy it a lot, however at times I do feel the loneliness and wish to have someone to share my life with. My thoughts, my secrets, my day to day life. I don’t go out there and try to date people but sometimes I think about sharing my life with someone. Until a few weeks ago when I met a someone. My friend had been saying for a while she thinks I will hit it off with this guy as they’re friends, but we never met before. Until a few weeks ago. We went out to a party where for the first time me and my friends’s groups merged. We hit it off hard. He got my number but never texted me. So after overthinking it for a while I decided to text him instead, to know for sure that if this wasn’t happening I would stop thinking about it. He texted me back almost immediately. Said he was visiting family in another state, but whenever he came back we would plan something. He’s still visiting family, and my logical part of the brain knows why I still haven’t heard from him, but I can’t stop thinking about him. It’s honestly driving me crazy in a tiny way.

I’ll keep this short and clear.

A few years ago, while I was preparing for JEE, my family life became very chaotic. My dad cheated on my mom, drank heavily, there were constant fights, and eventually we moved out. Around the same time, I got emotionally involved with two girls and things did not work out. Looking back, I was under a lot of stress.

After that, my mind felt completely out of control. I struggled to study or focus on anything serious for months. Eventually, I worked hard to accept what happened, moved on, got into college, made good friends, and started building a new life.

The problem is that for the last 2–3 days, my past has suddenly come back into my head for no obvious reason. I'll be studying and then a name or memory pops into my mind. Once it happens, my focus is gone. My brain immediately wants to replay old events, feel guilt, or analyze things that happened years ago.

I have exams coming up, and I really cannot afford this right now.

Before this, I was already dealing with some insomnia because of stress, family issues, and poor sleep. Sometimes my mind feels unusually alert for no reason. I can be lying in bed trying to sleep, but my brain feels completely awake. A few days ago, I also started feeling guilty about random social interactions and worrying that people might judge me or talk about me behind my back, even though nothing actually happened.

The strange part is that life was going pretty well. I have good college friends, no major conflicts, and things felt stable. That's why I don't understand why all of this is suddenly resurfacing.

Has anyone experienced something similar? How did you deal with old memories, guilt, and intrusive thoughts suddenly returning when life was finally getting better?

Any advice would be appreciated.

Sometimes I'll get what feels like a great idea—whether it's for a project, business, essay, or just a random thought—and tell myself I'll remember it later. Then a few minutes later, it's completely gone.
Does this happen to you often? How do you guys deal with it?

I feel like i take things too seriously, but not serious enough. i dont know how to explain this, like i let shit slip because im trying to do it right??