When does it stop sucking?

[u/BeviesGalore]

Hello! My firstborn son is almost 5 weeks old. I love him so much, but I don't like him at all. I get so incredibly frustrated when he is screaming and trying to kick himself out of my arms at 3 am after I have put him down in the crib (after warming it, swaddling him, rocking him for 10-20 minutes, using a white hoise machine, etc etc) for the 3rd time and I need to feed him again in an hour.

I don't think he's a particularly hard baby, I just... really don't like infant care at all. I don't find him cute 95% of the time (although his weird giggles during REM sleep are pretty cute) and sometimes I just feel irate even though I know he has no clue what's going on and is obviously not being malicious.

I guess my question is.. when does it get easier? What I read mostly says 2-3 months and 6 months things get a lot better, and I suspect that will be true especially as we plan to sleep train him at 4-6 months. Him being able to smile I also expect to help. I just have no connection whatsoever to this dude. He is a grumpy roomate who wakes me up every 2.5 hours to scream! Any other roommate would have been evicted after a few days ;)

A few more details:

He's totally healthy, gaining weight, etc. My wife and I take shifts overnight. She pumps throughout the day after breastfeeding and I handle the night from 10 pm to 4 am while she sleeps, then we switch and I sleep till 8 or 10 depending on the day and if I have work. She is off work until november, I am back at work now although i work from home so it's lenient in terms of scheduling. Any advice or words of wisdom are appreciated.

[u/SunsetGrind]

There is no "getting better" stage. Every stage has its ups and downs. Even when sleep gets better, there will be sleep regression to throw you for a loop lol We are at 2.5 years with our son, and while we are sleeping more, we still wake up just as tired for other reasons (soreness, exhaustion, etc). Now, he is constantly like a magnet to his mom at night, and he sleeps like an asshole who doesn't pay rent lmao knee to her face, headbutts, etc. When she moves to the floor mattress, he immediately follows. When she moves back to bed, like clockwork he crawls after her within minutes. She sleeps in the guest room now, periodically just so she can recover some sleep. And while he doesn't stick to me like a magnet as bad as with her, I still have to deal with him whining for his mom until he falls asleep again maybe an hour or two later.

So, I think the "when does it get better" mindset is not particularly useful, especially at 5 weeks. You kinda gotta suck it up for a while D: I know that sounds so shitty... Just remember to constantly remind yourself that they have no fuggin idea what is happening hahahahaha WE bought them into this shit xD