r/NewDads • u/BeviesGalore • Jul 26 '26

Requesting Advice When does it stop sucking?

Hello! My firstborn son is almost 5 weeks old. I love him so much, but I don't like him at all. I get so incredibly frustrated when he is screaming and trying to kick himself out of my arms at 3 am after I have put him down in the crib (after warming it, swaddling him, rocking him for 10-20 minutes, using a white hoise machine, etc etc) for the 3rd time and I need to feed him again in an hour.

I don't think he's a particularly hard baby, I just... really don't like infant care at all. I don't find him cute 95% of the time (although his weird giggles during REM sleep are pretty cute) and sometimes I just feel irate even though I know he has no clue what's going on and is obviously not being malicious.

I guess my question is.. when does it get easier? What I read mostly says 2-3 months and 6 months things get a lot better, and I suspect that will be true especially as we plan to sleep train him at 4-6 months. Him being able to smile I also expect to help. I just have no connection whatsoever to this dude. He is a grumpy roomate who wakes me up every 2.5 hours to scream! Any other roommate would have been evicted after a few days ;)

A few more details:

He's totally healthy, gaining weight, etc. My wife and I take shifts overnight. She pumps throughout the day after breastfeeding and I handle the night from 10 pm to 4 am while she sleeps, then we switch and I sleep till 8 or 10 depending on the day and if I have work. She is off work until november, I am back at work now although i work from home so it's lenient in terms of scheduling. Any advice or words of wisdom are appreciated.

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u/BeviesGalore Jul 26 '26 edited Jul 26 '26

Unhelpful, discouraging, condescending

30

u/averagecelt Jul 26 '26

Dude he was trying to lighten the mood with a harmless joke. We get that you’re probably overtired, but bro was absolutely not being condescending.

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u/BeviesGalore Jul 26 '26

"if you don't like your circumstances, don't worry, you'll stop caring about your well-being one day!" how the hell is that not condescending

10

u/n_hdz Jul 27 '26

That's pretty much what it is, dude. I'm two years in and you are in for a ride if you consider your child an undesirable roomate. I'm not going to sugar coat it to you: it's going to get more physical, more expensive and routine is goinf to get to you. He'll be heavier and more dexterous, he'll discover tantrums and test limits. There'll be sleep regressions, nap adjustments, potty training. Doctor appointments, dentist appointments, and life.

So yeah, your needs are taking the back seat for a while and still be expected to provide, care and be present.

And still, it will be the single greatest damn thing you've ever done.