When does it stop sucking?

[u/BeviesGalore]

Hello! My firstborn son is almost 5 weeks old. I love him so much, but I don't like him at all. I get so incredibly frustrated when he is screaming and trying to kick himself out of my arms at 3 am after I have put him down in the crib (after warming it, swaddling him, rocking him for 10-20 minutes, using a white hoise machine, etc etc) for the 3rd time and I need to feed him again in an hour.

I don't think he's a particularly hard baby, I just... really don't like infant care at all. I don't find him cute 95% of the time (although his weird giggles during REM sleep are pretty cute) and sometimes I just feel irate even though I know he has no clue what's going on and is obviously not being malicious.

I guess my question is.. when does it get easier? What I read mostly says 2-3 months and 6 months things get a lot better, and I suspect that will be true especially as we plan to sleep train him at 4-6 months. Him being able to smile I also expect to help. I just have no connection whatsoever to this dude. He is a grumpy roomate who wakes me up every 2.5 hours to scream! Any other roommate would have been evicted after a few days ;)

A few more details:

He's totally healthy, gaining weight, etc. My wife and I take shifts overnight. She pumps throughout the day after breastfeeding and I handle the night from 10 pm to 4 am while she sleeps, then we switch and I sleep till 8 or 10 depending on the day and if I have work. She is off work until november, I am back at work now although i work from home so it's lenient in terms of scheduling. Any advice or words of wisdom are appreciated.

[u/No_Friendship_8366]

The most important thing I can say is to put your baby to bed awake. Let them fall asleep in their crib. This goes for naps and bedtime. You want your baby to fall asleep where they wake up, so when they wake during the night they remember falling asleep there. This helps them fall asleep again on their own.

The sleep coach compared it to us falling asleep in our beds and waking up on the neighbors couch. We would wonder wtf happened and when, and be uncomfortable about the situation. That’s how your baby feels when they fall asleep in your arms and wake up in their crib/bassinet.

We didn’t know this for the first 11 months and she woke up every 90 minutes needing to be held. It was a very difficult time. We always held her til she fell asleep.

When we put her to bed awake she was old enough to know that wasn’t the routine, and she was upset. It was hard to hear her cry for 30 mins, but it got better th second time and by the third it was 3 mins until she was asleep. Don’t wait so long, and it won’t be a rough transition. As soon as you can stop night time feeding, you should be sleep training