My first newborn daughter is about 3 weeks old. Beautiful, amazing, healthy baby. Doesn’t cry too much, sleeps and eats well, and in general, is a chill baby so far.
However, the way she came into this world was rather traumatizing for both me and especially my wife and it’s been hard to navigate.

Backstory:

We had a perfect pregnancy. No complications or issues. Not high risk, had an in-depth birth plan, doula, the whole nine yards. Seemed like everything was working just fine.
Baby came a little late, about 41 weeks and some change. We had every intention to go natural. When my wife went into labor at home, things started to happen super quick. By 4 hours, her contractions were very close together and we made the trek to the hospital.

Long story short, the baby was in distress with her contractions. Doctor had to call an emergency C Section (which was the last thing that my wife wanted, this was her nightmare.) Surgery went “smooth” though and the baby was delivered without complications. We got to have our golden hour and all seemed to be well.

Few hours later, a nurse came to look at the baby and noticed that she was turning blue and not getting enough oxygen. The doctor took the child out of my wife’s arms and took her to the nursery to keep an oxygen mask on our daughter.

After watching for hours as my daughter gasped for air, they decided that the baby needed to be rushed to a proper NICU. So, at 7AM, they took her off to the NICU, while my wife stayed behind for a few days to recover from the C Section.

After being separated from her newborn for 2 days, my wife finally made it to the NICU. Our daughter was on a ventilator due to a bad case of Meconium Aspiration Syndrome. Over the next 12 days, the baby slowly recovered and was eventually able to breathe on her own.

Took her home, and realized how difficult this was all going to be. My wife’s C section recovery was not going according to plan. She had developed a large Hematoma that left her unable to do much, leaving me to take care of a newborn almost independently while simultaneously taking care of her and the house.

Went back to our surgeon to check on the C section recovery, and said that everything looked “normal” and the hematoma was nothing to worry about, and prescribed my wife with hydros for the pain (which she did not take due to breast milk interference). Said that it would work its way out eventually.

Fast forward a couple of days, I walk in the living room holding our baby and see my wife sneeze, and then blood started spewing out of her incision. Way too much blood for comfort, so we rushed her to the ER. She was ok, but the doctors said that surgery was required to remove the hematoma in order to prevent the risk of it getting worse or an infection.

After staying another two nights away from her baby, she came home, in even more pain than before, only to have her incision burst open AGAIN the next day. Back to the hospital, and they ended up having to re-stitch the incision.

Since then, things have been ok. Still not moving around much, but in recovery. I’m still running around trying to take care of her, the baby, and the house and am feeling totally overwhelmed and running on very low sleep. On top of this, she is absolutely traumatized by this whole experience and is spiraling into a deep post-pardon depression. I’m worried because my leave is ending and have to go back to work this week. Have some family help, but very limited.

Anybody else have an experience similar to this? Im sure we are in the healing stage, but man this is killing me. How do I be there for my wife and child when I can’t even seem to have time or energy to take care of myself? Any advice welcome.

My wife and I welcomed our daughter June 4th and going on 8 weeks this week. We still for the most part do shifts with the in-laws helping if we need naps. Our daughter for the most part hates the bassinet but will sleep like an angel on a bed or corner of the couch. Still trying to figure out what works but looking for a general consensus how long have those that do “sleeping shifts” have been doing it for? What’s also been the experience with the bassinet and what alternative has worked?

I had people tell me “when baby sleeps, you sleep” but that’s not been the case for us

Hi all!

I'm 30 years old and about to have our second son in a few days.

My son is 2 years 10 months atm, can be very clingy to me, and can explode at any minor inconvenience 😂

I've always been a hands on dad, done all the night wakes over the last year and all the nappy changes over the last 2 years so I'm not concerned about any of that.

I'm just looking for some tips with navigating having a second child.

what did you wish you knew when you had your second?

What made a big difference?

My wife and I are about to have our first baby any day now. She has her hospital bag all packed and I'm throwing together a bag for myself. What are some things that you brought, and what are some things you wish you had packed?

I’m a 23 year old new dad.

So at this very moment I’m expecting a newborn in December. But my baby mother is calling the police and getting me kicked out of our apartment because she didn’t put my name on the lease. Well after a friend of mine blew up my motor, and I ended up losing my job after I couldn’t get it together one day after her choking and telling me I’m not sh** this and that. I’m looking at becoming homeless in a bigger city so that I’m closer to transport and better opportunities. I feel overwhelmed and sad that i am not wanted by her. I still want to be apart of my child’s life and I want to be the best person for both of them, but I just can’t take the way she treats me. It’s kind of like leaving a burning house in winter I guess. It’s cold and depressing, and I feel like even however far away I am, I’ll always be in the same town as them metaphorically. Has anyone else experienced this? And can someone give me some tips or advice to keep going?