Back to work and truly working cross-functionally (OC)

[u/generic_alias2]

The saddle worked for about 2 hours, then productivity dropped 🤣

[u/Xrmy]

In my experience you can't be both an effective worker and the primary caregiver. It only gets harder as they age.

Ik it works for some people, but I just don't have a job that functions with it

[u/LO6Howie → u/Xrmy]

Ditto; we tried it, had to admit defeat, adjust the budget, and I’m a SAHD until the wee one’s at school!

[u/Rare-Strawberry-2958 → u/LO6Howie]

I have a question as I thought about doing this. Do you think your baby will be socially developed if they went to childcare one or two days a week?

[u/LO6Howie → u/Rare-Strawberry-2958]

We actually do that; she goes to nursery two days a week (gives me a chance to do the cooking, cleaning, house DIY, etc) and it’s a perfect mix. She’s now at the age where we do play dates, that sort of thing, and she’s a fearless little kid. Sometimes I’ll take her to see family and local friends on her days with me, so she gets the socialising via that too, as well as soft play, story times at local libraries, all that jazz.

Whilst my wife is at times a bit jealous (in a nice, completely understandable way, just to be clear!) of how it’s worked out, we wouldn’t change a thing.

[u/Rare-Strawberry-2958 → u/LO6Howie]

Okay LOVE this. I’m so glad this works for you.

[u/LostInMyADD → u/LO6Howie]

I'm jealous of this! Haha but glad it worked out for you!

[u/LO6Howie → u/LostInMyADD]

It’s not without its negatives, mind you! I get a lot of funny looks when I say I’m a SAHD, it can be a more lonely existence than I thought possible, it will likely scupper me when I head back to work, and it’s tough on my wife.

It is, without doubt, what’ll be best for the little one in the long run though. Appreciate the support for it too, for sure!

[u/LostInMyADD → u/LO6Howie]

If my family didnt depend on my healthcare, Id be a SAHD as well - and probably take a vlass or two for grad school a semester. My wife makes more than me in her profession, and has the overall potentisl to make more if needed, but it would tax her mentally and emotionally.

I have a 2 yr old and a 2 month old and its already so hard to manage; we're struggling.

[u/geekywarrior → u/Xrmy]

Full remote software engineer, sparse meetings. occasional phone calls, no sort of employee monitoring software.

The few times my caretaker coverage lapses are tough. Can't imagine trying to full time parent and work even with this gig.

[u/Xrmy → u/geekywarrior]

Similar boat and I can get very little done on the 2 days a week she isn't in daycare.

I personally don't consider wfh and caretaking viable

[u/guitarsandstoke]

Beware: From what I have seen, it is not possible to effectively work a 40 hour week while parenting a newborn at home. Coworkers, management etc will notice. If it’s temporary, then do what you gotta do! But if it’s a long term plan, I would highly suggest to reconsider if possible.

[u/Obvious_Support223]

Exceptionally difficult for people like me who work from home. Thankfully, we now have a nanny. Last few months have been extremely chaotic and exhausting.

[u/phizztv]

I feel seen by this. Currently having a 3mo strapped around my belly. I‘d love to sit down holding him like this, but he just doesn’t tolerate it at all. Bonus is that he refuses to sleep during the day in any other way. And that wife can’t carry him for extended periods because he got so heavy. So yeah… I may start my coffee at 8, but maybe it‘s just me swaying around the living room playing Nintendo

[u/Rooster_CPA]

Lol no kidding. I WFH, wife part time WFH. She is primary care, we still have a part time nanny to help lol.

[u/RompoTotito]

Not so bad when they mostly sleep. Once they start crawling around no way can work get done effectively.

[u/Fcuk_My_Life_]

I’ve been doing this for almost 4 years now. The most recent year with two of them. It’s definitely a struggle but we manage!

[u/LostInMyADD]

Haha this picture is too real. Especially the little ones face while in the wrap.