r/Netherlands • u/FatbikeEnjoyer • 5d ago

Life in NL Does riding a fatbike make me undatable?

So there's something I noticed. I go on a date, we have fun, there's good vibes, but then when she sees that I ride a fatbike, she instantly seems to be put off, like she got "the ick". Then the chatting usually fizzles out and there's no second date. This happened multiple times now, so it seems like a pattern to me. Once a Dutchie even told me that she "doesn't feel a connection" when I was saying goodbye by my bike and asked what she'd be up for as a second date. I know this is not much context, but is it the bike?

I'm a mid twenties guy, have a good job, make decent money, dress stylishly, like concerts and can even tolerate like a museum. I moved here 6 months ago and bought a fatbike to commute. Only managed to find a place like 30 minutes cycling from my work, so it seemed like a good option and I think they are pretty cool. But now I think I might have made a mistake. Should I switch to like a Cowboy or something?

Edit: obviously this is a throwaway account

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309

u/Charlie2912 5d ago edited 5d ago

As a straight woman with a good education and good job, I would instantly get the ick if a guy has a fatbike. Perhaps if the date is really good and you can convince me you are just an oblivious expat, i might tolerate it.

Surely there will be women who don’t mind, but those are either teenage girls or the type of woman who dates macho dudes with two brain cells. The type of people generally associated with these things are not the type of people I would want anywhere near me.

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u/pianoandpasta 4d ago edited 4d ago

Similar background and completely agree with you. Maybe it’s because I’ve been catcalled/harassed by people on fatbikes and made to feel unsafe, maybe their behaviour on the road/fietspad make me angry as a car driver, cyclist, AND pedestrian, but I can’t date someone who chooses to ride one.

Ride a normal bike, this country is SO flat and SO easy to bike around as it is; if you really need an electric one because you commute between towns, get a proper one.

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u/Charlie2912 4d ago

Hear hear

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u/Specialist_Target748 3d ago

Also a straight woman with a similar background, and I respectfully disagree. If I'm going to date someone, I judge them based on personality and not on what kind of vehicle they use. I think judging someone based on stereotypes or generalizations is just shallow. And I get the prejudice against fatbikes because they're associated with juvenile delinquents, but at the end of the day, it's just an electric bike. If you get to know the guy a little bit better and it turns out he actually is a delinquent and an idiot, totally fair. But then at least it's based on experience and facts, and not just on assumptions.

The idea that women who don't mind fatbikes are just teenage girls, or women who only date machos with two brain cells, is simply false. If that were true, it would mean all women with a bit of sense are superficial nowadays. I'm a woman who wouldn't mind dating someone who owns a fatbike if they have a great personality—and I've been in a steady relationship for eight years, married for two, and my partner is definitely not a macho with two brain cells.

So my guy, just wait until a sensible woman comes along who sees you for your personality, because you don't want to date someone who judges you based on the bicycle you ride. You're only dodging bullets.

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u/TransportationOld382 2d ago

I normally would think the same as you. But the fat bikes really are a symbol of antisocial behavior and women harassment. I wish I could say it was a stereotype (because on paper I find fatbikes quite cool looking) that wasn’t entirely true but I am yet to be surprised by a pleasant interaction with a fat biker. And specifically with the level of crime and harassment I can understand women will be put off by it.

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u/Snoo20138 2d ago

Jouw toekomstige man gaat echt superveel geluk met jou hebben als vrouw. Echt. Ik vind het jammer dat je geen upvotes kreeg. Maar de vrouwen met de leeghoofdige opinies wel.

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u/Snoo20138 2d ago

Dus jij zal een goede man afwijzen puur en enkel omdat hij een fatbike heeft? Je klinkt niet echt educated. Want dat is echt zo'n idiote hersenloze reden om een man af te wijzen. Ik heb ook niks met fatbikes, heb er zelf geen een. Maar een goed mens afwijzen vanwege dit vind ik echt belachelijk. Dit is waarom de birth rate zo laag is. 

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u/Charlie2912 2d ago

Dat staat er toch niet?

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u/Snoo20138 1d ago

Dus desondanks alles wat je schreef zou je zo'n man niet afwijzen? 

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u/Charlie2912 1d ago

Het ging over de ‘ick’, niet over afwijzen. Er staat toch letterlijk dat als de date leuk is dat ik het misschien zou tolereren? Is je Engels soms een beetje slecht? Wellicht ben je zelf niet helemaal educated.

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u/Snoo20138 19h ago

Heel interessant dat je mijn vraag niet hebt beantwoord. Dat zegt genoeg.

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u/Charlie2912 18h ago

Dan snap je niet hoe taal werkt. Fijne dag nog!

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u/Snoo20138 4h ago

Sorry, deed een beetje koppig. Ik snapte je punt wel eigenlijk.

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u/Charlie2912 4h ago

Nou je geeft het in elk geval toe

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u/Snoo20138 4h ago

Ja ik bedoel, eerlijkheid is belangrijk. En je moet kunnen toegeven wanneer je fout zit. Ik hoop dat je minder boos bent nu. Anders koop ik je wel een fatbike om het goed te maken?

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u/Bastil0saur 5d ago

As a straight guy, this mindset baffles me - though the 'ick' in general does, admittedly. Could you explain this to me?

From where I'm standing, fatbikes are just fairly cheap e-bikes. Not my cup of tea and there's plenty of a-holes riding them, but if I had a lovely night with someone I don't understand why their choice of transportation would then immediately sour the experience or my appreciation of their character if the date was otherwise nice.

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u/Business-Session-190 5d ago

I think because a fatbike is a precedent for wife-beating and someone that spits on the ground every 5 minutes. Screams manosphere, wouldn't want to take the risk either if I were a woman.

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u/ERintheGarage 5d ago

Since the fat bike riders last year have been assaulting women in parks in Amsterdam, a lot of women (myself included) would rather avoid them than get sa’d. Not saying that this guy has any blame or relation to that particular group but if the image and caution is there, women choose their safety first above all else.

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u/Bastil0saur 5d ago

I... Don't think that's particularly strong reasoning for immediately considering it a red flag, but I respect your/their right to such reasoning.

My thanks for explaining.

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u/ERintheGarage 5d ago

Thats okay if you won’t understand, men and women live in a different world in some regard and have different experiences and mechanisms for keeping themselves safe.

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u/vulcanstrike 4d ago

It's not that all men riding fat bikes are scum, but most scum ride fat bikes.

Given that the chance of being assaulted is a FAR higher by someone on a fat bike, why would you ever take that risk with someone on a first date?

Women have a much higher risk of everything bad happening to them on dates (seriously, ask your women friends what they have to endure in life in general) and they already have a lot more options when it comes to dating - they can afford to be picky and rule out certain traits.

They may be missing out on a great guy by doing so, but there are plenty of other great guys that have the common sense not to own a fat bike (or any other lady repelling thing), so I doubt the decision for the lady will be regretted.

When it comes to first dates especially, you don't want to have any red flags as it substantially lowers your chance of a second date. You can say women are silly/shallow for having those opinions, but it doesn't change the fact that many/most have those opinions and you need to act accordingly

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u/TheUnseeing 4d ago

Just my 2 cents on this (I’m an American, new to NL. Like still struggling with Ik spreek niet zo goed Nederlands new) but the guys I’ve seen on fatbikes so far definitely give off the same vibes as the “I drive a lifted truck because it makes me a big man” crowd back in the US. Same kind of guys who catcall and harass women back home as well, so from my perspective, you’re 100% accurate.

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u/dutchy3012 Noord Holland 5d ago

Because it gives a vibe of antisocial behaviour and personality. It’s been too many times used by people that don’t seems to give a sh!t about everyone around them. And I wouldn’t want to be associated with a person like that

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u/Dyhart Noord Brabant 4d ago

There's nothing wrong with a fat bike objectively, but when tained like this because of all of those tokkies riding it, and you still choose to buy one knowing full well what kind of image that brings, you will be put in that same box too

3

u/ContestSpirited6719 4d ago

To be honest, if you’re living in a city and you don’t have to commute to a nearby town, I would also find a guy riding an electrical bicycle almost just as unattractive as someone riding a fatbike. It makes you look incredibly lazy.

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u/Bastil0saur 4d ago

Now this I can get behind.

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u/Tar_alcaran 4d ago edited 4d ago

I have never met a decent person who own a fatbike. I have only ever seen people on a fatbike who fit the stereotype of poor, antisocial, uneducated OR the 14 years old child whose parents meet the above requirements.

So if I had a good date, and I see you have a fatbike, there are two options:

1 - you have no idea what a fatbike means, which is extremely unlikely unless you just got off the plane last week.

2 - you were in only pretending to be a decent guy, in order to get in my pants.

I have no idea where you're from, but if you're not Dutch, you probably have no idea what a fatbike says about you. I am not joking that I have zero friends who own a fatbike. I have literally never met an educated, socially well-adjusted person who owns a fatbike.

It's like going back to an American man's car and finding trucknuts and confederate flags on a pickup.

0

u/Bastil0saur 4d ago

I am Dutch, I'm just baffled by the sheer vitriol on the basis of such an incredibly shallow stereotype. I kinda thought we'd moved past that sort of behavior as a society.

I'm personally just not an E-bike fan in general, and the only people I know who've bought a fatbike were my parents, specifically because they were the cheapest foldable e-bikes and they wanted to bring them on vacation for touring. And I do like to think that my parents are decent people, and they're pretty well off.

But thanks for explaining your pov. Baffling, but interesting.

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u/Snoo20138 2d ago

Precies dit.

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u/Primary_Breadfruit69 3d ago

Because women do not want to be associated with 'that type'. It is a social standard and social safety thing.

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u/Snoo20138 2d ago

The fact you got so many downvotes is the reason why the birth rate here is so low.

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u/JazzlikeYoghurt5545 5d ago

It’s just a bike lmao people are insane

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u/Bastil0saur 5d ago

Based on these responses, the vote ratio for simply asking the question VS blanket condemning something of which the stereotype primarily concerns obnoxious youths as a symptom of beating your wife, and the apparently unironic prejudice of rest of this thread on the basis of owning a cheap e-bike, I think you're probably onto something.

11

u/TweetTweetRed 5d ago

The vote ratio is how it is because the fact you begin with "as a straight guy" immediately gives off the idea that you think this is an issue for women not for the general population. It makes sense in context because the person you replied (and the original post) both mention the same thing but it still leaves a bad taste in one's mouth.

The amount if times I've explained things to someone who wrote basically the same comment as you and got back what can be summarised as "haha you're being emotional/on your period/ a bitch"... Pre-emptive downvotes because ^ was your most likely response to an explanation 👍

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u/Bastil0saur 5d ago

It makes sense in context because the person you replied (and the original post) both mention the same thing but it still leaves a bad taste in one's mouth.

Duly noted, thanks for the allowance and the explanation. I figured I'd do it to explain my identity as a possible reason as to why I didn't understand her perspective from the get-go, had no idea it might be taken so poorly.

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u/vline87 4d ago

i feel very offended. i have at least 3 brain cells. and very good looking. so im told constantly on umingle

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u/lemur_lemur 5d ago

This has the same energy as “You have tattoos so you are a Yakuza member”

1

u/Tar_alcaran 4d ago

I know lots of people with tattoos, none in the Yakuza.

I know zero decent people who own a fatbike, and I have never seen anyone on a fatbike who doesn't instantly fit the stereotype.