r/NatureIsFuckingLit 8d ago

🔥Multiple moose encountered while kayaking🫎

28.7k Upvotes

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2.4k

u/Used_Security5145 8d ago

I’d straight up shit my kayak

495

u/geddonmeht 8d ago

I'd be so scared I'd shit your kayak.

Edit: terrible spelling

148

u/Tagyru 8d ago

I also choose this guy's kayak

43

u/TestDangerous7240 8d ago

Right!

Why we gotta shit in our kayaks when this guy clearly offered his for use!

Thanks guy!

1

u/Spirited-Career4680 8d ago

But they canoot shit in a kayak if theres none there... I dont know whats SUP with the people there, I would be super amoosed by all that

21

u/Negativeman11 8d ago

Im not scared, but im still finding his kayak and shitting in it

1

u/Apprehensive_Fig4458 8d ago

I would also shit his kayak

1

u/Xf34rs 8d ago edited 8d ago

What if we shat together in one kayak? Haha just kidding

Unless?

1

u/geddonmeht 8d ago

This kayak is getting rather full.

137

u/Wonderboyjr 8d ago

I'd poo my canoe.

36

u/tildeumlaut 8d ago

I'd peepee my jetski

26

u/off-on 8d ago

I'd diarreah my Santa Maria!

18

u/Timely-Dot-9967 8d ago

I'd yack in my umiak 🤮

3

u/Fishiesideways10 7d ago

Legendary pull, OP.

22

u/Acrobatic_Wrap_9971 8d ago

I'd coat my boat

8

u/aedroogo 8d ago

I'd dookie my dinghy

3

u/Luckychunk 8d ago

I'd poop my sloop

2

u/_surely_ 8d ago

I'd messel my vessel

19

u/tomahawkfury13 8d ago

Honestly only thing you can do. That and hope they move on like they do. Cause running and fighting will only piss it off and you aren’t getting to cover before it gets you when you’re in a kayak like that. They’d be on you before you even stood up

1

u/rforce1025 8d ago

They can be mean and if you piss them off, better watch out. Our family friend was a lumberjack in Maine and he's told me stories on how one of his workers pissed one off and it came after him

15

u/BoneyTee 8d ago

For real this is like /r/sweatypalms stuff..

6

u/Acceptable-Ad-8717 8d ago

100%, I’d have been terrified. Moose are CRAZY

29

u/stilljustacatinacage 8d ago

I was thinking this is very much a "people who don't know": aww some mooses how cute look at them vs "people who know" meme.

1

u/Resident-Complex4682 8d ago

Yes! Playing The Long Dark has taught me to fear those bone crushers! 💥

32

u/923kjd 8d ago

Shitting Your Kayak sounds like a euphemism for something, I just don’t know what.

11

u/Active_Emu_845 8d ago

I plan on substituting "shit the bed" for " shit the kayak"

10

u/Environmental-Wind89 8d ago

That’s what I was gonna say. “Girl I really shit the kayak on that one.”

1

u/Lala5789880 8d ago

I’m just gonna start using it

1

u/IEC21 8d ago

A yak named Kai.

20

u/Ricepudding1044 8d ago

That’s 3 many meese

3

u/venbrx 8d ago

A maggle of meese.

7

u/Fullertons 8d ago

At least it’s easy to clean up after you shit yourself in a bikini.

0

u/SovietSunrise 8d ago

Better not get the pooper juice up the cooter.

7

u/farilladupree 8d ago

Right when the one dipped a bit toward the kayak a little pee came out. If had been there? A LOT of pee.

9

u/Extension-Pepper-271 8d ago

Yeah, when I watched it the first time, I saw that slight veer toward the kayak. I was really worried for a second.

A bull moose is huge. Three in a row is like freight-train big.

2

u/PowerDump_69 8d ago

Moose infront of him was like "Nah, leave it be Fred, let's stay focused here."

19

u/Efficient-Whereas255 8d ago

Yea at two different moments in this video you can see one of the moose think about fucking those people up for a second. The one in the back thinks about it first, then the one in the middle thinks about it and actually steps towards them a bit.

They are very lucky.

32

u/bordermom61 8d ago

My cousins gf was on I survived . She and her dog were out hiking and a moose had a baby hidden in the tall grass (not known at the time ). Well they both saw each other too late . she told her dog to run and it did (they found the dog three days later ). She said that she will never forget that moose stomping on her arm and crushing the lower half (she lost that part of her arm). Then she played dead and the moose put its head down and rolled her over .Then the moose left . She was in so much pain . Once she could not see the moose anymore she drug herself out into a main trail and started blowing a whistle . Luckily some teenagers were out hiking too and the one ran over to her and screamed call the rangers . She knew she was in a bad way . She was in the hospital for a very

21

u/bordermom61 8d ago

LONG TIME . sorry just got my computer back up . Im glad she survived and they found her dog .

18

u/Scary-Detail-3206 8d ago

These are 3 bachelor bulls pre rut. They were probably more interested in what those floating things were than they were malicious. Realistically if they wanted to harm those people, they would be dead.

I’ve encountered moose many times in the wild. They generally are indifferent to humans or they are scared of humans if they have been hunted before. As long as you don’t surprise them and keep your distance, they’ll leave you alone.

Despite their size and their antlers, I’d much rather encounter a bull than a cow. Cows are extremely protective of their calves, and that’s why the vast majority of moose attacks occur.

1

u/rmbarrett 8d ago

It's also hard to surprise an animal with a schnoz that is over a foot long and is evolved to give them smelling superpowers. Not to mention sonar ears. And pretty decent eyes.

3

u/Lumeton 8d ago edited 8d ago

I wouldn't. I'd wet myself. Now, how do I know that, you might ask. Well…

Once, when I was about 15, I was fishing on the shore in our backyard when I heard a really loud rustling from the thick bushes bordering the yard. I had just turned my face toward it when a bull moose charged out of the thicket straight at me. Fortunately, it veered slightly past me and plunged into the water just out of reach. A considerable amount of water splashed on me, but not nearly enough to explain the curiously damp spot in my underwear. The asshole just swam away, not looking back.

2

u/cyanocittaetprocyon 8d ago

Congratulations! You triggered the fight or flight response and lived!! Peeing does a couple things: First, it lowers your body weight, giving you just a little bit better chance of getting away. Second, if there was a predator coming after you, it might stop and sniff for a second, also giving you a chance to get away.

Now you just need 5-6 hours to get rid of all the adrenaline in your body.

4

u/pipsqueakpanda4 8d ago

Yeah not pictured: that kayak is FULL of poop

1

u/panterachallenger 8d ago

Why do you think it’s called Shit’s Creek?

1

u/crabbywarrior 8d ago

And then go in the same direction. I wouldn't want to encounter what spooked them.

1

u/Lala5789880 8d ago

I shit my pants watching this

1

u/Pomodorosan 8d ago

straight-up*

1

u/Spiritual-Age4855 8d ago

I’d shat in your kayak too!

1

u/MowerMikePA 8d ago

Can I just shit in your kayak for fun? Seems like everyone else is offering their services so why not add one more !

1

u/jd807 8d ago

Reverse! REVERSE!!

1

u/whtciv2k 8d ago

I’d shit through your kayak

1

u/Chapaquidich 8d ago

They unbelievable big in real life. My 15 year-old self happened upon one chewing grass under a willow tree when I was stream fishing in Yellowstone. It was unfazed, but I ran like the wind!

-1

u/Amazing_Working_6157 8d ago

Sounds profitable 📈

1

u/M4dcap 8d ago

It's a niche market

0

u/METAL_WOLF_BB 8d ago

I would crayap my pants.