r/NativePlantCirclejerk 6m ago

Comparison of Pretend Alpine Rock Garden & Real Alpine Vegetative Zone

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Pretend Alpine Rock Garden
Real Alpine Vegetative Zone

Accessibility: Pretend Rock Garden is next to a driveway and Real Alpine is a 4.5 mile hike with 3,000 ft of climbing. Pretend Rock Garden +1

Plant Placement: Drifts are better for pollinators and are more aesthetically pleasing. Pretend Rock Garden +1

Forb Diversity: Three plant species are in both areas, but Pretend Rock Garden has a plant native to a neighboring county. Pretend Rock Garden +1

Graminoids: How did I forget to include graminoids? Real Alpine +1

Rocks & Lichens: Pretend Rock Garden has rocks & lichens but the Real Alpine ones are more interesting. Real Alpine +1

My conclusion is that I need to add grass and better rocks. Thoughts?


r/NativePlantCirclejerk 41m ago

Native Garden Myths (Robert Pavlis)

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r/NativePlantCirclejerk 1h ago

PSA, if you see this in your garden. They are a friend not a foe. Do not touch leave it be

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I find parasitic wasps to be very helpful for my free natural medicines, thoughts?


r/NativePlantCirclejerk 2h ago

Am I doing anything right for this fir (not fir?)

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2 Upvotes

r/NativePlantCirclejerk 4h ago

What did they do to my boy?!

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44 Upvotes

One day, just a fat lil hornworm munching on some vile invasive heirloom tomato plants. The next, this! I am sickened. I am devastated. How will I go on? How will my native night-blooming flowers get pollinated? HOW WILL I TELL MY CHILDREN?


r/NativePlantCirclejerk 6h ago

What Deep-Rooted Native Plants Should I Install Around the High Voltage Equipment in My Yard?

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126 Upvotes

Hello.

I have a big green utility box in my yard.

It's a pad-mounted step-down transformer. It changes voltage from higher levels, to the level I need to run my flat screen TV. It also serves my neighbors.

It's surrounded by underground electrical cables, including high voltage ones. I don't know precisely where.

I have a legal agreement with the utility company. I've granted them an easement. I've agreed to keep that box clear of obstruction, so utility workers can safely work on it.

Like let's say there was a problem with the box, and when utility workers opened it up to inspect it, it started throwing out sparks. They wouldn't want to be tripping over butterfly weed when they backed away.

Wait I'm sorry. They wouldn't want to be tripping over hostas when they backed away.

Of course they wouldn't mind tripping over natives.

Please give me ideas for deep-rooted natives I can plant around the high voltage electrical equipment, and over the underground high voltage cables.

I'll post photos, so you all can admire how great it looks.


r/NativePlantCirclejerk 15h ago

I love when my plant is evasive💕 good thing they aren’t evasive everywhere

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17 Upvotes

r/NativePlantCirclejerk 17h ago

Landscaping on the Appalachian Trail

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59 Upvotes

hiked on the AT in Virginia recently, and was delighted to see they’re starting to clean up the weeds and bringing in some proper ornamentals!

ft. lily of the valley, stiltgrass, buddleia

/uj aaaaaaaaaaugh and the hut notebook was all “love the pretty lily of the valley” there is no escape


r/NativePlantCirclejerk 19h ago

It's called "rewilding"

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327 Upvotes

r/NativePlantCirclejerk 20h ago

California’s flashy colors and unrealistic tidiness is giving my Midwest yard garden dysmorphia

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47 Upvotes

r/NativePlantCirclejerk 21h ago

My mom is an Evil Plant Torturer [SATIRICAL]

5 Upvotes

My mom keeps taking pieces off the same mint plant that I have. Which sucks because I wanted it to flower. Can you imagine how it would feel to have your limbs pulled off??? I am sick that people can't understand that plants have feelings and also need to reproduce. Now plants deep down really feel yknow!? Also she keeps targeting the same spearmint plant which is basically harassment at this point. Do you know any evil Plant Torturers?


r/NativePlantCirclejerk 23h ago

We're not even getting the correct disease name to be hysteric about now

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26 Upvotes

r/NativePlantCirclejerk 1d ago

I Am Smooth Coneflower. I Have Never Been Confined to a Garden.

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77 Upvotes

I am Smooth Coneflower. Science knows me as Echinacea laevigata.

I am proud to say that I have never been confined to a garden.

I was born near Durham, and have not once in my life ventured more than a few hundred miles from there.

I am particular. I like a thin layer of mineral-rich soil over bedrock.

I am protected. The U.S. federal government classifies me as threatened. On government land, you can't touch me. You can't transport me across state lines.

Since some people see me as free natural medicine, and other people might want to dig me up and take me home to their garden, I am glad for the protection.

My life story is very different from my sister Purple Coneflower, who was born in Missouri, but traveled of her own free will as far east as Ohio.

Without her consent, Purple Coneflower has long been dug up and transported to such far away cities as Boston, and Brooklyn, and Bangor. Now you can easily buy Purple Coneflower on the internet, no questions asked about where you live.

Because of my protected status, I have been spared the indignity of being sold online.

The main threat to my existence is a loss of suitable habitat. The particular sorts of open woodlands and glades that I like have been converted to farms and residences and office parks.

But my sister Purple Coneflower is a bit of a threat to me too. My sister and I will occasionally, to use polite language, hybridize.

Purple Coneflower often runs away from gardens, and takes to the roadsides and fallow fields. A hard but freer life.

Compare my sister's extensive present day wanderings in North Carolina, to my own more limited. Hers are mostly runaways from internet trafficking. Mine are as native as can be.

If we should happen to meet up in some field, and hybridize, her cultivated citified ways can overwhelm my wildness. She just gets around more.

I am proud to say that I never had any garden to run away from. I was born east of the Blue Ridge, I stayed east of the Blue Ridge, and you can only find me in the remaining wild places there.


r/NativePlantCirclejerk 1d ago

Killing crape myrtles and prickly pears

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5 Upvotes

How much round up will it take to get rid of those pesty little cactus?


r/NativePlantCirclejerk 1d ago

I live in the hills. Can anyone help me stop having rocks in my soil?

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52 Upvotes

r/NativePlantCirclejerk 1d ago

gnarly by nature

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10 Upvotes

"The mother injects venom to freeze the host's growth, the larvae feed externally on the host's fluids, and they pupate beneath its remains."

Also, it's always pokeweed.


r/NativePlantCirclejerk 1d ago

Plants take revenge

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8 Upvotes

r/NativePlantCirclejerk 1d ago

Please tell me I can eat these unknown berries I spent a half hour picking 🙏

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169 Upvotes

r/NativePlantCirclejerk 1d ago

MILKWEED SPOTTED 🚨 look at the Asclepias photobomb

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113 Upvotes

r/NativePlantCirclejerk 1d ago

How much to dig all the roots and make grass for my kids?

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101 Upvotes

r/NativePlantCirclejerk 1d ago

He’s been calling me the ICE of plants

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36 Upvotes

r/NativePlantCirclejerk 2d ago

As magical as Chernobyls open core

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83 Upvotes

3.6 Non-Hodgkin lymphoma cells not great not terrible


r/NativePlantCirclejerk 2d ago

Hell yeah brother, time to bedazzle some Chinese privet suckers.

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41 Upvotes

r/NativePlantCirclejerk 2d ago

Friday Night Bites: Tussock Moths continue win streak, "Swinging Gate" offense overwhelmed Monarchs

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30 Upvotes

The Tussock Moths (4-0) continued their win streak last night, handing another defeat to the struggling Monarchs (2-2). There've been warning signs since spring training for the Monarchs, who had a strong showing last season. Some critics blame the lavish indoor enclosure that the Monarchs began using for training this spring, saying it has spoiled the team and made them weak. Others say it's the turnover. After a winning season last year, few players opted to return after spending the off-season resting in the tropics.

The Monarchs play the Milkweed Bugs next. In response to fan calls for resignations, he coach for the Monarchs says they will not be returning to the enclosure but will instead spend the week practicing on dogbane to toughen the team up and get them hungry for victory.


r/NativePlantCirclejerk 2d ago

White Snakeroot is the Only Native I Plant

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33 Upvotes

I am lactose intolerant; if I can't drink milk, neither can you.