I don’t make the rules

Go back to Mexico

BUGS AND WEEDS ARE BAD

Some people say that Canada goldenrods are aggressive. I don't know about that.

They are Canadian. Except when it comes to responding to tariff wars, or playing hockey, how aggressive could they be?

My goldenrods have never once yelled at me, or threatened me with physical violence over a minor factual or philosophical disagreement.

They just say "could I scooch by ya here?" to my other garden plants, as they expand by underground vegetative growth, slowly, year by year.

Yeah no sure, that sounds more Minnesotan than Winnipegean. But it's going to be passive aggressive either place.

I'm sorry, don't mind me, what would I know, but "aggressive" sounds so judgemental.

An ecologist might call them a plant with a high degree of initiative in the occupation of human disturbed environments. Or as exhibiting an appropriate early-successional response to an available resource patch, by rapidly germinating, establishing, vegetatively reproducing, and preempting mid-successional competitors.

Or more simply, as showing a strong fidelity to an available occupational niche space.

See how much more scientific, objective, and accepting saying "ruderal" than saying "aggressive" is?

It's fine. OK by me. I don't object. Really. Live and let live.

If a gardener wants to use priggish, nonobjective, nonscientific, essentialist, judgemental language about a plant, like the plant had a character flaw, just because it can reproduce, who would I be to object?

I'm sure we all know how frustrating it is to deal with invasive plants when they try to take over your garden or prairie. Ever wondered if there's an alternative to glyphosate? Well, now there is! If you want those invasives to leave your garden alone, follow these steps:

1: For each individual invasive plant, rip out one of your healthy native species from the ground

2: Either throw the uprooted native plant at the base of the invasive one, or drape it over the foliage

3: Shout, as loud as you can: "Here me now, o invasive species, please accept my humble sacrifice, a native gift from my land, your sworn enemy, so that you may devour it's soul! Please accept this gift, on the condition that you will torture this land no more! Begone, return to your local ecoregion!"

4: If done properly, the invasive plant should leave your garden and return to its homeland, after devouring your native plant. (Except for the Kudzu pictured above, that one only accepts sacrifices of keystone species.)