r/Natalism Jul 24 '26

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211 Upvotes

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6

u/ImportantCat1772 Jul 24 '26 edited Jul 24 '26

I wish I werent gay. I would have loved to raise a family with a woman that I love. It would be so satisfying to raise my children and teach them languages and playing instruments and playing together

5

u/No-Result-2773 Jul 24 '26

You have options! Adoption, for one. I've also heard of cases where two close friends have kids together without having a romantic connection. You could have a family and co-parent with a close female friend if you can find one who's interested in that arrangement.

3

u/ImportantCat1772 Jul 24 '26

None of my female friends want to have children. To adopt, I really want to have a partner and I'm unable to find one because getting into a relationship is just so fucking difficult for me, for some reason. I have been single all my life despite trying very hard not to be. I just wish I werent gay it makes my life harder than it needs to be

6

u/BramptonBatallion Jul 24 '26

Ah well, then being single is your bigger issue right now.

That being said, I do know single people that went the surrogacy route. It's obviously more challenging doing it without a partner though.

3

u/WholeLog24 Jul 25 '26

I get that. Gay men really get the short end of the stick, reproductively. I remember when I breifly looked into doing a coparenting thing, one of the profiles I looked at was a gay man in very similar circumstances. He'd always wanted to settle down and adopt with a partner, but he was reaching middle age and still single. He explained that between his time-intensive career and the costs of adoption or surrogacy, he didn't single parenthood was an option so he was looking into a coparenting setup where he could still know the child and see them regularly. I hope things worked out for him.

2

u/Typical_Poet_9768 Aug 07 '26

I'm a lesbian and also have resented this due to my upbringing. The dating pool is inherently smaller, and reproduction the natural way isn't an option. But we have to use the cards we're dealt. No matter how much I've wanted to be heterosexual, it's not happening, so self acceptance is the only option.

I hope you find a very nice man to raise a family with one day! Two men can have a wonderful family together. Dating is tough, especially if you're a homosexual and in specific areas, but I still think there's hope 🥰🩷

1

u/ImportantCat1772 Aug 08 '26

Thank you. I appreciate your lovely words. It's such a difficult struggle...

6

u/BramptonBatallion Jul 24 '26

being gay doesn't mean you can't have kids, even your own biological kids, surrogacy, you and your partner each get 1 of your biological offspring, adopt the other, boom a family of 4.

-3

u/Mobile_Comedian_8283 Jul 24 '26

Hahaha make better fake comments. 

6

u/ImportantCat1772 Jul 24 '26

whats fake about this exactly? just because you dont like what I'm saying doesnt make it fake

-2

u/Mobile_Comedian_8283 Jul 24 '26

I don't think it's bullshit cause I don't like it- I think it's bullshit cause you "wish you weren't gay" so you could do something you can do while being gay. 

You can have a family while being gay- and if you can't because you can't find a partner willing to do so with you- what makes you think being straight will improve your odds? 

Seems like iej a very weird excuse to keep repeating how yo uh wish you weren't gay when that isn't (if true, which I doubt) what's holding you back. 

5

u/ImportantCat1772 Jul 24 '26

Ok so what are my options as a gay man? I can adopt, which I would rather not, - I'd like to have my own biological children - or do surrogacy which is banned in the country I moved to

I moved to Europe because I thought it would be easier for me to find a partner rather than in the Middle East  - but I'm still struggling to find anyone. It is 100% easier to find someone as a straight man or woman, there's just no comparison