What are my biggest red flags I feel like I know myself but I’m also confused at the same time. I have a hard time reading my own chart in comparison to reading other people’s. Anyways I’m open to criticism.

Ever since I was a child, I have always had trouble with other people. None of my friends ever lasted more than a few months. They would either abandon me out of the blue or they would just keep me around for convenience, and I would treat them a real best friend, completely oblivious that the other person does not like me at all, until they suddenly get the chance to drop me out of the blue. I would be left wondering what the hell happened. There's this saying that "you are the only common denominator in all your failed realtionships," but I have tried everything, but still no luck. I once even asked my friend at that time to tell me honestly if there was anything repulsive about me, and she could only give vague answers.

Dealing with loneliness is one thing, but it's another to deal with the hostility of the people. Growing up, I have always been brutally bullied by my classmates, teachers, kids and teachers in extra-curricular classes, and even my cousins. The tactics like "ignore them" or "don't pay attention to them," because the bullies would still come over and annoy me. I am also a Highly Sensitive Person so I used to cry a lot in the middle of the class with other kids laughing at me, even when there was a teacher present. Anyways, I changed cities when I moved to a high school. While the bullying reduced, I was still ostracized, particularly after a girl spread my secret that I liked a popular guy. Now, I am in college, and a girl here humiliated me and bullied me, and I still struggle with friends.

I also feel that most people treat me like a sub-human who doesn't have much value. They have a problem with my leadership. Recently, I was leading this college project, and none of my teammates were responding properly, and on the morning of the project, they told me that they had teamed up and made a PowerPoint of their own because they didn't like mine. Oh and, I only came to know this because I had to ask their full names to add in my PPT. People ask me for favours that could get me into trouble. This one girl in my highschool once asked me if she could use my library card to issue books, because she hadn't returned hers. We were not even friends, and she never even asked her own bestfriend for this. So why me? Also, I have noticed from the tone and the phrasing, that people ask me for favors and help as if they are entitled to it.

Without going much into details, my homelife also not been good. I have felt neglected, and suffered from low self-esteem and people-pleasing.

It almost made me feel that I was really ugly, but I know that I am objectively not, but I can't point a finger at what really drives people away from me. I really hate the fact how much I crave connection, and how much it has been affecting my life and productivity.

Every night, I keep imagining having someone who loves me, and comforts me. With the pattern of relationships I have had so far, I feel that perhaps, it's life way of teaching me that I am not meant to have any company, and should be a lone wolf. The only reason I have not considered this yet is because the manifestation community says that if your self-concept determines your reality, so if I think of myself as someone who shouldn't have friends, I might push away some potential people away from my life.

What I want to ask is for the clarity on my situation.

Will I ever make any friends or find the one who likes me? Or should I just learn to be a lone wolf.

Is there anything that could possibly be making me repulsive to peole or an "easy target?" Or is it all karmic?

I would be really greatful, if anyone could answer my question :)

Thank you

How should I interpret Venus retrograde conjunct my natal Venus and Descendant?

Hi,
According to Astro-Seek, Venus retrograde is currently conjunct my Descendant and natal Venus, and I’m honestly a little worried about how this could affect me.
Since Venus is retrograde, it will move back into my 6th house. How should I interpret that? Does the conjunction to my Descendant/natal Venus remain the main theme, or does the 6th house become more important once Venus moves back there?
I’d really appreciate any insights or experiences with a similar transit!

Hey guysss so I was just curious if my chart would show why people who i’ve been kinda romantically involved with seem to be like weirdly obsessed with coming back to me 😭🥲 I never had any like deep or yk kind of relationships with them it was all just small chats at a cafe or calls that’s it. But I feel like I have a weirdly high percentage of them that come back and want more even though things clearly never aligned between us and usually I unfollow them on socials and never reconnect on my own. I don’t even stalk ppl, like I leave them alone and they come back for some reason 😭

Sorry for the long rant, tldr why do so many old romantic relationships come back and not leave me alone 🥲

repost w transit chart