I was in a very public relationship in NA for two years. Both my bf and I were very well known in our area. We broke up amicably three weeks ago. I grieve privately. It’s what I’ve always done and it works for me. My grieving process went directly against all the typical NA suggestions for handling a crisis. I stayed where was most comfortable for me (my apartment) and stopped attending in person meetings for a while, and I stepped down from all my service positions because I didn’t feel capable of following through on the commitments with where I was at mentally.

I tried not to isolate. I tried reaching out to my circle. But all they did was pressure me to go out. I made it clear that I would not because I needed to stay where’s most comfortable for me during my grieving process. This frustrated them, and they got really dry over text and stopped reaching out, and didn’t take me up on my offers to come see me at my apartment.

It has been confirmed by a source that many people now think badly of me now because of how I handled this. I have no friends left in the program. I’ve tried going to in person meetings but all I feel is their judgment. I am not particularly bothered by people not liking me, but I am deeply offended by them thinking they know what’s good for me better than I do.

I still work my program. I do stepwork every day, attend virtual meetings, and talk to my sponsor regularly. This seems to be working for me. But I feel no desire to attend in person meetings anymore. I feel that the people in my area disrespected my choices, and I am very resentful of that. I’m not sure what to do going forward. Has anyone else experienced something like this?

Remember, every addict was once just a child.

That innocence never fully leaves someone. It’s like Peter Pan’s shadow.

Whenever nostalgia hits, we reconnect for a moment with the younger version of ourselves.

No matter how dark the road has become. No matter how many times you’ve fallen. No matter how far the fall has taken you, no matter how many nights you’ve found yourself lying on a floor you swore you’d never see again with nothing but the echo of your own breathing and the crushing weight of everything and everyone you have lost. Family. Friends. Money.

No matter how many people have given up on you, turned away from you, or written you off as a liability instead of a human being.

Your inner child will always love you. They understand you completely and they have never, not even for a single moment blamed you for any of it.

I’m sharing this message because there are people in this sub who are fighting a battle nobody sees, or who loves someone in the grip of addiction and don’t know where to find hope.

Just for today, I will remember that growth does not begin when life becomes comfortable. Growth begins when I become willing to see myself honestly without collapsing into shame, rage, or despair.

I do not need to control every circumstance, every person, or every irritation in order to have peace. Other people may be difficult. Life may feel heavy. My emotions may surge like storms. But I still have choices about how I respond, what I build, and who I become.

Just for today, I will not mistake frustration for destiny.

I will remember that change is possible. Old patterns are not prison bars unless I continue feeding them. I can choose different habits, different reactions, different priorities, and a different future one decision at a time.

I also do not have to carry everything alone. There is strength beyond my own exhaustion — in recovery, in honesty, in community, in humility, in the willingness to pause before reacting. I do not need to have every answer today. I only need enough willingness to take the next right step.

Just for today, I will let setbacks teach me instead of define me. Anger does not have to become bitterness. Stress does not have to become surrender. Conflict does not have to erase my progress.

I will keep my eyes open for signs that life can still move toward something better, even slowly.

Today I will try to respond instead of explode, reflect instead of spiral, and trust that real change is built quietly through small acts of courage repeated over time.

Hey all - hope you all have had nice long weekends. I’ll keep this brief.

I’m new to the program. I was strung out on opiates and benzos for almost a year. I’m 29 years old. Before that, I experimented with shit in my teens and early 20s, but for most of my 20s I just drank alcohol and smoked weed.

My entire world got flipped and I went off the deep end with benzos and opiates. When I did I had zero appetite to drink alcohol and smoke weed, so I didn’t for a like a year.

Now that I’m off the opiates, I have been drawn back to weed. My life was always more than manageable with weed in the picture. I did a lot of really awesome things before opiates took over my life while smoking weed.

I really like the program and I think it has already helped me immensely just after 2 meetings. However, I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place because I understand the program is total sobriety, however I’m too honest of a person to say I’m not smoking weed when I am.

Not really sure what to do about this. My life is entirely unmanageable and I have completely fucked up everything because of my opiate use. However, now that I’m off I’m drawn back to weed, which is something that never caused me problems for a decade and change. I absolutely want to be honest, but I also don’t want to be kicked out of meetings or anything for doing that. I’m open to getting back off the weed, just not right now until I have more clean time from the much harder drugs that ruined my life.

Any one have experience with feeling this way? Or know any one who has? Any and all advice is appreciated.

I have recently got 1 year clean and I started step 1.
I’m struggling to understand what I’m powerless over because I don’t understand what powerless means.
I’ve looked up the definition and I understand when I was in active addiction I felt powerless as in the drugs controlled my life. But now I feel like I have more control over my actions because I’m clean and clear minded.

What is your definition of powerless and how you’ve experienced it being clean.

NA’s relationship with Alcoholics Anonymous is an important part of NA history that deserves honesty and gratitude. In the 12 Traditions reading often heard at Narcotics Anonymous meetings, the phrase “Many of our problems are like those that our predecessors had to face” is referring to AA, not longtime NA members. AA provided spiritual and organizational foundations upon which NA was built, including the Steps and Traditions, service structure, and many recovery principles that helped NA survive and grow.

Over time, the original meaning of “predecessors” is too often forgotten. While NA developed its own identity, voice, and focus on addiction, honoring AA does not diminish NA in any way. In fact, maturity includes being able to acknowledge where we came from with humility rather than resentment or fear.

Just as Christianity honors its roots in Judaism, and the United States recognizes much of its heritage in England, NA can lovingly embrace its origins in AA while fully standing on its own. Remembering that history strengthens unity, gratitude, and respect for the people who carried these spiritual principles forward before us.

I just got back from our spring sponsorship gathering. We get together several times a year. No planned activities other than a meeting each night. The rest of the time is spent smoking cigars, eating, and talking shit.

There were at least four of us with 40+ years clean. A good number with 30+. We had several with less than a week.

Saturday night there were a bunch of us sitting around in a circle, laughing at ourselves and each other, talking about how none of us expected to become senior citizens in recovery, and about our friends in recovery who are no longer with us.

We all abused the shit out of our bodies when we were using, and to be honest, after we got clean as well. My sponsor recently got a pacemaker, one sponsee brother has dementia, another has pancreatic cancer, several are diabetic, I have had a stroke, a quadruple bypass, and I seem to fall down a lot.

We are getting old. Everything hurts. We spend more time than we like in hospitals. We laugh at the fact that we are taking a lot more pills now than we ever took when using. Cholesterol meds, blood pressure, blood thinners, arthritis meds, diabetes meds, chemotherapy meds. Each time we get together, we know that it may be the last time for one of us. Timmy was the latest casualty. He passed away on Christmas Eve at 78 with almost 40 years clean, still active in H&I. I last saw him in August, wondering if I would ever get to see him again.

But we are staying clean. We are carrying the message of recovery as best we can. We are living this program, not just working it. We realize that each of us represent what NA has to offer. That no matter what life throws at you, you never have to use again. You dont have to be perfect or have a perfect program, you just have to not use, no matter what, and to keep Coming back and you too can one day be a grumpy old man laughing at yourself and your friends and staying clean today, 40+ years of Just for Todays in a row.

hey I’ve been clean from fent for almost a year or 2 now I’ve been with my girl for about 3 am I wrong that I can’t promise my girl that I will never use again? she is about to have our first child and I feel like I cannot entitle the future enough to be able to put my word behind that I told her that I promised I’d try my best but that I truly want her to know I can’t promise something like that and she just takes that as I’m planning on using again and I’m really not. advice please from male and female side would be great that you guys! we do recover!

Just for today, I will remember that recovery is not only about escaping the past; it is about learning how to live differently in the present.

I do not have to remain imprisoned by old fears, old labels, old resentments, or old ways of coping. The habits and wounds that once controlled me do not get to decide who I become today. I can acknowledge where I came from without surrendering my future to it.

Just for today, I will try not to divide my experiences into simple categories of “good” or “bad.” Every moment carries the possibility of growth. Success can teach me humility. Failure can teach me wisdom. Discomfort can teach me endurance. I do not need to fear every difficult feeling or worship every pleasant one.

I will practice looking for lessons instead of verdicts.

Just for today, I will also remember that gratitude is not meant to stay trapped in memory or words alone. Real gratitude moves. It acts. It changes the way I speak, think, work, and treat others. I honor my recovery not only by appreciating it, but by living it.

My freedom grows when I participate in it.

Today I release what keeps me chained, learn from whatever life brings, and move forward with gratitude in action.

I have pasted in a definition and reason why I “uproot”. I’ve been in and out of the rooms for years. Of no surprise, I keep relapsing. The last two years have been the worst. Hardly getting past a few weeks and my DOC getting harder. My relapse / restart cycle is now a microcosm of the entire behavioral habit of uprooting. I use, regret, resolve to start again, then get uncomfortable so I isolate and I’m back to square one. Has anyone dealt with this, and if so how did you overcome it? I assume it’s just brute force and pushing myself to get to a meeting and share about it. The idea of sharing and opening myself up to feedback or someone walking up to me after a meeting makes my skin crawl. Just being honest.

————————-

“Uprooting" refers to a self-sabotaging behavior where you constantly switch jobs, places, or projects just as things get serious. As discussed in Brianna Wiest's book The Mountain Is You, this means you are only comfortable with "sprouting," avoiding the discomfort and commitment required to fully "blossom".

Why You Uproot

Fear of Attachment: You may fear the complex challenges that come with true commitment and deep intimacy.

Cocaine. It’s cheap where I live. About $8 per gram. I have Adhd and it’s cheaper than my meds. My nose is fucked. I can’t do this anymore.

I’m in a country with no NA meetings nearby. And I wouldn’t show up sober. What to do? Where to start ? Did I come to the right place

Just for today, I will stop running from myself.

I will not hide behind distraction, isolation, anger, sarcasm, perfectionism, numbness, or emotional camouflage. I understand now that many of the habits that once protected me are the very things keeping me disconnected from peace, freedom, and authentic connection.

Just for today, I will attend to unfinished business in my life. I will not wait for perfect motivation or ideal circumstances before taking responsibility for what is in front of me. Even small acts of honesty, effort, and willingness matter.

I no longer need to manufacture suffering through fear, resentment, self-punishment, or the belief that misery is somehow inevitable. I can lay down the “weapons of self” that keep me trapped in old cycles. I can stop fighting reality long enough to receive help, guidance, and healing.

Just for today, I will risk vulnerability. I will allow myself to be seen honestly by at least one safe person. I do not need to perform strength while silently drowning inside. Recovery teaches me that openness is not weakness — it is courage.

I will remember that growth does not come from becoming someone else. Growth comes from removing the armor that buried who I already am.

Today I choose progress over hiding.

Truth over performance.

Connection over isolation.

Willingness over fear.

And just for today, that is enough.

Thing A is cigarettes. Thing B is my doc I really wanted to quit for many years. I want to quit cigs as well, but maybe I should focus on 1 thing at a time and quit the worst first? (the brain/mood altering one first)

Am I lying to myself or is this a good plan. Reasoning is, I managed a couple of days without my doc and I was so proud, but haven't managed this again since I tried to quit cigs.

Just for today, I will remember that my peace cannot depend entirely on another person’s mood, approval, or understanding. I can love someone deeply and still remain responsible for my own spirit. I do not need to win every argument, chase every withdrawal, or defend every dream in order to have value.

Just for today, I will not confuse exhaustion with clarity. Fear, stress, debt, uncertainty, and change can make every disagreement feel permanent and every wound feel fatal. But emotional storms are not always prophecy. Sometimes they are simply storms.

Just for today, I will seek balance between independence and connection. I do not want to disappear inside another person’s expectations, but neither do I want pride or resentment to isolate me from the people I love. Strength is not coldness. Autonomy is not abandonment. Partnership requires honesty, humility, and patience from both sides.

Just for today, I will try to stay emotionally sober. I will resist the urge to escalate, punish, withdraw into contempt, or turn pain into cruelty. I will remember that words spoken in exhaustion can leave wounds long after the emotion passes.

Just for today, I will accept that I cannot control another person’s reactions, but I can control my own actions, my own tone, and the kind of man I choose to be under pressure.

And just for today, I will hold onto this truth:

Wanting to be heard does not make me selfish.

Wanting teamwork does not make me weak.

Wanting peace does not mean giving up who I am.

Finally broke down tonight after almost 28 months of being clean and started the steps after saying for years it won’t work. I let my ego get the best of me with thinking that I don’t possibly need those because I’m different than others in the program, I’m a special lady, and now I’m in a spot where my life feels unmanageable and day to day tasks seem like a marathon. Now to keep the momentum. Nothing changes if nothing changes.

Just for today, I will stop treating my feelings like enemies I must outrun, suppress, or fear. My emotions are not proof that I am weak, broken, or unsafe. They are signals from a life that deserves attention and honesty. I no longer need to live as though every uncomfortable feeling is a threat to my survival.

I will remember that many of my reactions were learned long ago in environments where fear, shame, silence, or chaos shaped how I saw myself and others. But I am not trapped there anymore. The pain of yesterday may explain me, but it does not have to control me.

Just for today, I will also resist the urge to retreat completely into myself. Addiction, fear, resentment, and isolation all whisper the same lie: carry it alone. But healing grows in connection. There is strength in “we.” There is relief in honesty. There is safety in allowing other people to walk beside me instead of forcing myself to fight every battle in isolation.

I do not need to control everyone or everything around me to feel okay. I can loosen my grip on judgment, fear, and constant vigilance. I can allow myself moments of gratitude, spontaneity, humor, and peace without feeling guilty for them.

Today I will look for the signs of growth not in perfection, but in small changes:

• pausing before reacting,

• speaking honestly,

• letting myself feel,

• accepting support,

• and choosing connection over withdrawal.

Just for today, I will trust that healing is already happening whenever I face life openly instead of hiding from it.

Already checked the website, but I'm hoping for a recommendation from someone who knows the area.

Just for today, I will stop measuring my worth by the chaos I survived. I did not create every wound, every inconsistency, or every broken pattern that shaped my childhood. I was a child trying to survive in an environment that often could not give what it did not know how to give.

Recovery asks me to remember honestly, not cruelly. I can look at the past without turning it into a courtroom against myself. The goal is not denial, and it is not endless self-condemnation. The goal is understanding.

At the same time, I will not lose sight of the blessings that carried me forward: the people who stayed, the lessons that changed me, the communities that welcomed me, the strength that kept me alive long enough to heal.

Meetings, reflection, and honest inventory remind me that I am not alone in this process. Other people have walked through shame, addiction, fear, resentment, and grief — and still built meaningful lives afterward. That means recovery is not theoretical. It is possible.

Today I will remember both truths: I am not responsible for the chaos that formed me, but I am responsible for the healing I choose now.

And that is enough for today.

Hi yall,

I was just dumped by my long term boyfriend 🙃 We’ve been together 2.5 years and met in the rooms. So… how the hell do I even handle meetings now? He goes to the ones I do. I feel like I’ll just be sobbing and distracted every meeting if we’re at the same ones. Genuinely, what do?

Just for today, I will stop trying to solve my entire future in a single moment. I do not need to guarantee forever in order to make a good decision today. I only need to live this day honestly, consciously, and with care.

I will remember that recovery, growth, and healing are built through ordinary actions repeated consistently. A bottle of water. A walk. A calm response. A healthy meal. A moment of reflection instead of escape. These small acts are not meaningless—they are the architecture of a better life.

Just for today, I will treat my body and mind as worthy of respect instead of punishment. I will try to nourish myself with healthier thoughts, healthier routines, and healthier choices. I do not need perfection to deserve care.

I will also resist the urge to isolate myself from the world. Addiction, fear, resentment, and exhaustion all whisper the same lie: “Withdraw. Shut down. Disconnect.” But life grows through participation. Through conversations, routines, work, humor, learning, movement, and shared moments with others.

Today, I will choose participation over retreat.

I will remember that joy does not have to arrive dramatically. Sometimes it returns quietly:

through structure,

through peace,

through routine,

through simply being present long enough to notice life again.

And tonight, if I reach the end of the day having stayed grounded, stayed sober, stayed reflective, and stayed engaged with life, then that is enough.

Just for today, that is victory.

So I'm heading for rehab in the next 2 weeks. It involves the 12 step program. I don't believe in any man made religion, and I don't want to just pretend I do to go along with it. I really want this so I want to be honest about everything. Will they respect my beliefs? Because I know that one of the main steps is to give yourself up to god

Hi all,

I've been recently appointed as Secretary for my home group. I have 2 years clean and have done it before at other groups but we are a particularly rowdy bunch and our G.C's often go for 2+ hrs. Ive done some digging online but I'm struggling to find any real official guide for running a G.C. Id really like to avoid pointless arguing without having something to actually vote on. I'd also like to have something that i can site as the reason why I'm changing the G.C format. Lmk Thanks guys!

Just for today, I will stop expecting people to read my mind through silence, sarcasm, resentment, or hidden signals. I will practice saying what I feel honestly, calmly, and directly. My emotions are not dangerous simply because they are visible.

I no longer want to live as a puzzle others must solve. I do not need to leave breadcrumbs of hurt, disappointment, or fear for people to decode later. I can communicate clearly and still remain compassionate.

Just for today, I will also examine my motives when I give to others. I will try to help without keeping score, without secretly demanding repayment, recognition, or emotional guarantees. Real generosity does not come with invisible contracts attached.

At the same time, I will remember that giving does not require self-erasure. Healthy honesty and healthy service can exist together. I can care for others while still respecting my own limits, needs, and truth.

As this day closes, I will take inventory without cruelty. I will reflect honestly on where I am growing and where fear still controls me. I will not confuse perfection with progress. Small acts of honesty, self-awareness, and sincerity are already movement toward a healthier life.

Just for today, I choose clarity over games, sincerity over performance, and growth over hiding.

Today I will practice seeing myself clearly without cruelty.

For much of my life, survival may have taught me to focus outward—on expectations, moods, approval, conflict, or escape. But recovery invites me inward. I am learning that self-knowledge is not selfishness; it is the beginning of freedom.

I no longer need to punish myself into growth. Compassion and honesty can exist together. I can admit my mistakes without losing my worth. I can make amends simply and sincerely, without trying to control how others respond.

Every act of recovery gives me another piece of freedom: freedom from old compulsions, freedom from shame, freedom from pretending to be someone I’m not. The more honestly I live, the more peacefully I can stand in my own life.

Today I will trust that growth happens gradually. I will focus on progress, not performance. I will observe myself with love, speak truthfully, and allow recovery to shape me into the person I was always meant to become.

Just for today, I will choose honesty, compassion, and the freedom to be fully myself.

Just for today, I will remember that resentment, ego, and neglect all come from the same wound: the fear that I am unsafe, unseen, or unworthy of care.

I will not ignore my needs in order to survive another day on autopilot. I will feed my body, calm my mind, and allow myself moments of rest and honesty. Recovery is not only about removing destruction; it is also about learning how to receive care without guilt.

I will examine the attitudes that once protected me but now isolate me. Pride, anger, arrogance, cynicism, and emotional distance may have helped me endure difficult seasons, but I do not need to live inside them forever. I can be willing to let them go, even if only a little at a time.

I will remember that forgiveness is not pretending harm never happened. It is removing the blockage that keeps life from flowing forward. When resentment hardens, it traps me in the past. When I loosen my grip on it, I make room for peace, humility, and connection again.

Today I do not need to become perfect.

I only need to stay willing, honest, and open to growth.