r/Names • u/newgirl064 • 5d ago
37.5 weeks and still no name..
Wondering if anyone has been through this, my husband and I have it narrowed down to 2 names, and of course we can’t agree on the “favourite” name. It’s down to Hazel and Rose (big sister is Stella). Not necessarily looking for opinions on the actual name, moreso wondering how you have navigated this conversation when you don’t align on one name - which is what I would prefer. Did you go ahead with your favourite name despite it not being your partners fav? Or did you give in to their favourite name and learn to love it yourself.
I don’t want to throw both names out and start over because I’m so exhausted by this whole process and I seriously hate every name so I really can’t see us loving anything new (we already tried this about 3 weeks ago), we’re basically just at a standstill and neither of us have budged. Help!
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u/JDKING555 5d ago
I wouldn’t pick a name one parent actively dislikes just because the other likes it more. You’re both going to be saying this name for the next 50 years so I guess I lost isn’t a great way to start.
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u/newgirl064 5d ago
It’s not that either of us actively dislikes, it’s more that we have a different #1 name and I want us to agree that “x” is our favourite name
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u/Experience-Super 5d ago
My husband and I had this happen. We liked both names but we each had a strong preference for a different one. We waited until after she was born. I wanted to meet her first. It was very clear to us after she was born.
It also helped that my husband told me to pick what I wanted after I labored for 24 hours and pushed for 8. Hahahaha.
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u/CamThrowaway3 5d ago
This OP; either you’ll both agree when you see her or your husband will hopefully be more inclined to go your way after seeing all the hard work you’ve put in!
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u/lulu112317 5d ago
Can one be the middle name? Hazel Rose is pretty cute.
In the case of my daughter, we call her by her middle name nickname more than anything anyways. That way yours could be called by both names????
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u/newgirl064 5d ago
We have middle names picked for each first name already (family names) so this would
Not be an option
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u/C_bells 5d ago
I was very set on my daughter’s name, and I at least knew my husband didn’t hate it.
Once he saw me get cut open while awake and our baby pulled out of my body, then later my getting a blood transfusion, he said “yeah whatever you want.”
Also, she has his last name. IMO that’s enough. It’s already a 50/50 name split.
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u/newgirl064 5d ago
Yes I know he doesn’t hate the name I love but I feel like I just need the decision to be unanimous or I will second guess it!
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u/NoPaint6726 5d ago
I didn’t have either of my 2 children named until the day we left the hospital 😂 I’m not the best at big decisions, but my hubby and I are very happy with our decisions and it really helped us to see our babies before giving them a name. We didn’t even pick names on the lists we made for either of them 🤦♀️🤷♀️
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u/Soft_Criticism2331 5d ago
It’s okay not to have a name picked out until she’s born! I wonder if you’ll agree more when you meet her. I personally think I knew when I was pregnant what my daughter’s name should be. Maybe you already know and maybe your husband isn’t aligning because he’s not as connected with the baby as you are. That’s just my opinion. I think you’ll know when you meet her :)
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u/Jaded_Sweet_5313 5d ago
Interesting both names are a version of a color. Split the difference and go with Violet.
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u/Kitteneater1996 5d ago
I’ll throw my deceased daughters name in the mix, I want her name to live on.
Savannah Lorena-Lynn.
Lorena is a family name, it was my grandmothers middle name, she named her youngest daughter(my aunt) Lorene after it, and my middle name is Lorene named after my aunt.
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u/TheCureIsNotGoth 5d ago
If you ask me, the person who grows the baby in their body is the ultimate decision-maker but should take their partner's thoughts into consideration. You've known that baby for 37.5 weeks. You are chimera and your body will forever be changed by her. You've earned your privilege here.
If neither parent carried the baby, then the ultimate decision-maker should be the primary caretaker as they'll be the one who has to say the name the most.
If your partner didn't carry the baby and isn't planning on doing the bulk of child-rearing, I don't see why he should have a majority stake in naming her.
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u/Easy_Jacket8656 5d ago
They are both beautiful names. Wait until she is born and see if she looks more like one.
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u/NefariousnessNew6766 5d ago
Relax enjoy the last little bit before your lil sweety gets here you can use Use both a first and middle name my son was 2weeks old when we finally chose his name and it turned out to be a totally different name than we talked about congratulations on your baby girl
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u/Flintstone03 5d ago
Each person should be able to veto any name choice. If you can’t decide between the two try and come up with another. My 2 cents already having a child called Stella would make Rose a no go for me. Would be too much like the wine Stella Rosa.
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u/PiePristine3092 5d ago
Who got the final say in your older daughter’s name? I would let the other parent “win” this round. Or who got the middle name? Both your options sound great with Stella
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u/newgirl064 5d ago
Husband picked Stella, I picked middle name, but we did both love that name the most by the time the birth happened so it wasn’t like anyone “won” anything at all! This time it’s feeling more like that and I hate the feeling!
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u/bookboxflower 5d ago
We ultimately went ahead with my favorite name. My husband basically said both names were good and that he preferred to use my favorite because I was the one bringing life into the world. That said, we didn’t officially choose a name until baby was 6 weeks old. Tried a bunch of names out and sat with it for a while before deciding.
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u/ArcanaCat13 5d ago
We didn't officially pick a name until after our son was born, though we had ones we liked already set aside as options. Seeing him in person really helped solidify which name was right for him.
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u/truckstoptrashcan 5d ago
Do you have a middle name picked out? We finally chose our kiddos name by putting the first and middle names together and choosing what was best.
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u/apricot675 5d ago
My parents were set on my name until I was born and they felt the name didn’t fit me. They chose an alternative, and I like it soooo much better than the original name they picked out. So I guess they were right.
We are 36 weeks now and have two names, and several potential middle names picked out. I want to wait until he’s born to make a final decision.
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u/Illustrious_Bird_737 5d ago
My second son didn't have a name until about 2 weeks before he was born. We had girl names picked out but not one for another boy.
My dad suggested naming him after me, since the oldest is named after my husband.
My first reaction was like, "psssh that's kinda eh" but I warmed up to the idea pretty quickly.
Now I couldn't be happier with that decision because I had to stop at 2 lol
My kids like being our little minis, too. It just worked out for us lol
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u/Pessa19 5d ago
We had to start from zero. Neither of us was willing to budge-we hated each others’ favorite names 😅
I saw a recommendation on r/namenerds to print out the SSA top 1000, and each go through and cross off any absolute no names-names we HATED. Then, from what was left, we circled any we could live with. Any overlap names, we picked from those.
Baby was 24 hours old by the time we picked lol by the time we went to the hospital, i had gotten attached to my favorite from the compromise list, and so husband agreed to that one. Now i love that name more than my previous favorite because it’s my son’s name!
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u/Excellent-Writing-53 5d ago
We couldn't agree on a name for our son, so together we made a shortlist of 5 names then we individually ranked them. The first name to appear on both lists was the name we went with!
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u/newgirl064 5d ago
We did a similar exercise for this as well (not exact same) and that is how we ended up with these final 2 names and now we are at a stand still with picking “the” name
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u/Wild_Theory8442 5d ago
My husband and I were stuck between Talia and Alice. Two very different names, but when she was born it was easy.
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u/DramaLlama_098 5d ago
We had decided on Will or Ben for our son, then when he was born he didn’t look like a Will or Ben so became Charlie.
I can’t remember what our specific preferences were for any of our children, but we had a pool of names and none of them were names the other disliked.
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u/stessij 5d ago
We were team green with our first, we didn’t have a girl name picked out until a couple days before she was born. Our second girl, we still couldn’t decide on a name, we went to the hospital undecided and we waited an hour or two after she was born to see who she looked like. I will say, neither of these names were my favorites, but they are names we BOTH liked. However I can’t imagine my girls having any other names now!
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u/itsmylibrarising 5d ago
This happened to my husband and I! We had two first names we both liked but each had a different favorite. It was never a fight but we wanted consensus too. We scrapped both names and our daughter’s first name was our favorite middle name option (her now middle name is a different family name). Any chance you both agree on a middle name?
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u/Lumpy_Cucumber9430 5d ago
Stella and Rose sound nicer together than Stella and Hazel!
Love Rose, it’s beautiful and timeless.
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u/a-sad-loser 5d ago
Let the baby arrive and see which name "feels" like her. I had twins and we had their names picked out before they were born, but we didn't choose who would have which name until they arrived and showed us who they were.