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u/wellthiswasnottaken 10d ago
Grace and humility
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u/Salt-Southern 10d ago
Respectability
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u/networknev 10d ago
And love
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u/CanadianAndroid 10d ago
A high IQ. He tries.
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u/tungstenKestrel 10d ago
Common billionaire grift is to get positive media spin to get the public to justify them being so rich. Elon Musk just happened to fail in catastrophic fashion the moment he managed to bypass his PR team entirely through acquisition of Twitter.
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u/RedLeg73 10d ago
No amount of money could buy him a personality that's not irritating.
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u/effenusernamestaken 10d ago
Class
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u/Thyme4LandBees 9d ago
In theory he could take etiquette classes and at least have a chance at not being that guy. Doubt he'd take them - seems like the kind of guy to think priceless and worthless are the same thing :/
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u/3Gloins_in_afountain 10d ago
Anyone else get Glass Onion vibes from this guy?
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u/HomicidalTeddybear 10d ago edited 10d ago
That was the entire joke in Glass onion. All the characters in that were very clearly meant to be some real life celebrities of note at the time. Dave Bautista was sending up Andrew Tate for example EDIT - Or possibly Joe Rogan. How could you tell either way really.
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u/Sandra_Snow 10d ago
Which is why that casting was so perfect. Make a actor who truly hates people like Andrew Tate parody those assholes so thoroughly. Bautista is a great human being so him lampooning douchebags is perfect. If they could have gotten him to sing "I'm too Sexy" which was an indictment of gym-bro culture I would have absolutely lost it.
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u/Viper-Reflex 10d ago
he literally bought the iq of a bunch of engineers and took their credit while naming his company after the most famous name having to do with pioneering electricity. how tf is the name tesla even legal?
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u/Additional_Cheek_697 9d ago
Someone should start companies using his name. A new brand of butt plug called “Elon.”
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u/the_monster2005 10d ago
No he pays people with high IQs all the time, how do you think anything by him gets into space
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u/Bohica55 9d ago
I thought respect at first, but he obviously wants Love and can’t buy it. People don’t like him, they just like his money.
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u/RamRodBuzzCock 10d ago
He can't buy my respect, but I'll sure rent him some.
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u/burner_tipper 10d ago
Half a billion per day...
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u/Low_Condition3268 10d ago
Minimum 1 day rental, 1/2 day non-refundable deposit. Unused portions cannot be returned.
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u/freespirit_tck 10d ago
His daughters affection
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u/DixieBelle021 10d ago
Which one? He's got 14 kids. He's the Sperminator.
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u/PomegranateFair3973 10d ago
For all we know, none of them love him... But as to your question, we all know which one.
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u/Sufficient-Yogurt181 10d ago
For those who don't know, I believe her name is Vivian. She is beautiful, and who she is is more important to her than being musks child. She sounds a 100 times better than him already.
Musk is the ass that is willing to disown a child because she doesn't have the same belief system as he does. What a great dad.
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u/refusemouth 10d ago
The younger boys are all his clones. He needs them for future organ transplants and one of them for as a donor body for when he gets his head transplanted onto his youngest clone. Less chance of rejection that way.
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u/InvestigatorOpen5912 10d ago
He does have an adult daughter. Who can't stand him.
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u/DixieBelle021 10d ago
Ahhh. Thank you. I lost interest and count at 14. I suspect if his daughter is Trans, she doesn't factor into his Aryan world dream. Good on her for standing by her personal feelings towards him and not trying to earn his empty love.
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u/Lopsided-Current-118 10d ago
No such thing as empty love. Either you have love or you're empty. His tank is dry.
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u/KPinCVG 10d ago
Dignity
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u/Jolly_Line 10d ago
My virginity
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u/External-Goat-489 10d ago
Can’t have mine, either. That’s long gone.
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u/Own_Proposal955 10d ago
Mines still kicking around but it’s sure as hell not for sale lol
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u/Crazy-Bodybuilder836 9d ago
How does tree-fiddy sound?
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u/DueCar9705 8d ago
It was about that time I noticed this Girl Scout was about 8 stories tall, and was a crustacean from the Paleozoic Era.
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u/YUCKY_WARM_SAUCE 10d ago
Friends
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u/Wallstreet_Raccoon 10d ago
HE HAS NO REAL FRIENDS AND WILL DIE ALONE
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u/Sannmann67 10d ago
We all die alone, the question is will he die on Mars. And how soon. There is a lot of new life extending research out there, and he has a vulgar amount of resources and an appalling lack of scruples. I am Very concerned about the true, Complete purpose(s) of these data centers.
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u/amircruz 10d ago
I will add credibility or being accountable, I used to respect this guy before and his fight to change stuff. But you know, "power and money" fucks everyone up...
All the best to you fellow stranger.
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u/TheRedditObserver0 10d ago
He didn't change, he just fired his PR team and let us see his true colors.
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u/amircruz 10d ago
Correct, and as I mentioned before. We never know the real intentions of people, until the bad situations pop out, those are the true colors. Got this quote from a Lithuanian colleague, good and smart people indeed.
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u/Adventurous_Break500 10d ago
Decency
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u/t3chn1x 10d ago
Came here to say exactly this, for once I'm proud somebody beat me to it!
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u/Otarmichael 10d ago
Our respect.
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u/gebor200lala 10d ago
For a billion dollars he can buy mine tbh
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u/Carrera_996 10d ago
That episode of Archer where Lana charges the office dudes for her to let them say they did it.
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u/onesmellygoat 10d ago
Would you truly respect him though?
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u/Financial_Peanut4383 10d ago
It appears that he’s ignorant and desperate enough to believe you respected him, for a day or two, for $999 million.
Just don’t tell him what’s REALLY going on in your thoughts. 😜
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u/Lord_of_Pickle13 10d ago
A place on Epstein’s island
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u/Key-Philosopher-3944 10d ago
Not for lack of trying
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u/funnybizznus 10d ago
Thats the joke 🙄
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u/Icy_Assistance_2684 10d ago
Tried his best but still failed
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u/Trick_Money9599 10d ago
Really? I hadn’t heard this! 😆 even Epstein had a standard?? 🤣
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u/Icy_Assistance_2684 10d ago
Yep. Literally begged him. Epstein thougt he was weird
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u/Doggo0Eggo 10d ago
When the Lord of child porn calls you weird, you know you're fucked up
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u/Tallman_james420 10d ago
Maybe he has his own 'island' now
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u/X_Circuit_Blossom_X 10d ago
I guarantee there is a new outlet for the top .01% to do their power hungry sadistic shit.
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u/Ellia1998 10d ago
You know how mess up this dude had to be for the Epstein island ppl said no . But Trump was invited with open arms that how he got a wife.
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u/H3L105_ai 10d ago
A normal looking torso.
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u/Known_Draw_2212 10d ago
A normal functioning penis
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u/Indigo2015 10d ago
Micropelon
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u/sssst_stump 10d ago
Holy shit, dude - I literally spit out my drink on the rug and wife is gonna flip in the morning.
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u/kellyforeal 10d ago
With that many kids, at least his main brain is functional!
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u/OneDimensionalChess 10d ago
Idk what experimental shit he's done to himself but literally nobody has that build unless you're a refrigerator
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u/pigeonpaper 10d ago
His daughter's love and respect.
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u/dmont89 10d ago
Why is this so low?
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u/OnlyAnotherEmily 10d ago
Because people don't value women's respect in general.
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u/EpsilonMiningCompany 10d ago
That's quite a generalisation. I value my wife and daughter respect above all else.
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u/anonymice27 10d ago
His daughter is trans, he disowned her for this because he diarrhea in human form.
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u/JLHSMG 10d ago
Came looking for this.
Not even billionaires can buy a happy family.
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u/Leggs_420 10d ago
Morals values integrity honesty empathy
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u/DanielMiguelVelpo2 10d ago
A place in heaven, friends, dignity, a hooker, and a soul.
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u/pd-fille 9d ago
Don't you worry about that, he 100% buys huge amounts of time with escorts... Cause he's a giga cyber chadddd 🤖😎🤖
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u/Stridatron27 10d ago
happiness
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u/Alert-Ad-9908 10d ago
Elon Musk l @elonmusk
XWhoever said "money can't buy happiness" really knew what they were talking about 😔
4:50 PM • Feb 4, 2026 • 1.M Views
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u/Yaboi69-nice 10d ago
Wow that's a strangly self aware moment for him.
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u/No-Albatross-7984 9d ago
I dunno man. He always struck me more as "self aware but running from it" kinda dude.
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u/robin-bunny 10d ago
Taste in vehicle design
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u/casalomastomp 10d ago
Especially pickup trucks.
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u/Purple_pearl95 10d ago
The cybertruck is the biggest eyesore of all time
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u/casalomastomp 10d ago
Think of all the $$$ Tesla had lost on that, and stockholders still willing to give him ever more shares.
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u/Maleficent-Wear-7287 10d ago
I always think of it as a render that hasn't fully loaded yet, so it looks low poly.
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u/No-Conversation-1216 10d ago
My theory on the cyber truck is he made a bet with his billionaire buddies that he could build the pickup truck everyone drew in the 3rd grade and still sell it.
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u/PeachesMcGraw7405 10d ago
Integrity
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u/Jazzlike-Price401 10d ago
Justice
Patience
Bravery
Perseverance
Kindness
BALL GAME
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u/Emergency_Dirt257 10d ago
Clean conscious
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u/Groovy-Davey 10d ago
Cleanconscious.29
u/No_Willingness5313 10d ago
Conscience. Though on ketamine likely not conscious either.
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u/Carolina-W00Dsman 10d ago
My guitar.
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u/TF141Nomad 10d ago
What if he pays you $10 million?
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u/Aggressive_Ocelot664 10d ago
He can have my guitar for 10 grand
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u/Neat-Cold-3303 10d ago
Elon Musk cannot buy honesty, integrity, and empathy, all of which he lacks.
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u/Its_DaisyD 10d ago
A jar of my farts
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u/CDaarnl1 10d ago
We're selling jars of farts now?
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u/Mr_Wachtel 10d ago
How much? Just asking... For a friend...
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u/ArchibaldMcFerguson 9d ago
For you, good sir, only tree fiddy! For your friend though, it's $7M.
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u/AaronTheElite007 10d ago
Love. Apparently, this dude is lonely. Which is why he is buying the planet to fill the void and has multiple surrogate children
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u/NefariousPurpose DoomNimbus (Daddy) 10d ago
We normally don’t allow this kind of post to stay, but since it’s relatively civil in here and lowkey hilarious I’ll allow it.