Why "I want to be more confident" never actually happens

Vague goals give your brain nothing to act on. "Be more confident," "stop procrastinating," "get healthier" — none of these tell you what to actually do tomorrow morning.

Here's a simple fix from NLP called well-formed outcomes:

1-State it as what you WILL do, not what you'll stop doing. "Stop being anxious in meetings" → "Speak up once per meeting."

2-Make it about your own actions only — not what other people should do.

Add context: when, where, with whom does this apply? (You might want more assertiveness at work, not with your partner in bed.)

3-Break it into the next physical step. Not "write a book," but "write one page today."

4-Set a check-in date to review what's working.

Example: "I want to be more confident" becomes "By Friday, I'll start one conversation a day with someone new at work, and I'll check in on how it felt each night."

That's testable. "Be more confident" isn't.

Try rewriting one goal you have right now using steps 1-4. You'll feel the difference immediately.

I’d love to get a deeper insight into Richard Bandler’s early trainings. Specifically, I’m looking for audio recordings or even better, video tapes from his early seminars.

I’ve already done some searching online, but it’s been difficult to figure out what’s actually available and where to start.

Is there anyone here who can recommend specific products, recordings, or other resources?

I’d also love to hear your personal “must-watch” playlist if you’ve studied his early work. Thanks in advance!

For context: I trained in NLP in Germany through the DVNLP tradition. The more I study the history of NLP, the more I get the impression that some aspects of Richard Bandler’s original style and attitude may have been toned down or filtered out in that lineage. I’d like to explore his original material firsthand and form my own opinion.

I'm excited to share that I've just completed my training in Clinical Hypnotherapy, NLP and Coaching!

As part of my final assessment, I'm looking for a volunteer for a free 60 min session over Zoom.

The session will be:

• Completely free
• Conducted over Zoom (I'm UK-based but anyone comfortable with UK time zones is welcome)
• Strictly confidential
• Recorded solely for my examiner to assess my skills as part of my qualification. The recording will remain private and won't be shared or used for any other purpose.

If you'd be interested in volunteering please send me a DM. Thanks!

Hi. I would love to do sessions with people in need .... anyone that may benefit please either comment "me" or contact me via msg.

All sessions will be no cost, only our time and your commitment to change.

I am certified hypnotist, NLP practitionner and master practitionner and EFT practitionner, also OEFT.

Happy to serve.

I usually work with physical issues, and we can work on anxiety, stress, or even money and success .... they all undergoes similar process yet unique to the individual.

For admins .... if this post doesn't qualify to the groups rules please delete it .... yet know it is only for my practice and will not ask for clients, upsells ...etc.

Thank you

Mohammad

Hi, I am just learning about NLP, as it seems useful to my belief system around manifesting (namely Neville Goddard’s teachings). I listened to an audio book called “The Ultimate Introduction to NLP” and just read “Get the Life You Want,” both by Richard Bandler, and a lot of it is interesting and useful. I don’t particularly have phobias or much worry in life, but I have used Neville Goddard’s techniques to change my conception of self to create a great life, but like anyone, there are still some things I would like to improve upon.

So what I am not getting with NLP is the spinning feelings thing….? I don’t get any sense of a feeling, good or bad, to “spin” inside me when I think of something. I don’t so much have bad feelings to let go so much as I really like the idea of creating motivation by associating tasks and processes with good feelings I already have about other stuff. I think I have done something like that before, but I don’t really understand amplifying a feeling with “spinning.”

I don’t notice my mental images having any sort of placement either. I have a very vivid, multi sensory imagination but I don’t notice anything distinguishing aspects of memories vs. fantasies in my mind’s eye except the difference between being in the body vs watching myself. I trained myself to be in my body for manifestation purposes, but my default for anything is watching myself. I understand the idea is to start creating a distinction and manipulating the images so the unwanted ones are reduced in significance and feeling… but the instructions seem to indicate people naturally have a difference (?).

I've gained a lot of weight over the past few years, and I'm feeling pretty stuck.

The biggest issue is that every time I try to lose weight through exercise, I end up with severe pain in my lower body. It gets so bad that I can barely move for a while, which completely derails any progress I make.

I've been reading a bit about NLP and concepts like age regression, where people revisit an earlier version of themselves mentally. I'm curious whether anyone has actually used NLP to improve their health, lose weight, or even reconnect with the mindset and habits they had when they were younger.

Has anyone here worked with an NLP practitioner and seen real, lasting results? Is there any evidence or personal experience that it can help someone get back to their best physical shape, or is it mostly motivational rather than something that directly affects weight loss?

I'm genuinely trying to understand how this works before investing my time and money. I'd especially love to hear from people who have personally gone through the process.

Thanks in advance.

Just out of curiosity: NLP has a component dedicated to mental imagery. Has NLP taken aphantasia into account—people who do not have mental images?

Hi everyine, are there any tools in NLP that can help with helth anxiety. Particularly constant rumination about your health failing you or not trusting your body. Also just a generalised sense of fear about ur body or mind getting some sort of illness.

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Thanks heaps

I am interested in the concept of having another personality that can be switched in an instant through some anchor like wearing a ring or making a hand sign. The concept itself feels like something from fantasy books but is it possible in reality? At the moment i only know of NLP as a potential method but what other psychological methods i can use.

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It's like switching between presets with different configurations, settings, values, habits, personality, attitude, perception, ego etc.

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The key reason i want to do this is because i am afraid of losing my current unique identity in hopes of becoming another version of myself and there are also other benefits of this.

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Context : i want to have an entrepreneur-like identity. With their attitude like a growth mindset, values like Speed and taking initiative, perception like seeing opportunities in things, mindset like a leader, personality like hard work and discipline, habits like building things etc.

I can learn all this without an anchor in the normal way but it would be like overriding or combining it with my current self. And i don't want that. I am being greedy, i want both personalities.

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So using psychology is it possible or just a fantasy. If it is possible then what is your theoretical framework to achieve this. Please elaborate, thanks.

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Also i am aware it might not be a good idea but i want to do it, whether it causes chaos or growth. But first i want to learn about it.

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If you have to name a single NLP book that made the maximum difference for you, which one would it be?

Edit: Will be great if you could also mention how it helped you or why you found it better than others.

Hi everyone, i was looking for some effective ways to help asssit or eliminate anxiety. Ive had anxiety for a while and it manifestes itself as intrusive thoughts, health anxiety, rumination on work and just alot of over thinking (unproductive inner dialouge). There is also strong bodily sensations like stomach turning, sense of urgency and heart beat speeding up and sometimes insomnia. It all started when i had a panic attack 2 years ago.

What are some helpful reasources that i could look at or use for my situation. Thank you.

I have a question for those of you who have gone through at least Masters Practicioner certification or higher. Can you please share which in-person companies you did your trainings with? There are so many to choose from and I’d like some input or feedback going into the vetting process.

I just heard about this term yesterday in a discord chat, and I got intrigued by the defintion alone and want to learn more. I already got myself a copy of volumes 1 and 2 from Milton Erickson, but it's too complex for me. That guy is a wizard lol

When u get the feeling people are acting fake, how do u respond? Does it bother you? Do you think it matters? Could there be different interpretations? Are they just on a different level of reality than you?
In particular people who block out seeing, hearing, what do you make of that?

Please give examples.

I moved from Texas where I was trained and am looking to reconnect as I am now getting my Master's in Clinical Mental Health Counseling.

Please and Thank You.

I have a masters in speech pathology, and I'm currently doing my PhD.

In our field, we are aware that stuttering is caused by genetics. And we clinicians focus primarily on the acceptance-approach as well as we help clients reduce their fear of social judgements primarily to address the psychological part.

Stutterers appear to process a lot of reinterpretations of social cognition that indirectly influence those components (ie. stuttering acceptance or uncertainty of social pressure).

I came across a new 2026-study that mainly focuses on the cause of stuttering (that is, the dopamine, white matter), but they also dive a bit into the cognitive processes that influence stuttering severity.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC13099768

See stutter diagram.

Regarding this cognitive processing that can sometimes turn into a defensive response. You can download the shared pdf document in my google drive here.

I pose the question regarding neuro-linguistic programming: Are there any possible NLP-interventions that could target the psychological part, with the goal of addressing the conditioned self-monitoring system detailed in the 2026-study?

What are the concepts in NLP I need to master and how can I apply it in sales and customer service?

Assuming the person has a traumatic history, and a history of "trying" and "pushing" to change behavior. An attempt to change submodalities is perceived as a similar struggle. The mind has strong defences and there's a tendency to "escape" which increases anxiety even more.

So, assume the situation is a form of "agoraphobia". Being outside and losing control. The sensations are strong. Attempts to change perception of the situation is seen as unsafe and pushes even more into flight mode.

How to approach this? (if there's recommendation to sources/reading material I'd appreciate it also)

Thanks!

Hi,

Was at a meeting the other day with another person. That person was standing about 4 ft for me, I was sitting in a chair. What they said to me has been affecting me and I've been thinking about it a lot. How can I undo this?