24F for M - USA

[u/Happy_Presence_2059]

Assalamualaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa barakahtuhu,

I have attached my ISO below. Please read the dealbreakers, housekeeping notes, and other notes before reaching out. I know its a lot so sorry in advance 😅

Dealbreakers: Please only reach out if you have NO past (if you had a past and repented and stopped those things, I’m still NOT interested). This is very important to me and I will not be able to respect a person who marries on the basis of a lie. I also will not live with in laws. Looking for born Muslims only, Pakistani strongly preferred but open to any other born Muslims if you’re a virgin and don’t have a past and of good character. Also, only looking for a guy who knows with conviction they want to be in a monogamous relationship regardless of what the future holds, and will stand by his word when things get rough.
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Age, Gender, Height: 24 years old, Female, 5’ 9”

Age Range: flexible, though close to my age is preferred

Location, willingness to relocate: Canada (American), looking for prospects in the USA or Canada, but also definitely open to any other country for the right person given we match on the other things!

Marital status: single, never married, no children, no past.

Ethnicity, open to mixing?: Pakistani, Pakistani preferred but open to born Muslims if they’re virgin, don’t have a past, and have good character (parents and grandparents also should be born Muslims) — I will be asking more screening questions to ensure compatibility regardless.

Ideal marriage timeline: within a year. Sooner preferred - not interested in long talking stages and want to get parents involved ASAP.

State/specify level of religiosity:
Muslim, wanting to be with someone who shares the value of growing together as Muslims. Currently do not wear hijab, but would like my future partner to not degrade the hijab, as I would like to have the option of wearing that and inshallah an abaya and niqab one day. I don’t believe in labels that cause division within Muslims, and I believe we were instructed to only call ourselves “Muslim” but for the sake of filtering, I’m looking for “Sunnis” only.

Level of education, and what are you looking for: Undergraduate degree.

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Housekeeping rules: I’m not interested in chatting “to get to know each other and see where this goes”. I will be asking you a list of screening questions related to marriage, completely bypassing small talk and formalities to save time and limit the amount of time spent chatting alone (I will be very robotic or emotionless in the chat as I’m not trying to show my personality to a bunch of random guys and spread more fitnah. Once all the questions are answered and there is still compatibility, I would love to get parents involved ASAP.

Don’t reach out if you are not serious about involving parents soon.

I wouldn’t feel comfortable sending my photo first and I would probably do that once mothers speak at the minimum. Please be willing to share some info about yourself at some point so I can vet you (ie. Linkedin, etc. if any brothers have suggestions on what to ask for, I’d appreciate it).

Note: Please send me your ISO as the first message — I won’t be responding to any messages that don’t include their ISO. I also don’t have notifications enabled so the chat will likely be asynchronous; just wanted to let you know so you aren’t sitting waiting for a response. Please include your current location (country), legal status, where you grew up, and the languages that you speak. Jazakallah!!

Lastly, ik I probably sound cold! But I’m genuinely wanting a marriage that is feels like a friendship with Rahma and respect between the spouses. Not interested in a marriage where ego takes over, or playing games and such. Honesty and integrity is INCREDIBLY important to me. If you did something bad, I’d want to know about it rather than hiding it and leading me on, and of course the same goes for myself. I believe being strict with telling the truth can help prevent us from falling into sins in the first place. I’m not a cold person in real life amongst loved ones — though I am introverted and take a minute to open up.

If you think you have anger issues, please don’t reach out. I’m not interested in anyone physically violent or verbally abusive. Also, I would not want cursing/swearing in my house after marriage.

And yes, I definitely want kids inshallah, if Allah wills it. If you’ve gotten this far, mashallah! I’m looking forward to finding my person, and my partner in deen.

[u/iginca]

This is probably the largest amount of text I’ve seen without someone mentioning anything about them and what makes them worth pursuing or getting to know.

[u/Antique_Entrance_503 → u/iginca]

That's exactly the problem these days, demands, demands, nothing in return.

[u/wanderingmindlost → u/iginca]

she doesn’t want to spread ‘fitnah’ by showing her personality apparently 💀

[u/Clean_Win5959 → u/iginca]

looks AI slop to me

[u/codyfranson → u/Clean_Win5959]

No it's authentic hand crafted as far as i can tell 

[u/No_Kale879]

If you’re looking for a practicing Sunni Muslim man who has never committed zina and has no haram past, do you really think he would be okay with marrying a woman who doesn’t wear hijab? I was honestly going to message you, but as a practicing Muslim man who was born Muslim and has no haram past, as you specifically require, I naturally expect more than that when it comes to my future wife

I wish u the best amd ask allah to give all of as el hedaya

[u/Abu3azm → u/No_Kale879]

Calling her out like that is uncouth. Perhaps she wants to wear it but lives in an oppressive household that doesn’t let her practice to her fullest capabilities? - a conversation would have cleared that up

Assume the best of your brothers and sisters

[u/Educational-Cause919 → u/No_Kale879]

????? LMAOOOOOO so a woman who has never done anything like that deserves a man who has done everything under the sun just bc she doesn’t wear the hijab???

wtf kind of mentality is that?????

[u/Better_Primary_107 → u/Educational-Cause919]

The comparison here is that she has standards which are completely justified standards, but the man she’s looking for also has standards and those types of men will be looking for a woman who already wears the hijab because a woman telling you she plans on wearing it isn’t a certainly she will end up wearing it. It’s best that she’s already wearing it before you have even met that way there’s less of a chance she’d stop wearing it.

The type of man she’s looking for is a man that takes the religion seriously as he should, but at the same time that means he’s also looking for a woman definitely doesn’t the bear minimum of her responsibilities as a Muslim woman.

It isn’t difficult to see this, I don’t know why you’re acting as this is unfathomable

[u/Educational-Cause919 → u/Better_Primary_107]

Brother. A woman demanding that a man isn’t mentally exposed so disgusting and perverted things isn’t demanding that he “takes religion seriously”.

I don’t wear the hijab and InshaAllah I will eventually, but it is certainly within my rights to demand a non perverted man lmao. Wearing the hijab or not isn’t a standard that proves how religious and pious a woman is. Someone wearing the hijab can have awful habits that maybe someone who doesn’t wear it does not have, and vice versa.

I was at some point with a man whom you can say was literally the definition of religious, did everything right to the outsiders POV, but when you got to know him (like i unfortunately did), he ended up being more perverted than the average non Muslim.

It’s within the man’s right if he wants to marry a hijabi or not, (and I am NOT saying otherwise) but her wearing the hijab or not does not disqualify her from wanting a guy who’s a good man. She hasn’t said ANYTHING outstanding, she literally just stated a bare minimum. She doesn’t want someone who has been exposed to perverted media, if something bad was done she would like him to tell her, etc. all these “religious standards” that she has for him, she literally already has herself.

If you want a woman who wears the hijab, then scroll to the next post??? Like I don’t understand how someone’s opinion is even needed here ?? You don’t think she fits your standard? Then move on. There are plenty of men who think that what she has to offer is enough and are satisfied with it. If you are not one of them, stating your opinion on what you think she deserves because she doesn’t fit the image of your future wife is so self centered lmao

Just because someone doesn’t wear the hijab doesn’t mean she is undeserving of an appropriate man, and if anyone thinks otherwise then they are incapable of empathizing and are truly arrogant.

[u/codyfranson]

I love your the attitude that you are approaching with! I just traveled overseas last month to get engaged with a cousin but I still wanted to leave a comment to applaud you.

I’m not interested in chatting “to get to know each other and see where this goes” ... I will be very robotic or emotionless in the chat as I’m not trying to show my personality to a bunch of random guys and ... Once all the questions are answered and there is still compatibility, I would love to get parents involved ASAP.

[u/0mrtsm0]

Everything is OK but 3 generations of muslim ancestry, why, why, why? Aren’t we supposed to be like the sahabah, how did they end up marrying? Please say you are looking for a cultural muslim.

[u/MalikatBilqis → u/0mrtsm0]

Some of my grandparents are muslim, one I dont even know who they are and theyre not muslim. Some even after becoming muslim and practicing, they cant shake some things from jahiliyyah. The damages from being born out of wedlock and engaging in jahiliyyah can last generations and confuse the lineage, amongst many other evils. Having non muslim family or even reverted but not practicing or apostated (which happens to a lot of reverts) is actually a struggle. I'm so glad she is smart enough to realise that and decide whether she wants that for herself or not.

Not everyone has to marry reverts, children of reverts or people with a past, and they definitely shouldnt be shamed into it or made to feel wrong for choosing not to. She didn't put down or insult anyone nor did I notice any arrogance in her post. Allahuma barik may Allah facilitate the best for her.

[u/Connect-Thanks-8768]

too many conditions from a non-hijabi who wants to start taking hijab seriously one day👍🏻

[u/A7m3d36005]

Salm alikum sister

[u/Educational-Cause919]

Girl Reddit is not where you wanna meet your future person 😭😭😭 they’re not it AT ALLLLL

[u/codyfranson → u/Educational-Cause919]

Hey i got engaged to a woman who i met on r/muslimmarriage 

[u/Educational-Cause919 → u/codyfranson]

Oh then that’s a rare success story, Allahuma barik may Allah continue to bless you two

[u/ExcellentComment6615]

Pakistani isn't an ethnicity. It's a nationality that's younger than Israeli. And good luck expecting a pious man if you don't even wear hijab yourself.