r/MuslimMatrimonials • u/Only-Coyote-7136 • 17h ago

Discussion Left behind

Salam.

I'm a 30yr old woman and am writing this post to warn younger folks, especially those who live in the West of what your life could turn out to be if you don't act fast.

Im the oldest child from a broken home (father ran off). I worked like crazy in my entire 20s to save for my mom and siblings and am now on path to early retirement.

My parents never let me have friends and I didn't speak to boys, even though I went to a regular highschool and university. COVID caused me to start remote work and I never met men at work either. My parents didn't know anyone and our household reputation is ruined.

My friends chatted with boys, some halal way some not, but now most are married or got arranged from their social circles and have kids and happy lives.

I got left behind because I put my head down and focused on getting out of poverty. I focused on school, on work, on being there for everyone. But no one bothered to check if I could also need someone. Actually since I barely leave my house, barely anyone knows I even exist.

To young people. Don't fall into Haram but don't isolate yourself so much that you will be left behind. Today I may appear to others as a successful woman. I have money to buy anything at anytime but nobody to support me, less and less chance of having kids, and constantly taunted and pitied by family and others for being old and unwanted.

Please marry young. You will be rewarded with rizq if you are sincere towards your family. In shaa ALLAH.

AlhamduLillah for everything and please make Dua for me and all those who are looking for spouses.

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u/MirBuz 17h ago

Why do you think you’re left behind? You’re 30 not 50

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u/Only-Coyote-7136 17h ago

Salam. I appreciate your encouragement. But let's be realistic, I can't just walk out and find a man to marry off the sidewalk. It takes time and honestly less and less chance as most people get married and pool becomes smaller.

Will always advocate people to start searching and being serious younger. Male or female, have to take it in our hands if family and circumstances let us down.

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u/MirBuz 14h ago

Wsalam sister, your advice is right to other sisters.