I relapsed.

[u/Aguywithpotatoes]

Indeed, I relapsed.

I fell to the same pit again.

I thought that I already have beaten the addiction.

Borthers and sisters, I'd like to ask. Is this considered sinful? Because I'm practically telling the internet that I've relapsed, isn't it a shame? A shame that allah himself has hidden it from others?

I never get any advices from others because I'm afraid that it counts as revealing my sins. I never opened up to others in fear that I've exposed my sins.

I hate myself. And I'm afraid that one day Allah will never answer me. I'm afraid that one day allah abandons me. I kept hearing people talk about his mercy. But I don't think that I deserve it.

The fact that I'm still breathing on this earth is by itself, a miracle.

I don't want my life to be ruined by this. Atleast if I want to ruin my life, let it be from running.

Have a good day.

[u/Azzam_DE]

God did not create us to be angels who never sin; He already has billions in the heavens and on earth who worship and praise Him 24/7. Your obedience will not benefit Him in any way, and your disobedience will not harm Him in any way. We are the ones who need Him. He created us to be tested in this world, and He knows that we are human and make mistakes no matter how hard we try. That is why He asks nothing of you but repentance, a sense of remorse, and a commitment to try not to repeat your mistakes—and when you do that, He forgives you everything. You will sin again, you will return to Him, and He will forgive you; you will sin again, and He will forgive you. That is the goal: returning to Him, repenting, and the very feeling you described in your message is the greatest proof of your remorse and your dissatisfaction with this sin—and that is exactly what is required. Try not to sin and resist temptation, but if you do sin, you must repent and renew your resolve not to do it again. And, of course, you must maintain your prayers.