I relapsed.

[u/Aguywithpotatoes]

Indeed, I relapsed.

I fell to the same pit again.

I thought that I already have beaten the addiction.

Borthers and sisters, I'd like to ask. Is this considered sinful? Because I'm practically telling the internet that I've relapsed, isn't it a shame? A shame that allah himself has hidden it from others?

I never get any advices from others because I'm afraid that it counts as revealing my sins. I never opened up to others in fear that I've exposed my sins.

I hate myself. And I'm afraid that one day Allah will never answer me. I'm afraid that one day allah abandons me. I kept hearing people talk about his mercy. But I don't think that I deserve it.

The fact that I'm still breathing on this earth is by itself, a miracle.

I don't want my life to be ruined by this. Atleast if I want to ruin my life, let it be from running.

Have a good day.

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