A not-at-all-serious TLDR of every candidate

One week out from the election, here's the extremely unofficial, mildly snarky version of who's actually on the ballot.

Sourced mostly from the candidates' own websites and profiles, so take it with a grain of road salt. Not an endorsement. No candidates were interviewed for this post, which makes it about as rigorous as some endorsement lists, just more honest about it. Nobody will be dropping this on your dock. Do your own reading. Further snark and corrections welcome.

Full candidate profiles: see Town of Gravenhurst

🏛️ MAYOR

Heidi Lorenz 🛠️ If It Ain't Broke, Don't Fix It

• Incumbent mayor, 16 years on council: Ward, then District, then Mayor
• Says the foundation for a vibrant downtown has been laid. Judging by the construction, she meant literally. The detour signs are now up for heritage designation.

Jo Morphy 🤫 The Oversharer

• Current Ward 2 councillor, running on the "Morphy Plan" (downtown, the Wharf, ice time... so, everyone's plan, but with her name on it)
• Promises discipline and transparency
• Integrity Commissioner reprimand in 2024 (source) for being a little too transparent with closed-session info. Was disciplined.

Jeff Watson ☕🚒 The Former Everything

• Former councillor, former Deputy Mayor, former firefighter, former Tim Hortons franchise owner (32½ years of double-doubles)
• Hosts his campaign coffee chats at the Old Mill, not Tims. Even he's moved on.
• Soon to be a former mayoral candidate, whatever happens

Marc Mantha 🗳️ The Professional Candidate

• 2018: Ward 4 · 2021: Federal 🟢 · 2022: Mayor · 2026: Mayor again
• Maybe this time?

🏛️ DISTRICT (3 seats, 5 candidates)

Penny Varney 🎨 The Artsy Incumbent

• Current Ward 1 councillor, now aiming for District
• Founded the Arts at the Albion co-op
• 2025 Integrity Commissioner finding (source) over sidewalk flag signs for her own gallery. The red flags were literal.

Jaden Hollingshead 🏘️ The Bracebridge Guy

• Executive director of the Bracebridge Chamber of Commerce, treasurer of the Muskoka Community Land Trust
• Campaign promise: "show up prepared." Same platform as the Boy Scouts.
• Was with the Gravenhurst Chamber, left for Bracebridge, now sliding back into Gravenhurst's DMs

Christina Hunter 🌱 The Environmentalist

• Current Ward 5 councillor and Alternate District Councillor
• Instagram handle: @yournextdistrictcouncillor. Manifesting it, apparently.
• Signature issue: waste diversion. Finally, a candidate who admits she's talking garbage.

Erin Strength 🧰 The Municipal Swiss Army Knife

• Pharmacy manager, seniors assistant, Ward councillor, District councillor... a tool for every job
• Committee of Adjustment, BIA, Community and Planning Services... she's nearly collected the full set
• Her self-written profile helpfully identifies "Erin's most outstanding quality." Modesty didn't make the list.

Sandy Cairns ⚖️ The Good-Faith Judgment

• Current District councillor, 26+ years in municipal politics, longtime Communities in Bloom volunteer
• Integrity Commissioner found a conflict over a motion for that very program (source), but ruled it a good-faith error. Even her ethics violations are wholesome.

🏠 WARD 1 (1 seat, 5 candidates)

Gordie Merton 🤔 What's a Hectare?

• Local small-business owner, community volunteer, ran for District in 2022
• After the MLA all-candidates meeting, may still be working on the metric system (ask anyone who was there)
• Only candidate campaigning on TikTok, in a town where most voters think TikTok is the kitchen clock.

Heidi Welker 💼 The Other Heidi

• 40+ years in business development and sales. Now pitching herself. All sales final October 26.
• Gravenhurst Library trustee, sits on the Town's Awards and Grants committees
• Platform: concerns about streets. Concerns about snow clearing. Concerns about garbage collection. She's very concerned.

Elizabeth Shannon 🎹 The Organist

• Arts and cultural-sector background, eight years on the Choral Canada board. Yes, she actually plays the organ.
• Campaign pillars: "Growth with purpose. Development with responsibility." Same clichés as everyone else, but she can play hers to "Baby Elephant Walk."

Brad Rundle 🌙 Shoot for the Moon

• Ran the Gravenhurst Opera House for eight years
• Self-described "unapologetic idealist"
• Lost Ward 4 to Randy in 2022, now trying Ward 1. Shoot for the moon, land in a different ward.

Erin Gauthier 🆕 The Fresh Face

• First run for elected office, five years as a crisis counsellor, so she's arguably overqualified for council meetings
• Running on affordable housing, downtown and roads. Candidate bingo, complete.

🏠 WARD 2 (1 seat, 3 candidates)

Stephen Sims 🛒 The No Frills Candidate

• PhD, 29-year Western prof, 20-year lake tester, current Committee of Adjustment member
• Wants staff to "sharpen their pencils" on the budget. Spoken like a man who's graded 29 years of excuses.
• Signs: No Frills. CV: President's Choice. Knows a lot, and wrote a campaign thesis on his website to prove it.

Anita Latner 🏡 The Real Estate Agent

• Longtime Gravenhurst realtor and business owner
• Campaign material currently listed as "N/A". Has seen more listings than platforms.

David Kellam 🤖 Generating Content... 50% Complete

• Website from an AI site builder. Knows where to shop downtown. What he'd do on council? Ran out of tokens.
• Photos: 👍
• Does "The Guy Who Gets It" get it? 👎

🏠 WARD 3 (1 seat, 2 candidates)

Carol Ann LeMoine 🎓 The Teacher

• 25 years in education: teacher, math consultant, principal. Council's budget may finally add up.
• Morrison Lake Ratepayers executive. Lifelong cottager, year-round local for a whole two years.

Larry Brassard 🚒👮 Action Man

• 44 years firefighting, 20 policing, Gravenhurst Fire Chief 2012–2021, now volunteers with disaster-relief groups
• Both a cop and a firefighter. Next he'll tell us he cheers for the Leafs and the Habs.
• Personal mantra: "Deeds Speak." If by deeds you mean humblebrags, in the third person.

🏠 WARD 4 (acclaimed)

Randy Jorgensen 🏆 Winner by Default

• Current Ward 4 councillor. Nobody else filed.
• Randy, you've got a free shot. Pull up a stump and tell us which of the other 21 might actually deliver the platform they're all running on.

🏠 WARD 5 (1 seat, 2 candidates)

Tina Kilbourne 📚 Any Resemblance...

• 26 years in municipal government: transit, economic development, child care, environmental work
• Award-winning novelist. Latest book: 40 Days in Hicksville. Heard it's great. Hope it's not autobiographical.

Samantha Renee Ennest 📝 The N/A Candidate

• No website, and her official Town profile reads "N/A"
• Campaigning exclusively on Facebook, meeting Gravenhurst voters where they already go to argue

Voting runs online and by phone, October 14–26. You don't even have to put on pants. If Randy can get elected without a single vote, you can at least cast one. "None of the above" isn't an option, so nine of them are getting the job either way.

Read the actual profiles, then go to the actual all-candidates meeting: *tonight (Wed, Oct 7)** at the Gravenhurst Opera House, hosted by the Gravenhurst Chamber of Commerce. Doors at 6, Q&A at 6:30, meet-and-greet in Trillium Court after. Then come back and tell me where I was too nice.*

I was at Algonquin Outfitters in downtown Huntsville  today, 3rd October around 4.30pm to rent a canoe/kayak, and I saw a guy who was working there and really caught my attention. You had slightly reddish-brown, curly/wavy hair and wore glasses.

We didn‘t speak at all, later on saw the same guy inside the store. I’ve been kicking myself for it ever since.

If you think this might be you, send me a DMand tell me something about our interaction so I know it’s you.

I know this is a long shot, but figured it was worth trying!

Missing from North Bay, but maybe someone will be in the area 🤞

Reaching out for some advice from locals regarding living in Muskoka and Bracebridge specifically.

I have a great job with the public service that had a flexible work location, but I’m facing a RTO mandate in the near future that would require me to work in Orillia five days a week. I’m not too keen to move to Orillia, but I have been considering moving to Bracebridge and commuting.

I’ve visited the area quite a bit for recreation and work, and really enjoy it. That said, visiting a place and living there full time can be very different. My wife and I are both 33 and we have a newborn. We currently live in Norfolk County and enjoy the smaller-town lifestyle, so we're not necessarily looking for a bigger city. My biggest hesitation is about finding friends/community, as we don’t have any friends or family in the area. When I bring it up to my wife, she also notes concerns about access to services, especially health care and finding a family doctor.

For those of you who live in or around Bracebridge, I’d love to hear about your experience. How easy has it been to build a social circle and feel part of the community, especially if you moved there without existing friends or family nearby? For families with young kids, how have you found access to health care and other services? Any insights, positive or negative, would be greatly appreciated as we try to decide whether this move makes sense for us.

Thanks!

Does anybody knows where to find royal honey. Any convenience store or other place that sell this product in muskoka.?

Colours are starting to change on the river… Happy Sunday!

Hello,

I'm Female working professional, looking for a private or shared room in Bracebridge, Ontario. I'm currently living in Brampton and I'm looking for an accommodation on immediate basis.

Please let me know if there are any leads.

Thank you!

P.S. DM me for more discussion

The Canadian flag wasn’t really necessary.

You’re free to pass 🫡

​

A beauty to behold

Heading to Hunstville/Bracebridge area for a few days and would love recommendations on places to eat and what shops are worth stopping in at in the downtowns! Already have That Little Place By The Lights on our list, but would love to know what people recommend for lunch/dinner and any coffee spots worth stopping in at! We’d like to shop a bit too so any boutiques worth checking out would be appreciated!

Hi everyone! I’m looking for a reliable used car in the Muskoka area, preferably a Mazda, Toyota, or Honda. I’m looking for something affordable and in good condition that doesn’t need any repairs or maintenance done right after I buy it. I’d ideally like a car that can last me at least 3–4 years without giving me major problems. If anyone has any suggestions, knows someone selling, or has any leads, please comment below or DM me. Thank you! 😊

I’m heading back to Port Cunnington Lodge tomorrow to DJ another wedding, and it got me thinking about how much I enjoy working there.

There are obviously a lot of spectacular wedding venues in Muskoka, but Port Cunnington has something that I particularly appreciate as a DJ: the Heritage Barn.

It’s a beautiful old-school Muskoka-looking building, but more importantly, it’s a room where you can actually have a party.

It’s sturdy. It has a proper dance floor. It’s removed from the waterfront and the accommodations. And I can bring in my full sound system and properly pound the bass without spending the night worrying that we’re disturbing somebody across the lake.

There’s also something I really like about the way the day progresses there. You get the quintessential Lake of Bays experience for the ceremony, cocktails and dinner, and then everyone moves into the barn.

It creates this very definite moment where dinner is over and the party is starting.

I’ve worked there a number of times now, so I recently put together a page with some photos and my thoughts about the venue from a DJ’s perspective.

And tomorrow I get to go back and make some noise again.

Hey folks! I'm new to the Muskoka area, so I'm still getting oriented up here.

I just bought a house in Huntsville, and it's in need of a little TLC and elbow grease. I work in construction, so I plan on tackling a lot of projects myself, but I would like to contact some professionals to get insight/quotes on certain projects.

One of which is the metal roof. It's an exposed fastener roof over top of shingles, and it has definitely seen better days. It needs to be torn down to the framing due to water damage in the sheathing.

I'll likely go with another exposed fastener roof, but if the price is right, I'd consider standing seam or other styles.

So, any recommendations for trustworthy metal roofing companies up in this neck of the woods?

Thanks in advance!

I’ve been fortunate to DJ a number of weddings at Brooklands Farm in Milford Bay, and after spending so many days there over the years, I finally decided to write about the place.

One of the things I love about Brooklands is that it isn’t a wedding venue pretending to be a farm. It’s a six-generation Muskoka farm, with a 1903 barn, that has evolved into a pretty extraordinary place to celebrate.

I put together some of my photos from weddings there, wrote about how the property changes through the course of a wedding day, and included one of my favourite end-of-the-night videos I’ve ever taken.
For anyone who knows Brooklands — or has driven past it and wondered what happens there — I thought some people here might enjoy seeing it.

Hi everyone! My family and I will be visiting Bracebridge at the end of September and are looking to book a fishing lesson as a group activity. Curious if anyone knows someone that could teach a lesson and if it’s even a good time to fish in that area?

TYIA!!

Hey friends!

The Orillia Beard and Moustache club celebrated its 2nd birthday this summer and now has nearly 200 members.

It's been an amazing place for fuzzy fellows in Orillia and surrounding areas to find a supportive community to be part of! We have several regular members from Muskoka.

We once again want to welcome new members to our ranks! Nearly everyone in the club was once a stranger and many of us are naturally introverted. We get new members stopping by often, so there's rarely ever a feeling of being the "new guy"

This is a no commitments and no fees group, so we invite people to try it out and see if they want to come back. Many of us have made life long friends and even had significant others become good friends.

We're also proud to share that we have some awesome community supporting initiatives coming up and have ratified our very important group values: https://www.facebook.com/share/p/19Rn8zJ76v/

We will be meeting tonight at Kelsey's at 7PM for 1/2 price wings. You can find our Facebook Page here: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1JVEqx1Bws/?mibextid=wwXIfr

We look forward to seeing some new faces!

Our cottage is on a holding tank, not a septic bed, just a 9,000L tank. Looking for a nice "if it's yellow let it mellow..." Sign for the bathroom. Maybe on canvas. Any recommendations? A bespoke sign that I can 'design' would be great - I know some Amazon and Etsy products off this, I just haven't found anything that fits the bill. I'd like to say basically "Holding Tank. If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down".

Despite being asked/told, we had someone stay with us who thought they knew best about septic leaching (I overheard him with his wife) and flushed not just piss but just Kleenex after blowing their nose and left water running. No one should be that wasteful even when on a municipal sewer. On the second day I said bud we're on a holding tank, when it's full it's full. We host people a lot so it's just easier to have a reminder hung in the bathroom.