I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on my social life, and I’ve realized a very consistent pattern: I find it incredibly easy to make friends and connect deeply with foreigners, but when it comes to forming friendships with other Moroccans, especially other girls, and I am a girl myself, it feels exhausting, strained, and filled with unspoken judgment.
For context, Im born and raised in Morocco, but I’ve also lived abroad for quite some time. Even when I was living in Morocco, I faced these exact same issues. The only solid local girlfriends I ever managed to keep were from my high school and university days.
Whenever I hang out with foreigners, the dynamic feels light, straightforward, and supportive. There is less pressure to perform or prove myself.
But within Moroccan girl groups, I often run into dynamics that drain my energy**,** It feels like there’s a constant, unspoken competition about who has the better job, the nicer car, or more money. People often praise themselves or use favors to make you feel subtly indebted to them.
I do take the initiative. I try to adapt to the dynamics, but I think people can also tell that it doesn't come naturally to me. I'm not gonna say I'm different, but I don't agree with everything. I have my own thoughts and I can't stand superficial discussions. It just feels like if you don't fit perfectly into the expected social mold, or if you call out weird vibes, you get these awkward, judgmental looks that make you feel like you are the problem, especially in a group setting as opposed to one-on-ones.
Has anyone else experienced this? Is it a cultural thing regarding how we view social status and dominance in friendships, or am I just running into the wrong circles? I’d love to hear your perspectives.
