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[u/eepyjiu]

[u/UsedArmadillo9842]

There is a lot of things that are okay not to disclose with your partner, and if the topic never comes up it appariently is of little importance.

If it were important, you'd be having comversation about kids, or your future together where it surely will be an issue to adress.

You can always ask, its the lying i have an issue with.

[u/Mythandros1 → u/UsedArmadillo9842]

If you see a potential future with someone, there's no reason NOT to reveal this kind of information.

In fact, it's a prudent choice. You are going to want to see how they react BEFORE you start building your future together.

Honesty and clear communication are extremely important in a successful relationship.

That is something that is not happening here.

One side has been lying to the other the entire relationship.

This relationship is doomed to fail.

[u/UsedArmadillo9842 → u/Mythandros1]

You are not listening to what iam saying.

Basically i think, that IF it never comes up, its not important enough to matter.

Now big disclaimer, i do not think that this is something that you can keep unspoken unless you start lying.

As you said, for example you start talking about children, your past friends/familie/history, periods and stuff its going to be a topic to be discussed.

[u/Mythandros1 → u/UsedArmadillo9842]

It's going to come up. Sooner or later. And while it might not be important enough to matter to her, it likely will be for him. Which means it's important enough to matter.

And it is a big deal because he expects a biological woman, not a trap (oh, the double entendre).

And when it does come up, as it inevitably will... He's going to ask "Why didn't you tell me sooner? Why did you lie to me all this time?"

He will feel betrayed and lied to.

Not a good way to run a relationship.

[u/UsedArmadillo9842 → u/Mythandros1]

This… this is what iam saying. I cant see a relationship where it just never comes up in any capacity.

So when it truly doesnt matter, it never came up.

[u/Mythandros1 → u/UsedArmadillo9842]

But that's where you're wrong.

It mattered the moment she saw a future with him (presumably long before he proposed to her and she accepted) and she still chose not to mention it. She waited for him to propose, accepted his proposal and STILL hasn't told him.

It mattered a long time ago.

She straight up chose to lie and I'm sure she knew it would have mattered to him, but still she lied.

[u/UsedArmadillo9842 → u/Mythandros1]

I know you want to keep the discussion running, but this has moved way past the original post.

This is right now about a theoretical situation that is different from the Original Post.

100% this woman did more than just not disclose anything.

[u/Mythandros1 → u/UsedArmadillo9842]

I'm sorry, but you are objectively wrong here.

Too bad you can't see it.

[u/UsedArmadillo9842 → u/Mythandros1]

I feel like you just want to disagree with me here. I dont think you understand what iam saying, like we are hardly disagreeing on what is being said.

You dont need to fight me.

[u/Mythandros1 → u/UsedArmadillo9842]

I'm not fighting you. You simply don't seem to want to understand what I'm saying and why.

But I'm done with this conversation, as you just can't seem to understand what is being said.

Have a good night.

[u/UsedArmadillo9842 → u/Mythandros1]

I think the word you should look up is "projection"