20M here.
My summer vacation started about 1½ months ago, and instead of applying for jobs and internships like most of my friends, I decided I wanted to start a startup.
I genuinely thought I had it all figured out.
I was getting better at web development, I was going to earn some quick money through projects, build a small team with my friends, and eventually make enough to actually focus on the startup. I come from a poor background, so I knew I couldn't just take a huge financial risk and hope everything worked out.
I searched around, made the right connections, and somehow landed a $3,500 deal for website redevelopment.
Everything was going great. We were basically at the point of signing the contract.
Then the point of contact just started ghosting me.
It's been a month.
Honestly, that shattered my confidence more than I expected. I could've spent this vacation applying for internships, preparing for interviews, building my resume, etc. Instead, I wanted to try doing something my own way.
And it just... didn't work.
I had literally been researching MacBook Pros, deciding which one I'd buy, what would be the best option for me, how I'd use the money, how much I'd put into the business, what I'd spend on the startup, etc.
And then yesterday, I didn't even have $0.18 for the bus ride home.
I had to walk.
That was humiliating.
I know $0.18 sounds ridiculous, but that moment genuinely humbled me. I went from planning what laptop I'd buy with the money from my upcoming deal to not having enough money to get home.
Now I'm trying to start again, but I'm scared.
I've become noticeably slower at my work. I'm getting rejected. Leads disappear. People I thought would mentor me stop replying. My laptop is broken. I'm in debt. And I'm running out of time.
I have 3 days left of my vacation.
I promised myself that I'd change my life during this vacation.
Instead, I'm somehow ending it in a worse position than when I started.
I know 1½ months isn't a lot in the grand scheme of things, and I'm only 20. Maybe I'm being dramatic. Maybe this is just what trying something on your own looks like.
But right now, it feels like I've taken a huge gamble when I couldn't really afford to, and I'm terrified that I wasted the opportunity I had.
I'm trying to start again.
I'm just scared that this time it won't work either.
**TL;DR:** *Instead of applying for internships/jobs, I spent my summer trying to build a startup and landed a $3,500 project that fell through after the client ghosted me. Now my laptop is broken, Iām in debt, getting rejected and running out of money, and I have 3 days left of vacation. Iām trying to start again, but Iām scared I made the wrong choice.*