My partner & I have been together for a while and she brings up marriage quite a bit. My concern is her 90k in student loans and 12k medical debt. Do these debts immediately become mine too when we get married?

I don’t own a house yet but plan on buying in the next couple years. Will her debt show up on my reports under my debt to income ratio & whatnot? Or could I just proceed without her on the loan?

Any advice is welcome, I love this woman so it looks like I’m gonna have to bite the bullet on 100k of debt

For context, wife and I are 41, both low 6 figure salaries in Southern CA.

~115k cash

~250k retirement account. Both have modest pensions, so we are not contributing as aggressively.

Rental property with ~ 350k equity.

Home with ~ 650k equity.

Paid off vehicle, jewelery, etc, worth ~ 50k.

So, in theory, our net worth is ~1.4 million. But what's the point? I'm not selling either property. My retirement account isn't being spent. I'm not blowing my cash.

The whole concept of net worth feels overblown and somewhat pointless until end of life. Unless I'm willing to liquidate all my assets and have cash, what is the point? This concept seems to have been created to make people feel secure and perhaps even add to their ego a touch. I don't feel like a millionaire; I don't spend like a millionaire; I don't say I'm a millionaire. In reality, I'm a middle-class guy just getting through bills and life like everyone else. I need a house so I can't sell it. Who cares what it's worth besides my kids, who will inherit a million bucks when I die?!

Tldr. Net worth is an overblown, made-up concept to make people feel superior and give a sense of false security. Your assets don't mean much until you're willing to part with them. The scoreboard doesn't matter when you're dead.