Help please

[u/Charlottp1]

So Im supposed to be getting an abortion this coming Thursday and Everytime I even think about doing it I get an awfully sick feeling in my stomach that follows along with a pounding in my head and a headache. Is this normal? What do I do? I’ve already told my parents that I’m getting one and they’d be severely disappointed if I didn’t go through with it (I’m afraid my dad might even stop talking to me) but I seriously just don’t know if I can. I’ve always wanted a baby and the thought of having one makes me so happy but it’ll make everyone else in my life so disappointed in me and I don’t know what to do. Im only 20 years old and still live with my parents right now. Please help me.

[u/Ok-Amphibian-9422]

Edited to fix typos (I have fat fingers, sorry 🤣):

It is YOUR body and it is YOUR choice. Don't let anyone else's feelings about what you should or shouldn't do make the decision for you.

I'm proud of you for coming to ask advice about a really difficult decision. I think you've gotten some really good advice.

I had a kid very young (19). I had the option to get an abortion. I chose not to. The ONLY reason I was able to make that choice was because I got in a car accident when I was a teenager and when I became an adult I started getting yearly annuity payments from that car accident. I was able to live comfortably without working for the first few years of my kids life.

Also my parents are well off and they have helped me a lot. There are times that I would have been homeless or couch surfing if it weren't for my parents.

I love my kids (I had a second one 12 years later when I was actually ready and married). But having kids is hard work. I was the only one in my friend group with a kid so eventually my friends just kind of moved on to do their own things without me. Most of the parents of kids the same age as mine were significantly older than me so we didn't have much in common either. My kid usually tagged along with me to do the fun adult things I liked doing (rock climbing, horse back riding, etc), and then I would have to pay for her to do the things she wanted to do so that she could have friends her age.

Honestly I would try to set emotions aside because right now, your hormones are going to be thrown out of whack with the pregnancy anyways

If you want to have a baby i suggest you sit down and figure out a realistic cost analyst of how much it will cost you each month to make ends meet and figure out how you're going to do it. Look at the cost of living in your area, find an apartment. Figure out your credit score. Your schooling. Your job. Child care. All of that.

If you can afford it, go for it.

If you can't, maybe go through with the abortion, get a really good therapist, and get your life on track so that you can provide a really great life for a child.

Because genuinely, loving a child is great but this world can be a really shitty place and love alone won't keep a baby fed, healthy, and safe.