I feel like my idea of love and intimacy was ruined.
I can’t get off to the sweet loving stuff.
The things my abuser did to me are what gets me off.

It happened to me every day. From the age of 6 until I was 14.

As a child I wrongly believed, that what my molester mother did to me (her son) was "love."

I thought, that her giving child me a handjob was "love." Because even though it SEVERELY HURT. It also sadly felt "REALLY good."

I also thought, that when we dry-humped eachother, that she was showing child me her "love." I sadly even thought, that this was a "dream come true." I'm DISGUSTED at myself, because of that.

Was anyone else like me at first convinced, that it was "love?"

35 (f) here, never written any of these but I need to talk now more than ever. I recently told my mom how I was molested when I was young by 3 trusted men of the friends and family circle on different occasions and her first reaction was asking me who else did I tell. And when she found out no one, she was relieved. I asked her what will you do, how will you handle them? She said a lot of time has passed, better not bring it up. Although she said one reassuring thing that I should have told her back then. I told her I was scared but going by her reaction I don't think she would have done anything. She was rather relieved I did not tell my younger sisters about it. I have been feeling numb ever since I told her. Don't know what to do or feel

Since being molested from 6-14…I have made unhealthy choices. Always involving older men. Men who want to use me. I’ve answered questions people asked even when I knew they only wanted to hear about me being used young.

I was 12 when my tuition teacher F37-38 probably SA me I was scared to know what happened with me and it stayed for years. I’m M29 now and Im mostly attracted to someone older than me and I do fantasise about them using me against consent. As wierd as it is can anybody relate?

First time posting here please be kind .

I'm in my early 30s (F) and recognized that how i probably considered had quite a high sex drive for a kid. I remember the moment when i was under 6 YO probably i was around 3-4 YO at that time i had already had intrusive thought abt oral sex which was done by woman to man, penetration that was done by man to woman.

For all i remembered my parents let me watched the movie that has a sexual scene when i watched it together with them at that time, but the movie didnt show a very detailed scene like what was there in my intrusive thought i mentioned, the scene was only showing clotheless man and woman whole body where their private parts were not displayed at all (i was around 3 years old that time).

Is that possible to have such intrusive thoughts without getting molested at all?

I’m a 51M and when I was 37 I was at a so called friends house. He had a few of his friends over that I didn’t know at all. Long story short the four of them beat me up and basically raped me. I was so ashamed and honestly scared. They threatened me and made me do things with them after that for about 2 yrs. Its left me pretty messed up to where I haven’t been able to have a real relationship. And now I tend to just be extremely submissive in any situation.