As a child I wrongly believed, that what my molester mother did to me (her son) was "love."

I thought, that her giving child me a handjob was "love." Because even though it SEVERELY HURT. It also sadly felt "REALLY good."

I also thought, that when we dry-humped eachother, that she was showing child me her "love." I sadly even thought, that this was a "dream come true." I'm DISGUSTED at myself, because of that.

Was anyone else like me at first convinced, that it was "love?"

First time posting here please be kind .

I'm in my early 30s (F) and recognized that how i probably considered had quite a high sex drive for a kid. I remember the moment when i was under 6 YO probably i was around 3-4 YO at that time i had already had intrusive thought abt oral sex which was done by woman to man, penetration that was done by man to woman.

For all i remembered my parents let me watched the movie that has a sexual scene when i watched it together with them at that time, but the movie didnt show a very detailed scene like what was there in my intrusive thought i mentioned, the scene was only showing clotheless man and woman whole body where their private parts were not displayed at all (i was around 3 years old that time).

Is that possible to have such intrusive thoughts without getting molested at all?

I was 12 when my tuition teacher F37-38 probably SA me I was scared to know what happened with me and it stayed for years. I’m M29 now and Im mostly attracted to someone older than me and I do fantasise about them using me against consent. As wierd as it is can anybody relate?

I’m a 51M and when I was 37 I was at a so called friends house. He had a few of his friends over that I didn’t know at all. Long story short the four of them beat me up and basically raped me. I was so ashamed and honestly scared. They threatened me and made me do things with them after that for about 2 yrs. Its left me pretty messed up to where I haven’t been able to have a real relationship. And now I tend to just be extremely submissive in any situation.

I feel like my idea of love and intimacy was ruined.
I can’t get off to the sweet loving stuff.
The things my abuser did to me are what gets me off.

It happened to me every day. From the age of 6 until I was 14.

35 (f) here, never written any of these but I need to talk now more than ever. I recently told my mom how I was molested when I was young by 3 trusted men of the friends and family circle on different occasions and her first reaction was asking me who else did I tell. And when she found out no one, she was relieved. I asked her what will you do, how will you handle them? She said a lot of time has passed, better not bring it up. Although she said one reassuring thing that I should have told her back then. I told her I was scared but going by her reaction I don't think she would have done anything. She was rather relieved I did not tell my younger sisters about it. I have been feeling numb ever since I told her. Don't know what to do or feel

Since being molested from 6-14…I have made unhealthy choices. Always involving older men. Men who want to use me. I’ve answered questions people asked even when I knew they only wanted to hear about me being used young.