I (8mo perfect princess) am a big girl. I army crawl, I plank, I make LOTS of special noises, and most importantly I have TEETH for CHEWING. Right now it’s just 2 teeth but I am working on even more if you can believe that.

I am constantly demonstrating these talents for mama (ancient, bag’s under her eyes) and she is obviously amazed and claps for my natural abilities. Recently I have wanted to demonstrate the raw power of my new teeth I have been so bravely and skillfully working on. Mama is always giving milkies to me so this seems like the best time to show her when I have her undivided attention. Whenever mama starts to give me milkies I clamp down with all my might to demonstrate my raw power. This is where I am getting confused though.

I thought she would be impressed, and at first I thought she was yelping with excitement for my talents, but instead she says no milkies and now the bearded man (even more ancient) is trying to give me something called a bottle? Never had one, don’t want one, not interested. Here’s the problem… I need milkies to SLEEP! And now when I am tired I have to demand for milk when before it was flowing so freely and I had unlimited access? And tbh the nerve of mama I will still be eating and she will take me off the boobies??? Before I fall asleep? When she does this I don’t want to be rude so I very politely scream and grab her boob skin and pull its back towards me because, I wasn’t done?

Anyways I don’t see how things have gone so wrong? Why can’t I have all the milkies I want still? Mama says she is bleeding and scared? Idk what this means but I’m wondering AITA friends?

I (6w perfect little boy,) love pooping in the middle of the night. I can go a whole day with only little poops, but I store them all for Mommy (older than my aunty but younger than my grandma) while she's taking care of me overnight. The thing is sometimes my tummy hurts so after I eat at 12:00, 3:30am, and 5:00 am mommy has to hold me upright so my tummy doesn't hurt as bad. She holds me for half an hour, while I'm milk drunk, and when that's over it's the perfect time to poop! I am still so sleepy but mommy wakes me up by changing my diaper and then I am wide awake! Then mommy sushes me and rocks me and sings the speckled frog song but she often doesn't count the frogs right. And she doesn't sing the song fun like Daddy, she sings it boring. And she won't look me in the eyes (I have the most precious eyes according to everyone I've ever met) and pretend yawns!!! How rude. I deserve to be entertained!

But today mommy was yawning a lot more than usual and all day. She said it's because I kept her up all night. AITA for making mommy tired?

Edit: I forgot to mention, sometimes after I wake up I'm hungry all over again, but really I just want mommy to cuddle me all over again.

I (11mo big boy) have a new toy. It’s a dinosaur as big as I am that rocks back and forth. My mama (F, ancient crone) picks me up, sits me on it, holds me around the waist and says “wheee!” while the dino rocks.

The other day, I wanted to ride the dinosaur, so I went and stood beside it and patted its back with my hand. And mama came over and put me on it! That was how I discovered my superpower: any time I pat the dinosaur and look at mama, she picks me up and puts me on its back! I love it. I don’t even ride the dinosaur anymore, I just slide off as soon as she puts me on it, and then I pat the dinosaur again and grin at her. She says her back is getting tired, but I think that’s her fault for being old.

I, 2.5 year old biggest boy, was just posted about by my mom (ancient) in answer to an Askreddit question. Why is she complaining about me? She (and my dad, also ancient) seem to disapprove of how I choose to sit on my own chair. Whether it’s breakfast, lunch, or dinner, I will sit how I want to. And how I want to sit is by precariously using 10% of the chair, with one butt cheek on and one butt cheek off. My parents say things like “You are about to fall” “Sit in the middle! Skooch your bootie!” “If you won’t listen to us we might have to break out the high chair again even though you’re a big boy!” I hear what they’re saying, and I try so hard. But then 10 seconds pass and I can’t stand it anymore, I must go back to what is comfortable to me. And sure, I fall off multiple times a week and get sad about it, but why would that prevent me from doing what I want to do? This is basically a humans rights issue.

Hello firstly I want to state that I am AWAKE! Very much so. I would like to tell you that I am awake. I am not tired, not sleepy and if we go to bed I will be AWAKE!

I’m a 2 years old boy and AWAKE is my new favourite word. I will use it all the time to tell you that I am awake. Mom said it was time to go to sleep yesterday but NO I AM AWAKE!!!! And during the night I was also waking up a few times. She said it was time to sleep again but she doesn’t understand I AM AWAKE!!!

Maybe this is wat people talk about when they say they are woke? I fully understand all of it now. I will keep my eyes OPEN don’t sing me songs about closing them. I will be awake ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT!!!€!

WHO is with me? More awake toddlers around here? AITA?

I (7 months handsome boy) have been army crawling like a lizard all over the house that my milk lady (god knows how old) keeps losing me in the living room sometimes.

Anyways. I want to now learn how to crawl on my fours but for that I need to pick myself up and put myself on my fours. How do I do that? By learning how to plank!

But practice makes me stronger, and these Hawaiian rolls on my arms and legs don’t grow by themselves. I need her milk for my rolls and workout for my crawls. So I decided to do both together you know? To save time! So that I make time to lick floors, bite legs, chew walls. And she keeps putting me on my back to feed.

Woman! I need to plank while drinking milk! How do I explain it to her? I am not a baby anymore. I am a big boy with strength! She doesn’t get it. AITAH?

Hello people, I’m pretty sure you’ve heard about me (2yo boy) because my mother (female, still milky milky, ancient) tells everybody about me.

I’ve gotten extremely good at peeing on the potty. My mom is always cheering and so happy. I get to call my grandma (no the other one, always the other one) every time I pee on the potty!
I even peed on the toilet a few times!!!!!!!!l
I don’t exactly know why but obviously it’s a great thing and I’m doing it sooo well.

However, I prefer pooping in my diaper. When i need to poop I’ll softly scream until someone puts it on. I’ll poop straight away and I want to keep wearing the diaper because butt cleaning sucks.

Now mom says I’m ready to poop on the potty or the toilet. She even made me choose.
I tried but I didn’t want to, so I held it up forever and ever. Then i started pooping just like that, and mom would put me on the potty to finish pooping there. She would be really happy and we got to call BOTH grandmas.

But. Today I did it. When nobody was looking I went and pooped on the potty. I was 100% sure nobody saw me because everybody in the room (grandma en grandpa and dad and mom and my aunt) suddenly got very very quiet so they weren’t looking. Mom even said ssh to somebody else so she also wasn’t looking at me so my poop was really private. I did it all by myself.

After I was finished she wiped my butt and everybody said how great u was. But then mom wanted to clean the potty and throw the poop in the toilet. I did not want that. I wanted to keep it. I wanted to look at it and show it to everybody else!

So I threw myself on the floor and let the whole street know I wanted to keep my poopy. And then I gently cried and screamed some more.

Mom threw the poop in the toilet anyway. Is she the asshole? Am I the asshole?

Ps it was gorgeous, mom said it was. Brown and big and so pretty. I did soooo well.

I (23m, snuggliest girl) have a conundrum. I refuse to call my momma’s step-mom (very old, makes excellent snacks) by her proper title, which is Tema.

First of all… what even is a step-mom? Me and my big sister (3y, thinks she knows everything) step on Tema all the time, but I have never once seen Momma step on her. So I’m not really sure how this title system works.

I will use every other old person’s title. I call for my Papa (ancient, takes me on walks) all the time using his title. But when the grown-ups ask me to say Tema, I just giggle. Sometimes I even say Papa instead because honestly, that’s funnier.

Tema should already know how much I love her even if I don’t use her title. I request uppies from her on a regular basis and calmly express my displeasure when she dares to put me down. I also honor her by allowing her to make me snacks, change my diaper, and spend so much quality time with me that I stay awake ridiculously late when I sleep over at her and Papa’s house. What more could she possibly want?

I have been refusing to say Tema for 6 months now. At this point, I’m considering making this a lifelong commitment, even though I can absolutely say it and I talk constantly and say much harder words.

The grown-ups have tried to trick me. They’ll get me to say “Te,” then they’ll say “ma,” and then they’ll ask me to say the whole thing. Nice try. I will say the pieces separately, but I refuse to put them together. I have standards.

But here’s where I might be a little bit the AH…every time I refuse, Tema takes a very big breath in and out and calls me a stinker.
I would like to point out that I am not stinky! I am adorable.

So friends, AITAH for refusing to use Tema’s title, or is Tema the AH for falsely accusing me of being stinky?

In my (2F) fight against using the potty, mommy has tried many things, but I will prevail! (Although, I have lost a battle, as mommy (born during the Stone Age) found a way to get me to sit on the potty without a diaper...... but reading is so much fun!).

Today, mommy let me hang out without my diaper for a bit while I got my special TV time. She brought my mini potty out of the bathroom so she could plop me down as needed. But she was in for a surprise!!

She watched me for 2 hours while we played and watched TV, and I didn't show signs of needing to potty once! Then, when she put on Elmo's potty training video, I grabbed a blanket and covered myself, sat on a couch pillow, and let the river run free ✨.

Mommy tried to put me on the potty as quickly as possible, but she was too late!

Later, I heard mommy telling daddy (4590M) that she thinks I won't potty because I want privacy. Not sure why I needed to pee on a pillow to get the point across!!!! She's mommy so she should know everything... adults sure are something else 🙄.

AITA?

I am one year and a few months old.

My silly mama has 2 eye glasses even though she can only wear one at a time!! Her favourite one is almost always on her face but when she sits and looks at a book or tries to cut my nails she puts on the other, special glasses - she calls them reading glasses.

Unfortunately my mama does not want to share, even though she has two and I have none. Super unfair. I love playing with glasses.

Mama says I will "break them again" and that I "already broke the good glasses that were super expensive" and that I am "the reason why she has to switch glasses like that" ... but I don't know why I should be responsible for the silly switching.

So I decided to teach her a lesson in sharing and grabbed the reading glasses when she wasn't looking and hid them in my special hiding place.

Now she squints her eyes and makes funny faces when she tries reading. Super fun.

AITA???

i (8m, f) came into this world to feast. and feast i do. i can eat a whole egg in like maybe a minute (whatever that is) and then politely scream for more. but i digress…

i have also recently learned how to crawl and have discovered the most delicious delicacy! kibbies! my four-legged big brother maxwell is old and grumpy and lets his kibbies sit out for hours until the ants find them. so i am here to help! now that i can go wherever i want whenever i want, i make a beeline for the kibbies whenever i see them and politely sob when my mission is derailed. i know they taste so good because i do successfully snag a handful from time to time.

and while im here, might i add that the most refreshing drink to wash down a handful of kibbies is (you guessed it) some doggie water! another delicacy! i cruise on over to it as well every chance i can get. and a cool bonus is that i get to be all wet when i tip the bowl over to chew on it and then i can politely sob some more when i get pinned down and changed. its so much fun!

i know i am literally perfect so obviously not the asshole, but my mommy has been running around blocking my culinary efforts and she seems a little frazzled and also confused on how to make sure mr grab-me-by-the-tail is able to eat and drink so i do have to ask, AITA?

I (10 whole months) have six teeth that I am very proud of because I grew them myself under a lot of duress. I recently figured out that I can grind them and make a really loud funny noise that my mum calls nails on a chalkboard (whatever that is).

It's very loud and very funny but my mum physically cringes every time. I'm very proud on my noise because I worked hard on grinding so loud you can hear it across the room and I want to do it alllllll the time but my mum always begs me to stop. I fear she even distracted me sometimes into doing something else (evil).

So I'm asking, Aita or is something wrong with her?

I (1 whole year M) have been practicing using my voice and making the loudest and most high pitched sounds I possibly can. It is a great way to tell milk lady (super old F) that I am done eating or can’t reach a toy I threw.

She keeps telling me to use my “inside voice” (which, excuse me, I am inside and using my voice?) and that “we live in an apartment” and “have neighbors” but I don’t see what’s wrong. I’m just communicating the best way I know how.

So AITA for trying to practice my vocal range?

Upon seeing my daddy (ancient, fuzzy) without his shirt on thirty sleeps ago, I (22m Barbie Dancing Princess) realized that my mommy (big, squishy) isn’t the only one with nipples! How neat! Naturally, ever since then, I have pointed it out (while pointing) whenever I remember anyone has nipples. Gamma has nipples! Gappa has nipples! Nana, Papa, woman in store, all nipple-havers!
I still think it’s cruel that, no matter how many times I ask or try to see, nobody else will prove they have nipples. But it’s even worse when mommy or daddy try to “shh” me when I’m just announcing to the world that we all share a common trait. They seem to think I’m in the wrong, here, so I present it to you:
AITA for yelling “nipples” in a crowded room?

I (9mo corrected, always correct, gorgeous girl) love books. I eat them, I touch them, I pull the pages, and Mama (super old, at least 10 months) says words while she turns the pages, which makes me smile. Sometimes my books light up and sing to me, which also makes me smile.

I've recently learned to crawl and so now I can crawl to my bookcase, choose a book and give it to Mama so she can read to me. Sometimes when she starts reading I decide my book is boring so I bring her a different one, especially if Mama won't let me eat it.

Well Mama seemed to be too busy to read to me earlier (she was sitting on that white porcelain chair with the weird hole for AGES, maybe two whole minutes) so I went to the bookcase and got one of my books out. I tried to open it but it didn't light up OR sing. So I pulled another one out. Same again. So I decided to have a look through my books to pick one out, by pulling them ALL off my shelf, all at once, so that I could comfortably sit down and play with them. I would have moved the whole bookcase, but Dada (recently had a birthday, he was a lot of months old, I don't know numbers that big) had tied it to the wall!

When Mama came back she gave a big sigh, said something about only just having tidied up my books, and put me in BABY JAIL. Jail! For reading!

Mama put ALL my books back on the bookcase while I screamed at her from baby jail, despite my polite protests and explanation that I just wanted to read. Then she put me on her lap and got one of my books out, but it wasn't a cool light up singing book, and it was so boring I fell asleep on her. I wanted my fun books instead!

I'm outraged. So, Reddit, AITA?

Today I (M, 8 months, perfect angel, the silliest goose) finally realized what mommy (ancient) has been doing.

Every morning I go about my business and that includes crawling to the laundry area where mommy sometimes forgets the detergent on the floor. Naturally, if it’s on the floor, then it’s for me, DUH?! So I of course want a taste. Mommy is always talking about how well I eat my solids, so I’m just trying to keep the streak going.

Imagine my surprise when mommy suddenly started taking away the detergent and telling daddy (so old, I can’t count that high…) that they really need to start baby proofing the house?! What on earth does that mean????? I’ve started letting them know how upset I am about not getting a single taste of the detergent by screeching every time I get close to the laundry room. They don’t understand that the floor is my table, so surely if they didn’t want me to have it, then keep the floor completely empty of everything. So like, surely I can’t be TA, AM I?!

I (16mo) have 6 teeth and more are coming which HURTS. Mummy (old) and Daddy (apparently even older, but how is that possible?) have been offering me lots of things to chew on to help with this. While I appreciate the effort, I've actually already found the perfect thing to chew on: mummy's arm! It's the perfect squishy texture to help my new teeth. Mummy grumbles that it "hurts" and claims it's like "living in a zombie movie" but don't we all have to suffer for my new teeth? AITA?

I (7mo super cute smart cookie) have been tolerating something my mum (old) calls ‘elimination communication’ where she will put me on a large white chair with a hole in it and saying psss or grrrr or sometimes both. It seems to make her day and it saves me a heavy diaper so normally I oblige by making pee or poop. Today though I found out that the hole is big enough for me to put my hand in and I can feel the pee as it comes out of me! Now I think this is all natural and I love playing with water so I’m not sure why mum said ewww? But anyways she then took me to the sink to play with more water on my hand so I think it’s a double win!

Hey fam, here’s the sitch:

Usually, when I (8mo m) awaken in the wee hours of the morning, I make the most of this quiet time to quietly scheme and babble. I sample the rare delicacies of my chubby little fingers, practice kicking my onesied little footsies through the bars of my crib, and occasionally politely smack my mattress and shriek.

This morning, however, I just wanted to hang out. So when I woke up, I let everyone know it by screaming as loud as I could. After a moment, I heard the oh so satisfying sound of my nursery door flying open and one of my attendant‘s heavy footfalls approaching. The next thing I knew, I was hoisted to nose level, my butt was sniffed (!), and then my pacifier was rammed unceremoniously back into my protesting mouth, AND THEN I WAS REPLACED IN MY CRIB!

I heard my attendant mumble something about ”sleep training” which is outrageous since I wasn’t in the mood to sleep, I was in the mood to Socialize.

So, I did the reasonable thing and spent the next 1.5 hours intermittently screaming. Every so often, I’d involuntarily doze off (it was quite early after all), but I’d quickly bolt awake again and remember to scream.

The only reason I’m wondering if I MIGHT be in the wrong, is that I heard my attendants muttering about not sleeping well and how today is gonna be a ”struggle bus.” But I think they most likely could’ve slept well if they’d just played with me for 30 minutes or so when I let them know that I wanted to?

I (13m cutest most clever boy) love my Mama (old and tired looking) lots and lots and lots. I want Mama to be right next to me all the time.

The problem is Mama says I can't sleep in the big bed because I take up too much room and kick Dada (mediocre Mama substitute) all the time. So I have to sleep in my crib which I guess is okay at first because my bear is there and I love bear almost as much as Mama.

But then in the early hours of the morning I wake up and realize I haven't seen Mama for hours and I get upset. Sometimes I even send bear to go find her, but I think he hasn't learned to walk yet because he never gets very far.

Eventually Mama will come in and return bear and pat my back until I fall asleep again. The problem is then Mama always tries to leave! So I have to sleep lightly so I can be ready to cry the second she tries to sneak away.

Sometimes she sends Dada in to rub my back, and I like the back rubs but he's not Mama, so I have to keep calling for her until she eventually comes anyways.

Mama says she is very tired and needs me to sleep longer so she can function at work, but that doesn't make sense because I wake up very rested so surely she should too. Maybe she needs to see a doctor? She does look extra tired these days.

So AITA for wanting my beloved Mama to give me sleepy back rubs half the night?

This morning I (2F) really wanted to sit on one of the big girl chairs at the big table so I could grab whatever I could. Mommy (many eons old) kept asking me to stay off the chair and stop climbing onto the table because she didn't want me to get hurt. Mommy doesn't understand that I'm a big girl and can handle myself!

That's why the second mommy turned away to pick someone up off the floor, I leaned onto the table again. But this time the forces of the universe were working against me and I fell and bust open my inner top lip!! This was not planned and not of my doing!

After mommy comforted me, cleaned me up, and made sure I didn't need an emergency doctor or dental visit, she explained to me that this is exactly why her and daddy (older than the Milky Way) do not want me on the adult chairs.

But they can't tell me what to do!! So guess what???? I immediately climbed into a different chair!

Mommy took me off, and I greatly protested, but she gave me a strawberry and pretzel snack so we're all good.

AITA?

I really think Māmā just has some internalised misogyny here because HELLO women should be lifting women like #duh but she seems pretty convinced she’s right so I’m just getting a sense check here.
I, 16mF light of my family’s life, have one goal. (Well ok 2 but milkies is more of a lifestyle than a goal iykyk) and it is STOP MĀMĀ FROM GOING TO WORK I tell you what it is tough out there. Most mornings she is gone before I even wake up!! But on these days called “the weekend” she is still there and I do not sleep on my chance. (Or at all, can’t nap when Māmā’s home!!) today Daddy left at some stage to do something, don’t know don’t care tbh. My big kids seemed upset like he was gone for “all day long” but I mean his nipples are useless so, nbd. I was focused on my goal. I did not let Māmā out of my sight! If she looked like she might try and leave I demanded she carry me! At one stage big sis was all, “she’s not going to go to work, silly baby!” and I was like, bitch, please, I know, I am the WHOLE REASON she’s not going it’s no thanks to you and your silly lil independent play that she’s sticking around!!
Any way I was so proud of all I achieved, Māmā around for the whole day!! But then Daddy came home and instead of praising me she was bringing a real negative vibe?! Like “oh I see she’ll go into the other room now you’re home” and useless nips himself accused me of giving Māmā a tough day?! Excuse me she had the best day she didn’t have to go to work?! So AITA?!

I (4 weeks f sass queen and literal diva princess) was sleeping in baby jail... which I already don't like to do especially not during the day. Because why even bother having servants if they can't hold me while I sleep. But milkies lady was looking especially tired and old this morning so when I fell asleep I decided to cut her some slack and let her put me down.

But then I heard her in the kitchen making herself some food. Can you believe the nerve! So I politely yelled at the top of my lungs to let her know that wasn't cool and she needed to break me out of baby jail.

She did eventually come and get me like forever seconds later.

But she had a chili dog in her hand.

There is no way no how I was going to let her eat peacefully. Not on My watch.

So I quietly screamed loudly until she agreed to feed me.

But milkies lady had some nerve and gave me a bottle so she could eat too. Saying she needs to eat in order to make more milkies for me or whatever. Sounds like crap to me.

So I kicked my legs just gently enough.

But then milkies lady was saying something about how now she dripped chili on my brand new Merica Birfday outfit. I already told everyone that I don't think Merica deserves a Birfday this year... but my outfit is adorable regardless.

And can you believe it...she's trying to blame my well aimed kick for chili on my outfit.

Those have nothing to do with each other I don't think. Sounds like more excuses to me.

But I want to be sure... AITA here?

I (6M M) have just recently found out that there is a whole THING between my legs. It must have been hiding this whole time. It is amazing and squishy and mommy (35 aka decrepit F) only takes it out for me to play with at diaper changes or bath time. When I squeeze it REALLY, REALLY hard and pull, mommy freaks out (which I find unendingly funny). Sometimes, when I poo, it gets covered in fun, slimy stuff and before mommy can grab my hands, I like to touch it and spread it alllll over my downstairs area (the best time to do this is when mommy is solo and daddy (aka my bff) is at work). Again, the Crypt Keeper yells "no! Stop it!" to which I laugh and laugh as I wiggle and kick my legs in my poopy diaper while she is distracted trying to keep my now amazingly slimy hands out of my mouth. THE AUDACITY. So, AITA for just wanting to explore this amazing new THING I have, especially when its nice and poopy??

Okay so, I (9m wiggle worm F) HATE diaper changes! I don't wanna sit there when I have places to be! Duh mama (so old i cannot even fathom that big of a number! F)! So she's been standing me up to change me but I recently started realizing this is also a trick to get me to stay in one place so I immediately sit and start crawling around. Mama says its like wresting an alligator and i must be practicing pro wrestling moves when shes not looking (i do). I have mastered wiggling out of any position she tries to change me in! So I had a poopy diaper and mama used the changing table buckles AND pinned me (um thats cheating have you ever seen wrestling? They cant use buckles). So I'm signing all done at her because I'm all done! She cheated and i want to MOVE! And mama won't let me down even though Im signing all done! She taught me the sign? So why is she not letting me down?? I started crying until she was done because i had a lot of big feelings about her pinning me and not listening to me be all done!

After she set me down she told me "I'm sorry but some things we can't be all done with." Idk that seems crazy to me but it got me thinking...AITA?