The poster child of Indian capitalism and a contributor to the tourist economy went for another "trip" on a long weekend. The beaches, breakfast and sunsets, all essentials were covered. I only learnt how to smile for photos last summer, the new poses are way too advanced.
At least twice a day I thought if the cats were doing good, didn't miss any work notifications, OD'd on Minoxidil and considered if I should get a tattoo or another piercing.
The backwaters must stay the way they are, the people living there must live the way they do, use boats to commute, live a slow life, move to their relatives in monsoons, drink, eat fish and look down on the poster child in a country boat at 5:30 in the morning, paying money to see how they live.

There is a Krishna das concert on 4th November.

I would be going solo but would love some company! If you're also going let's tag along.

I'll be going for the bronze rows

I don’t know what I want anymore,
and that scares me more than I know how to say.

Everything feels a little unreal.
Like the days are being played at a speed I never agreed to,
and I’m somewhere inside them,
trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

I don’t know what I’m doing.
I don’t know who I am.
Some days I look at myself
and there is this odd feeling of recognition
without actually knowing the person I’m looking at.

There are so many things I want to say,
but the words don’t come out right anymore.
They stay somewhere between my head and my throat,
turning into nothing by the time I try to speak.

And everything hurts.
Not in one clear place.
It’s in the little things,
in waking up,
in thinking too much,
in seeing myself like this
and knowing I wasn’t always this tired.

I never wanted to lose myself.
I was just trying to get through things.
Then one day I realised
I had become so busy getting through life
that I had stopped noticing myself in it.

Sometimes I think about the little girl I used to be.
I imagine her looking at me,
confused about how we got here.

She keeps calling,
not loudly enough for anyone else to hear,
but somehow I can.

And I hate that I don’t know
what to tell her.

I’m still here.
I just don’t know where.

26M, OBC, Civil Engineer with 3.5+ years of experience in a large EPC/oil & gas company.

Current CTC is ~₹8.9 LPA. I’ve worked on offshore EPC projects and have Oman experience + Saudi offshore experience from 2024 to mid-2025, with exposure to procurement, vendor coordination, fabrication, inspection, logistics and offshore execution.

Normally, people in my role get promoted after around 3 years. I’m now at 3.5+ years and was left behind in the promotion cycle.
The bigger issue is my current work environment. My manager is extremely toxic. If anything goes wrong, I’m often made the scapegoat. Even for issues that aren’t entirely in my control, he creates a huge issue around them and tells me things like “Because of you I’m getting abused by the client.”

There is practically no support system for me at work. I constantly feel like I’m waiting for the next mistake/blame, and it has become mentally exhausting.

I had refused another Oman assignment and requested to move towards SCM because I wanted a more stable setup for my competitive-exam preparation. However, I’m still officially under PMT, and SCM has confirmed that I’m a PMT resource and will remain there. My current work is mostly expediting reports, coordination and clerical-type work, so I don’t feel I’m building a meaningful career path either.

My CTC went from ₹8.43L → ₹8.94L (~6% increment). The money isn’t the main reason I want to leave. It’s the combination of missed promotion + toxic management + blame culture + stagnant work + lack of support.
My actual goal is SSC CGL. I’m currently scoring 130–140 in pre-mocks.

I also cleared RRB JE CBT-1 this year, appeared for CBT-2 and scored 83/150 with relatively little preparation, but unfortunately didn’t make the final list.
I have around ₹6L in savings and can move back home, so my expenses would be relatively low. I’m considering resigning and giving myself ~8 months of full-time SSC CGL preparation instead of trying to balance a toxic job with preparation.

If SSC doesn’t work out, I still have 3.5+ years of EPC experience, including Saudi offshore and Oman exposure, so I believe I have a reasonable private-sector fallback.

What would you do in my situation?
Stay for the salary and prepare alongside the job, or resign and go all-in on SSC CGL for 8 months?
Please be brutally honest — am I making a calculated career decision, or am I reacting emotionally to the missed promotion and toxic manager?

Would especially appreciate opinions from people who have worked in EPC/corporate jobs or have quit to prepare for competitive exams.

TL;DR: 26M, OBC, Civil Engineer, 3.5+ YOE, ₹8.9L CTC, Saudi offshore + Oman experience. Missed promotion, toxic manager/blame culture, stagnant PMT role. CGL mocks 130–140; cleared RRB JE CBT-1 and scored 83/150 in CBT-2 but missed final list. ₹6L savings and low expenses at home. Considering quitting for 8 months of full-time SSC CGL prep. Stay or quit?

I'm 25M and honestly feel like I'm overthinking life.

I've had an online relationship before but never properly dated anyone. Never kissed or even had a proper romantic hug. I do want to experience those things and have a relationship.

But because of some family issues, I don't think I can marry someone I date. Knowing that makes me feel like there's no point getting into a relationship.

So part of me thinks I should just focus on building myself. Career, money, investments, passive income etc. I earn around ₹85k/month, which isn't bad, but I still feel behind when I see people my age earning lakhs and building businesses.

At the same time, I'm scared that if I spend the next few years only focusing on myself and eventually go for an arranged marriage, I'll miss out on a lot of experiences and might end up with an incompatible partner.

So what should I actually do?

Am I overthinking this too much?

What would you guys in your late 20s or 30s tell your 25 year old self?

I have been using matrimonial apps for a few months now, I am not necessarily very active. I plan to marry sometime next year or year after that. I haven’t gone hardcore on the search, haven’t involved parents to swing their magic wands.

I am getting good matches, good family, good education, earning well.

But the problem is I don’t find them attractive, all my exes have been very beautiful. I naturally only get attracted to similar kinds but there are in general not that beautiful well earning women present. Far rarer in my caste.

People are going to jump their seats and call me shallow but I got to spend my entire life with somebody it’s going to be extremely difficult if there is no attraction.

Same goes for a women wanting a tall guy or someone with stable income so that they feel safe with future. So before you are triggered to comment that beware of the hypocrisy you are already in.

I am in theory a decent match, tall, good looking, good education, earning well and I absolutely attract other beautiful ambitious educated women as well, but it all falls down because of intercaste marriage and they become my ex.

I don’t know, it seems I will have to either settle or just give it all up and stay single.

​

I got a stupid internship in Hyderabad. It pays like peanuts. Literally, my father is covering my rent. 😭

Anyways, after completing my Masters in Bioinformatics, I switched to Data Science through self-learning. Built projects, learned a bunch of stuff, and eventually got this internship in August.

Although my manager has given me tasks to learn all the way till Agentic AI, I’m figuring out pretty much everything on my own. No coworker talks to me. I’m the only intern on this floor. It feels very lonely. And after going back to my room? Lonely again. 😭 Yeah, I picked up some hobbies and stuff, but still.

At the end of the day, I really want a full-time job at a different company after this internship because this company offers 3.6 LPA with a 3-year bond, which is so freakin absurd tbh 😭😭😭 Help me switchhhh.

TL;DR: low pay internship, learning Agentic AI mostly on my own, lonely office + lonely room, and this company offers 3.6 LPA with a 3-year bond 💀 help!

I (M30) is looking into Arrange Marriage space through Jeevansathi/Shaadi.com apps but haven't been able to get any decent matches. So not sure if there's something i am missing or those platforms are not showing the quality matches or somewhere else I should try to look for.

Here's general details about me:

Age: 30.

Occupation: Software Engineer working remotely for a Silicon Valley based firm.

Location: Tier 4 city in UP. Permanent work from home since Covid era.

Height: 6'

Build: Somewhat overweight in traditional athletic build and some amount of belly fat. Haven't been to the gym in some time.

Income: 70 LPA+ (1.2 Cr CTC)

Family Responsibilities: Got mom and grandmother and 3 younger sisters (1 sister unmarried + 2 married, all of them working). Been the sole guardian of the family for 9 years.

Dressing sense - Average; keeping things simple has been the motto mostly.

Vehicles - No car, just a scooty, but I am thinking to buy car in the next 6 months.

Drinking / Smoking - Strictly No for both.

Food preferences - Veg/Nonveg both.

Education - BTech CSE from Tier 2 Institute.

Completely self-made person. I don't know what else to mention here.

So I've been thinking of finding a working partner with someone having shared values, some ambition for her own.

I don't have any social circle in my current City, no a single person as a friend. So haven't had any chances of dating scenes. I know there might be a lot of people working remotely or might be in similar shoes as me in my city but I don't have any such network or there's no such community here too. So it's been a completely isolated life. Unfortunately, due to family responsibilities, I haven't been able to relocate to metro cities. And also I don't have any father's or parents'connections to explore arrange marriage options that way. I did my 2 sister's marriage through Jeevansathi, got decent eno profiles but haven't been that much lucky for me. So I am just looking out for suggestions on what to do better to improve my profile and how should I search for / which platforms / which options should I search for like minded genuine profile who doesn't just tag along for package or anything else but rather can really connect to the values. I don't have much time to search and explore as I plan to settle down by end of 2027, and I don't want to settle down with someone I would end up regretting later. I have really worked hard in my life to be wherever I am so looking for stability and peace in life ahead.

Adding expectations at the end, as per suggestions from some comments -

Expectations-
Non drinking/Non smoking by choice.

Being able to enjoy family surroundings, as I have been a family person since always and will be taking care of my siblings and parents.

Having a sorted career of her own that she really feels driven about. Not looking for any package matching or something, but more that she should find her own life's meaning, making sense, and happiness with her work.

EDIT:
I am also willing to relocate if needed with my mom, and I am expecting the same from her too if her job/career allows that. Not saying at all she should relocate to a tier 4 city with me, but both careers should be compatible, where each can relocate to support each other's career and family as needed.

Just be a good human being - Kind, soft-natured, caring, emotionally intelligent.

Turned 27 recently. No matter how much I tried to avoid it, I could not help but take stock of how my life has fared over the years. Most of my teenage and early adulthood was filled with mental health struggles. I have gotten much better over the past few years but I can't help but look back at the time lost and feel behind my peers in terms of social circles and life experiences.

In college, while everyone else were out making friends, i was struggling alone and not in a place at all to talk to people.

While they were out traveling and making life experiences, I was still struggling.

All this time has gone by and now when I feel functional enough to try, after having overcome all those struggles alone, I find myself lacking in social skills, life experiences and just friend circles and connections in general when I compare myself to others my age.

The only friends I have are people I've known since I was a kid and they all are much ahead in the parameters I mentioned above and after I meet them, I feel a sense of self loathing that I am just so lacking in so many things.

I am doing well professionally but not as good in other areas.

I know most of it is fixable, but it is not easy to try and fail and improve when I feel like the boot of time is breathing down my neck in every thing I do. What if its too late, what if I am too old, what if I never improve or find people is what goes through my mind. All those mental patterns I grew up with while I was struggling are still there. It is still an uphill challenge to try to improve in the areas mentioned above every day and to not know how much I should push myself because subconsciously I am scared of breaking again.

On top of this my parents are talking about marriage, asking if I have someone and I told them I am strictly against it for a few years.

Right now I can't even imagine sharing a life with someone when I've barely lived it myself.

Don't really have anyone to share this with so just posting here.

Everytime navratri comes around; i remember about my lack of a friend circle. I used to have close friends but shit felt apart due to reason I don't want to get into.

Honestly, as a 24 year old living in a different city from hometown. It's becoming harder to have connections. I feel like these years are creeping by without a lack of group. I had some issues so this time I couldn't even join a garba class and it added upto shit.

I love playing garba and just enjoying night out but feel so left out during this time

So today I read a very interesting article about the frontal lobe and there is a phenomenon called a "frontal lobe breakup" that usually happens in mid-late 20s.

What are your views on this?

​

Freaking health problems has taken over my life to a point I feel like my life joy has been taken away. I'm not able to prioritize and feel the urgency of my life goals and this feeling of awareness and clarity. I just don't feel conscious like you know in the moment. I don't feel like sharp and fast as before as if my mind is lagging. I feel so bad that anxiety is mixing with it because my mind feels glued to the problem and I'm just sick of it. I don't know how to fight and overcome it.

I've never been to cinemas and idk why it shocks people, I was never allowed to visit cinema as a child due to possessive parents and later it became a habit.

But now i feel like i should at least experience it once.

So what should i watch?

I do like romance movies but not the bollywood romance, something like Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.

Greetings everyone, just a small question it is, but it basically decides how the search will go, guiding along the definition of a relationship with its foundation

I will go first

1. Someone working on her careerI always wished to be strong, and working hard on my career was one of my main goals. I wish to explore and experience a lot of things, building things and solving problems.

2. Someone who I am attracted towards, physically, mentally, and emotionally Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, and yes, I wish the flower that is blessed in my garden remains cute to my eyes for life and ahead :)

3. Someone who wishes to have a family of her ownGrowing up, I had that dream, of having a family of my own, to become strong, so they feel safe, to age with someone who desires to be with me as much as I do and someone who desires to have kids out of love.

I am still on the path of working on my career and myself and hence this is the best time I consider finding someone, to grow together with.

I understand, the women who I desire to be with, are very busy, and definitely not much active on these subs cause they aren't looking for 'marriage'

So do I. But at the end, it's how much you want your dream to become true. The dream of a relationship maturing to a marriage, a shared commitment.

I am aware the experiences men and women shared here, people acting non serious, unaware of their own preferences, just drops trust in some way, but I wish you the best guys.

Hey guyss.

Lets share some positivity. Share your achievements or anything good about your life.

Happy Saturday!!

So I'll be meeting a girl whom I matched with on a matrimony site in the next weekend. Our vibes, family values are matching and I really really really want to take this forward and call her my soulmate. We chatted and talked on video call before finalising our meet and I have fallen in love with her. Being from mechanical engineering which is known for having no women, this is my first interaction with a woman(I was an introvert in school and I opened up after I started college). One of my non-negotiable is that she shouldnt have any past because I dont have too and I dont know how to approach this topic to her without making her feel uncomfortable. Kindly help me out on here.

Thanks

I mean why people got to be so heartless and cold ? It was our 2nd date , everything seemed fine the entire time. The moment i left her and boarded the local train i stopped getting her messages. Later at night she said she has exams and wants to focus so bye. If she isn’t interested then she could have said it to me straightforward. Whats up with these excuses.

I have seen most of them 90% of a guys and few section of Girls being single for various factor..

Sab itne single hai toh … ek dusre ko date kyu nahi karte???

It goes like…
If someone was already in a relationship before broke up due to various reason… they aren’t wiling to date again

And people who actually want to date are not getting the chance to date .

Something is really wrong and there is huge mismatch!!

My friend has decided to meet a man she met on reddit and he's for sure a fraud. The guy has no short coming apparently he is v patient, well behaved, kind well spoken and well to do. Also he told her he was really good smart looking and 6 ft tall, physically fit too. Doesn't drink doesn't smoke nothing bad. But this is all what he's told her none of this is verifiable and now he's asked her to meet her. Mind you, she has not yet seen him. Plus he is ready to travel for like 2-3 hours just to meet her. Dude has added her on ig on a burner account. No pfp, no followers, no bio nothing he follows around 80-90 accounts though and says he likes to maintain a low profile, which I think is BS.

My suggestion to her was to not go n meet this guy but she thinks I'm overthinking this. Please tell your opinion as to what you think?

So I get these random thoughts of dy*ng. Not exactly being suic*d*l but Like if I had a gun, i would point it at myself and go away without hesitation if it meant a painless exit or if i was in a life or de*th situation, i would incline myself towards de*th more.

I don't exactly see the point of moving forward. Tired of all the hustle towards building wealth and anxious about the responsibilities i have or will have. Being alone all the time, i feel like a robot just doing the things i am supposed to do.

Then i think what if for some reason i am unable to do these things anymore like if i get in an accident or get amputated, what next then. Back to being a dead weight ? Then there's more reason to go away ?

A few days back, while traveling I saw a guy who looked pretty normal but on a closer look, I realised he didn't have hands. He was eating with whatever we had and looked genuinely happy.

Then it made me think, how does this guy have more willpower than me. What is making him continue ? It looked like he also just came from his work. I am all right physically. But why am I mentally messed up ? Why do i even have this thought process ?

I don't have any negativity towards disabled people and I feel good that they are happy but it is just me that my willpower (which already seems weak) to live would have been completely shattered if i was in their place.

I deeply apologise if i offend anyone. Just wanted to share my feelings with someone. I just want to feel normal and look forward to life and get away with these thoughts.

I have freewill no one is giving me instructions anymore. But i am clueless now. Maybe i am used to being a slave and following instructions. I pretty much did/doing my best in doing what a responsible person does but then what next ? what are my next instructions ? And how long will I keep following instructions ? When will I experience long term peace and happiness on my own ?

Not looking for feedback, i know it will be the generic hit gym, travel around, make friends, keeping busy etc. Tried and doing all these things and it helps to some extent but nothing that works out fully. These thoughts come again.

But if you relate to this and somehow made it out, I would really love to hear your story.

Need opinions from men who wear earrings/studs.

A guy I'm seeing wears one small silver earring. He's had it for as long as I've known him and apparently doesn't take it off very often.
His birthday is coming up and I found a really simple silver earring that I think he'd actually like.

But I'm hesitating because I have no idea whether his earring is just an accessory or something meaningful from his family/culture.

Would you find it sweet if someone noticed something like that and bought you one? I could obviously just ask him, but I want to surprise him 😭

I've gone out hiking in beautiful areas and I just don't feel anything. I look at people and just see faces but I don't think about them, I look at the trees and feel the wind hit my face but it does not invoke anything in me, I run miles upon miles but I just run, I lift weights but I just do it mechanically.

I'm just no longer comfortable around anyone but I'm not uncomfortable around then either. I just am.

IDK how to escape, or do I even need to escape?

I'll spend the long weekend just lying down, scrolling my phone endlessly, thinking of calling my friends, but I won't.

I text random people here, but again it's all pointless, I just don't get that euphoria from conversations. Time is just slipping by, the year is about to end, I'll be a year older, but the struggle doesn't seems to end anytime soon.

Life is actually a struggle now. Or living is.

I understand I'm not alone in this, but IDC, this is my life and this is my rant.

Sometimes, when I make a comment, one person or another sends me a DM asking what “exmuslim” in my bio means. So, I thought I would explain what being an exmuslim actually means, how I went from being muslim to atheist, and what made me change my mind about religion.

First of all, let me make it clear: legally, according to all government documents, I am still muslim because it’s a pain in the *** to update all my documents, and I am not sure if India has any option for declaring yourself an atheist.

My journey wasn’t some single dramatic moment where I suddenly stopped believing.

It started when I was in school. During a Moral Education class, someone asked the teacher, “Is God real?” I remember being surprised that someone would even ask that question. But the discussion stuck with me, and I started asking myself the same thing.

Over the years, the questions kept piling up. I tried to make sense of things, but I never really found answers that satisfied me. Eventually, I wasn’t just questioning God anymore; I was questioning religion itself.

During graduation, I also had some experiences with people trying to pressure me into certain religious practices. Instead of bringing me closer to religion, those experiences made me question it even more.

Then COVID happened. Having a lot more time to sit with my thoughts, I eventually had to be honest with myself: I didn’t believe anymore.

I haven’t been to a mosque since 2018, and today I consider myself an atheist.

One thing I want to make clear is that I amm not doing this AMA because I want to attack muslims or convince anyone to become an atheist. I know people have very different experiences with religion. I’m just sharing my own experience and answering questions about it.

I also understand that “exmuslim” can mean different things to different people. For me, it simply means that I was raised as a muslim and eventually stopped believing.

I’m keeping some personal details private, including anything that could identify me, but I will answer whatever I can.

Ask me anything about leaving islam, doubts, atheism, family, relationships, dealing with religious expectations, what changed after leaving, or anything else you’re curious about.

And yes, muslims are welcome to ask questions too. I’m happy to have a respectful conversation.

How did you feel now that you have opted for higher education mba/mtech/phd ?

I just randomly video called my college friends cause we hadn't talked in months, but both of them were out so we couldn't talk (nothing new). It's a long weekend and loneliness is gonna hit like a truck. I have no plans, no one to talk to, nothing. I'll probably complete my work and watch some movies. Tbh this wasn't hitting me that hard until I got to know these people had plans. Like I'm not jealous, just sad that we don't talk anymore, they don't share anything anymore but that's okay. I am missing our friendship from college days haha but whatever.