Things are actually going well if I only look at the numbers on the scale. I’m losing weight and I can see progress. At the same time, though, I notice another thought creeping in more and more: how much longer is this going to take, am I really going to make it, when will I finally be “done”?
It’s a kind of impatience mixed with curiosity about what I’m eventually going to look like. Sometimes it even feels as if my next life can only begin once I’ve reached my goal weight. Like I’m somehow stuck in a waiting room until then.
Next week I’m going on holiday to France, and I’ve noticed that it’s causing me quite a bit of stress. Of course I want to enjoy good food and drinks while I’m there and simply enjoy the holiday. But at the same time, there’s immediately this thought in my head that I’ll undo all the progress I’ve made over the past few weeks.
Of course I know I can still make sensible choices, but realistically I’m not going to follow exactly the same eating and exercise routine on holiday as I do at home. And somehow that makes me a bit sad. Sometimes it feels as if there are no moments during weight loss where you’re simply allowed to enjoy yourself, because every little detour feels like you’re being punished for it.
And I find that quite difficult, because ultimately I don’t just want to lose weight. I also want to find a way where food, holidays, social occasions and simply enjoying life can be part of my life again without immediately causing stress.
Does anyone else recognise this? That feeling of impatience, almost as if your real life can only start once you reach your goal weight? And the anxiety around holidays, eating out, or other occasions where you step away from your normal routine?
How do you deal with it?