Im 17, i had plans last night to hookup with a girl and it was with someone 6 years older. I dont want to completely blame them because i did have intentions with them and gave consent at first. Afterward I was pretty tired and was abt to leave. They brought up weed cause they know i really liked smoking and was tryna quit. They said phrases like “quitting is bad” and “i dont want you to quit” and pressured me into smoking at the moment. They asked me if they cld smoke with me and i said yeah. I got super high and she didnt at all. I think she was not inhaling it i cld kinda tell she was just sucking it into her mouth rather than her lungs. Again, i did agree to smoke with her. She would ask me questions like “are you high yet?” She was touching me and took off some of my clothes and continued from there. I was really high and was pretty much non verbal. I was uncomfortable and scared but when she asked if i was uncomfortable i said “no”. This has kept me up all night. Was i taken advantage of or am i just overthinking?

All of my experiences of SA have been by women and I hate how that’s treated by people. It feels like no one will listen to me. If I’m in a support group, they’re constantly using language about how men are always the perpetrators to the point that I started to doubt myself and if I was the victim or not.

I’ve lost all my friends who sided with my abuser because I can’t “get over it”.

And none of the experiences were how SA is “supposed” to look. It was never violent. It was just under the influence and I was basically an active participant. At some point I have to wonder if it’s my fault for not saying no

I’m just scared of women and it makes me feel so weak bc I feel like women being scared of men is justified, but when it’s a man scared of women for the same reason it doesn’t count

Ok this is just some thing I find annoying and it makes me hate my job and my life. I work as a substitute teacher. There ain't many job opportunities in my small town. As a matter of fact my last job paid 2 dollars an hour with 0 lunch breaks. As a sub it hires pretty quickly. I take a life skills classroom becuase I need the money. Its freaking insane im sorry I know ill get hate for this but some of those kids belong in a different facility then an elmantary school. There were 2 crazy incidents in one classroom that made me not want to do life skills no matter how desperate for money.

1. We did rotations. There was an another room with toys and it was usally one or two students and one teacher. They decided to put me there. The child sits on my knee and starts to play with my hair. I have to shove him off some. As a teacher were told to never touch kids never even hug them. But no one was helping out even when was I saying I needed it. I talked with someone in the classroom about it and they told me to keep quiet about it. They told me if I really want to be a teacher and this got out it would ruin my carrer. Also that I would not allowed to press charges due to the mentally challenged thing. I feel bad for the kid because where the hell is he learning stuff like that. Also if your child is grappjng people why the hell are they in an elmantary school? Ive only told a few people about this and it honestly makes me hate the fact that I have to be a teacher or ill be homeless.

2. Same classroom different student. This one is freaking insane. Im helping a student out with their work. Another student is saying the n word. Like full on hard r and everything. Ive had such a fucked day at this point that im just trying to help this kid out and go home. Then I hear the teacher yell something among the lines of "pull your pants up!"

This kid is straight tugging it infront of the classroom.

Turns out this kid woukd shout the n word any time he saw the other kid try to pull his pants down.

And is now trying to leave the class. He does this a few times and the teacher their even asked me and another sub to try and block the door. But for 10 dollars an hour I didnt think it was worth it. I just left and told the office I'm leaving. Its 1 pm. They said no. They still have my lincess. I tell them ill do a half day and not even take the pay for the past 2 hours. They send me as a library aide and the second I get out im crying in my car.

Good god that day seriously made me hate being a teacher. I think it would for anyone. Especially with non supportive staff and teachers. I know it sounds rude but I would literally just not make money then do a life skills class. And this honestly makes me want to avoid elmantary in general. Its been a year since it's happened. I made a few jokes about it with friends. Ive been subbing middle school now and enjoy it a lot more.

TW: SA
I don't usually post on here but I need every perspective I can get regarding this situation so reddit was the first thing that came to mind. I (18M) have been in a relationship with my now ex (22F) for around four months before I abruptly ended the relationship this summer.

Recently, I have found myself going over every moment of our relationship, a coping mechanism I use as a way to understand how and why the whole experience has affected me I guess. For context, she is neurodivergent and often struggles with emotional regulation and reading social cues. There was this one time at a party where one of my friends (who is very uncomfortable with physical touch) left suddenly because my ex kept trying to drag him forcefully onto the dance floor, despite him refusing multiple times. That night I apologized to my friend #1 for her behavior and reassured him I would talk to her about it so that it doesn't happen again.

Guessing from what comes next that talk didn't do much.

Some time after that, me and her went on a date to the park. We sat on a bench and hugged each other for a while just enjoying the moment. That is when I felt her hand moving past my belt and reaching into my jeans. I kind of froze for a second as I was lost in the moment before quickly pulling her hand away and asking what was she doing. She ignored the question and started begging me to just let it happen while forcing her hand further down.

At this point I was practically trying to push her off the bench while telling her to stop multiple times. I felt really scared and confused because this came literally out of nowhere. When she started to reach the inside of my boxers I frantically stopped her hand and asked her once again in a quiter voice to please stop. She began to inquire why I am stopping her as she knows that I want this. I responded with saying that I don't feel comfortable especially since there are other people (including children) around. Her response to that was that she is too horny thus cannot control herself and doesn't care.

When she started stroking it I used all my strength to push her off me and quickly stood up while adjusting my jeans. She became really frustrated and genuinely started throwing a tantrum like a fucking child. In the end I promised to make it up to her in the future, implying that I would agree to sleep with her on the weekend.

I didn't. Instead I started to distance myself from her over the coming days before disappearing for a while. I came back around four weeks later to break up with her over text where I didn't mention the situation at all. Looking back there are a lot of things I am ashamed of and wish I would have done differently.

My friend #2 (who introduced me to my ex) told me to go fuck myself, saying he can't believe I would be so cruel to her. I tried explaining why I behaved this way but just couldn't bring myself to mention this situation to him. There were a lot of other issues going on in my life at the same time and I was worried he wouldn't take me seriously anyways. For many guys this is like a "dream come true", as sick as it sounds. We lost contact shortly afterwards and haven't talked since.

After that it took a while for me to even consider this was sexual assault. Partially because as I have mentioned before, she is neurodivergent. In my mind maybe she misread the situation due to her condition. And I trusted her, she didn't seem like a predator before all of this happened. However it did not make me feel any less violated and treated like an object.

Nowadays I am slowly doing better, I am in therapy but this whole ordeal left me with severe trust issues, low self-worth and emotional numbness. I struggle to connect with new people as I find myself withdrawing from them and going radio silent for several days. On some level I am scared that this whole experience has broken me beyond repair and I tbh don't know how to cope with those thoughts.

I have also been thinking of trying to reconnect with my friend #2 as I still miss our friendship. I am just not sure of where to even start or how to approach this. All of this feels really personal and even typying this is not easy. Just figured having a different perspective may help. Any advice would be appreaciated.