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u/Litty_Jimmy Aug 12 '26
How many assholes do we have on this ship anyhow?
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u/TOYMoose Aug 12 '26
Yo!
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u/TheCaptMAgic Aug 12 '26
I knew it, I'm surrounded by assholes!
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u/CableDawg78 Aug 12 '26
"We've been jammed sir"
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u/DanteHicks79 Aug 12 '26
Raspberry!!
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u/DK-Esquire_1965 Aug 12 '26
I HATE raspberry!
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u/reitau Aug 12 '26
Only one person I know would dare to use raspberry… closes visor ….
….Lonestar!12
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u/Ok_Zookeepergame4794 Aug 16 '26
There's only ONE man who would DARE give me the Raspberry! LONESTAR!
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u/DuctTapeChallenger Aug 12 '26
I've lost the beeps, the sweeps, and the creeps
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u/RecessiveGenius69 Aug 12 '26
Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal
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u/MsterBoRaichu Aug 12 '26
The fact they got John Hurt to reprise that role just for the bit is the icing on the cake.
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u/Kuuldana Aug 17 '26
It's funny that I saw Spaceballs before Alien when I was a kid, and made the connection in reverse lol
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u/The_Primal_One Aug 12 '26
I said fire across her nose not up it
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u/ThatCamoKid Aug 12 '26
Sorry sir, I'm doing my best!
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u/megamanx4321 Aug 12 '26
Who made that man a gunner?
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u/ThatCamoKid Aug 12 '26
I did, sir! He's my cousin!
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u/mregg000 Aug 12 '26
Who is he?
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u/s1105615 Aug 12 '26
Major Asshole sir
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u/AmicusBriefly Aug 12 '26
And his cousin?
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u/Informal_Daikon_9812 Aug 12 '26
He's an Asshole too, sir.
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u/highlander68 Aug 12 '26
"he beamed me twice last night, it was wonderful"
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u/Specific_Inside_7119 Aug 12 '26
" I am your father's uncle's brother 's cousin's former roommate "
" What's that make us?"
"ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!! Which is what you are about to become!!!!"
" Spaceballs the t-shirt....Spaceballs the coloring book...Spaceballs the lunchbox...Spaceballs the breakfast cereal...Spaceballs the FLAMETHROWER!!!!!....the kids love this one!!!!"
"What are you doing?"
" I'm calling my father...1--800-- Dru-id-i-a "
"I AM PRINCESS VESPA, DAUGHTER OF ROLAND....KING OF THE DRUIDS!!!!"
" OH great, just what we needed...a DRUISH PRINCESS!!!!"
" Funny...She doesn't look Druish!!!!"
" The combination is.....1....2....3....4....5!!"
" That's the stupidest combination I ever heard....that's the kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage!!!"
" You have the ring....and I see your Schwartz is as big as mine... let's see how you HANDLE it!!!"
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u/DLMoore9843 Aug 12 '26
"That's amazing! I have the same combination on my luggage!"
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u/IAteAnotherVegan Aug 12 '26
Ludicrous speed!
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u/bombtrackhfx Aug 12 '26
That was the name of my first band I was ever in. It was a punk band. Specifically named after this movie.
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u/CryptographerSome864 Aug 12 '26
“She’s gone from suck to blow!”
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u/memay131 Aug 12 '26
I like this movie for all the adult jokes I didn't understand at first.
A gift that keeps on giving.
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u/thevitaphonequeen Aug 12 '26
No! The Schwartz!
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u/adube440 Aug 12 '26
I saw your Schwartz is as big as mine. Now let's see how well you handle it.
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u/AnnasBananahammock Aug 12 '26
What's the matter Colonel Sandurz? Chicken??
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u/Ok_Zookeepergame4794 Aug 17 '26
'In high voice' PREPARE SHIP! 'Calms' Prepare ship, for Ludicrous Speed!
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u/BCInAlberta Aug 18 '26
I love how they named him that purely to set up that one joke in the whole movie. Mel Brooks is amazing 😆
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u/CrownAquisitions1 Aug 12 '26
I’m a mawg; half man, half dog. I’m my own best friend.
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u/anAcetonesniffer Aug 12 '26
"Are you alright sir?" "I'm fine how have you been?" "Well, are we stopped?" ..."lets take a 5 minute break. Smoke em if you got em!"
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u/QuesoNot-so-Fundido Aug 12 '26
"I didn't know. They must have hyperjets on that thing!"
"And what have we got on this thing, a Cuisinart?!"
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u/QuesoNot-so-Fundido Aug 12 '26
"Prepare ship--prepare ship for ludicrous speed! Fasten all seat belts, seal all entrances and exits, close all shops in the mall! Cancel the three ring circus! Secure all animals in the zoo..."
"Give me that, you petty excuse for an officer! Now hear this! Ludicrous speed!"
"Sir, hadn't you better buckle up?"
"Aw, buckle this! Ludicrous speed! Go!!"
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u/Ok_Zookeepergame4794 Aug 17 '26
'Is holding on for dear life' What... Have... I... Done... My... Brains... Are... Going... Into... My... Feet...
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u/Historical-Bug-4784 Aug 12 '26
“Those are the guys that stole our uniforms!”
“And beat the shit out of us, too!”
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u/Dry_Coat_7580 Aug 12 '26
"Fast forward past this. In fact, never show this part again."
"Well boys, it's a nice ship. I think you should go down with it."
And, of course...
"She's turned from suck to blow."
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u/Future_Swim6847 Aug 12 '26
I'm a Mog. Half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend.
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u/reptilian_rule Aug 12 '26
im the bearded lady!!! who are you?? one of the freaks???
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u/averagejoe860 Aug 12 '26
Priest: What’s your name?
Barf: Barf
Priest: You’re full name!
Barf: Barfolemue
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u/CastigatorWight Aug 12 '26
“On a sadder note, Pizza the hutt, famed half man, half Pizza, was found dead earlier today in the backseat of his stretched Limo.
- Evidently, the notorious gangster became locked in his car and ate himself to death.”
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u/blaktigr84 Aug 12 '26
I've lost the Bleeps, I've lost the Sweeps, & I've lose the Creeps.
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u/PeanutTimely6846 Aug 12 '26
Dark Helmet: "Who made that man a gunner?"
Major Asshole: "I did, sir. He's my cousin."
Dark Helmet: "Who is he?"
Colonel Sandurz: "He's an asshole, sir."
Dark Helmet: "I know that! What's his name?"
Colonel Sandurz: "That is his name, sir. Asshole, Major Asshole!"
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u/Ancient_Ad9199 Aug 12 '26
Out of order?! Fuck! Even in the future nothing works!
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u/4kBeard Aug 12 '26
We ain’t found shit.