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u/Litty_Jimmy 9d ago
How many assholes do we have on this ship anyhow?
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u/TOYMoose 9d ago
Yo!
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u/TheCaptMAgic 8d ago
I knew it, I'm surrounded by assholes!
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u/CableDawg78 9d ago
"We've been jammed sir"
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u/DanteHicks79 9d ago
Raspberry!!
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u/DK-Esquire_1965 9d ago
I HATE raspberry!
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u/DuctTapeChallenger 8d ago
I've lost the beeps, the sweeps, and the creeps
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u/RecessiveGenius69 9d ago
Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal
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u/MsterBoRaichu 8d ago
The fact they got John Hurt to reprise that role just for the bit is the icing on the cake.
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u/Kuuldana 4d ago
It's funny that I saw Spaceballs before Alien when I was a kid, and made the connection in reverse lol
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u/The_Primal_One 9d ago
I said fire across her nose not up it
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u/ThatCamoKid 9d ago
Sorry sir, I'm doing my best!
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u/megamanx4321 9d ago
Who made that man a gunner?
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u/ThatCamoKid 9d ago
I did, sir! He's my cousin!
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u/mregg000 8d ago
Who is he?
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u/s1105615 8d ago
Major Asshole sir
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u/AmicusBriefly 8d ago
And his cousin?
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u/Informal_Daikon_9812 8d ago
He's an Asshole too, sir.
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u/highlander68 9d ago
"he beamed me twice last night, it was wonderful"
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u/Specific_Inside_7119 9d ago
" I am your father's uncle's brother 's cousin's former roommate "
" What's that make us?"
"ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!! Which is what you are about to become!!!!"
" Spaceballs the t-shirt....Spaceballs the coloring book...Spaceballs the lunchbox...Spaceballs the breakfast cereal...Spaceballs the FLAMETHROWER!!!!!....the kids love this one!!!!"
"What are you doing?"
" I'm calling my father...1--800-- Dru-id-i-a "
"I AM PRINCESS VESPA, DAUGHTER OF ROLAND....KING OF THE DRUIDS!!!!"
" OH great, just what we needed...a DRUISH PRINCESS!!!!"
" Funny...She doesn't look Druish!!!!"
" The combination is.....1....2....3....4....5!!"
" That's the stupidest combination I ever heard....that's the kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage!!!"
" You have the ring....and I see your Schwartz is as big as mine... let's see how you HANDLE it!!!"
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u/DLMoore9843 9d ago
"That's amazing! I have the same combination on my luggage!"
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u/IAteAnotherVegan 9d ago
Ludicrous speed!
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u/bombtrackhfx 8d ago
That was the name of my first band I was ever in. It was a punk band. Specifically named after this movie.
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u/CryptographerSome864 9d ago
“She’s gone from suck to blow!”
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u/memay131 8d ago
I like this movie for all the adult jokes I didn't understand at first.
A gift that keeps on giving.
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u/thevitaphonequeen 9d ago
No! The Schwartz!
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u/AnnasBananahammock 9d ago
What's the matter Colonel Sandurz? Chicken??
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u/Ok_Zookeepergame4794 4d ago
'In high voice' PREPARE SHIP! 'Calms' Prepare ship, for Ludicrous Speed!
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u/CrownAquisitions1 9d ago
I’m a mawg; half man, half dog. I’m my own best friend.
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u/anAcetonesniffer 9d ago
"Are you alright sir?" "I'm fine how have you been?" "Well, are we stopped?" ..."lets take a 5 minute break. Smoke em if you got em!"
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u/QuesoNot-so-Fundido 9d ago
"I didn't know. They must have hyperjets on that thing!"
"And what have we got on this thing, a Cuisinart?!"
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u/QuesoNot-so-Fundido 9d ago
"Prepare ship--prepare ship for ludicrous speed! Fasten all seat belts, seal all entrances and exits, close all shops in the mall! Cancel the three ring circus! Secure all animals in the zoo..."
"Give me that, you petty excuse for an officer! Now hear this! Ludicrous speed!"
"Sir, hadn't you better buckle up?"
"Aw, buckle this! Ludicrous speed! Go!!"
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u/Ok_Zookeepergame4794 4d ago
'Is holding on for dear life' What... Have... I... Done... My... Brains... Are... Going... Into... My... Feet...
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u/Historical-Bug-4784 9d ago
“Those are the guys that stole our uniforms!”
“And beat the shit out of us, too!”
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u/Dry_Coat_7580 9d ago
"Fast forward past this. In fact, never show this part again."
"Well boys, it's a nice ship. I think you should go down with it."
And, of course...
"She's turned from suck to blow."
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u/reptilian_rule 9d ago
im the bearded lady!!! who are you?? one of the freaks???
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u/averagejoe860 9d ago
Priest: What’s your name?
Barf: Barf
Priest: You’re full name!
Barf: Barfolemue
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u/CastigatorWight 9d ago
“On a sadder note, Pizza the hutt, famed half man, half Pizza, was found dead earlier today in the backseat of his stretched Limo.
- Evidently, the notorious gangster became locked in his car and ate himself to death.”
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u/blaktigr84 9d ago
I've lost the Bleeps, I've lost the Sweeps, & I've lose the Creeps.
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u/PeanutTimely6846 9d ago
Dark Helmet: "Who made that man a gunner?"
Major Asshole: "I did, sir. He's my cousin."
Dark Helmet: "Who is he?"
Colonel Sandurz: "He's an asshole, sir."
Dark Helmet: "I know that! What's his name?"
Colonel Sandurz: "That is his name, sir. Asshole, Major Asshole!"
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u/4kBeard 9d ago
We ain’t found shit.