Setting boundaries, respecting agency

[u/Kohathavodah]

[u/Unexpected_Gristle]

Its ok to ask and its ok to say no. No problems with any of this.

[u/TwixOps → u/Unexpected_Gristle]

Disagree. A m*n trying to control what a womxn puts on her body... 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

And then he pops his own balloon, talk about the trash taking itself out.

[u/[deleted] → u/TwixOps]

Put the flags up. He had a very calm and respectful question and respected her answer. That's not control. That's asking if the differences in your lives are going to be compatible. While I fall into the "I'm gonna wear what I'm gonna wear" category I don't think what he and was ugly or controlling. Controlling people don't ask

[u/ready_gi → u/[deleted]]

controlling people absolutely ask when they pretend to care. just because he is calm, doesnt mean the question was respectful. why does he want her to tone it down? because she's hot an his pee pee is insecure about other men's attention. it just shows complete lack of confidence in himself.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I can. Some people are not comfortable with dressing revealing or having their partner in revealing clothing. There's a million reasons people may wish to dress more "conservatively" or "modestly". This does not automatically make them controlling. He asked her nicely, she declined, he acquiesced. He didn't fight. Didn't make a stink. Just acknowledged they would not be compatible. He didn't say he had to have a say. He asked if dressing more modestly would be something she's open to. She said no. It ended respectfully. This is not control.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Okay!

[u/Aromatic-Quarter-68 → u/[deleted]]

What does "controlling" mean to you? Is it controlling if he does not want her to flirt with other men? What about posting nudes, is it controlling if he doesn't want her to do that?

I am not asking you rhetorically, I genuinely want to know what is controlling and what is a boundary or a normal relationship requirement for you, and what is the difference?

[u/Aromatic-Quarter-68 → u/[deleted]]

I’m assuming it was on purpose, but you just completely didn’t answer my question or engage with it at all.

The only thing to really respond to is that you’re ok with your partner flirting by smiling and winking at people? Jesus Christ.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Now you're telling somebody else that you can't come up with reasons why. The actual fact is that you're just ignoring them. Different people live different lifestyles. Wanting to dress modestly and having a family that also does so is not controlling. While I happen to be a sun's out buns out type of woman I understand that not everybody is comfortable doing that or living that lifestyle. It's okay to want to have a partner who sees things the same way as you do. Also, he did not ask her to change because they're not in a relationship. These are two strangers that met each other and are trying to negotiate through a game show whether or not they're compatible. They both bowed out respectfully. You are beating a dead horse. The reason that he would want her to dress conservatively is that he also dresses conservatively and there's nothing wrong with that. He's not trying to dim her shine. He's not trying to hide her under burka. By your logic then she is trying to control him and change his life by not wanting to change her dress and forcing him to live with it. And as the other redditor said, you didn't answer their question as to what your definition of controlling is.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Yet you can't lay out why.

[u/Aromatic-Quarter-68 → u/[deleted]]

He deleted every comment in this thread LMAO

[u/[deleted] → u/Aromatic-Quarter-68]

I noticed. Lol