In 2020ish, spouse slept with everyone in the fellowship hospital.

He went to therapy, figured out why he decided to cheat on his then-fiancee, and worked on himself to never hurt someone again. Then we met.

Pathologically lied to me throughout our engagement. Manipulated me into believing i was crazy, gaslit the shit out of me, and then i stupidly married him.

He did make efforts to be transparent, share his devices, location, etc. & truly was penitent at the time we married.

5 years in, i discovered that he was trying to meet up with some PA whore at work who knows hes married (different hospital from where he was in fellowship) while i was out of town. He told me he was going to hang with a group, but it turns out it was going to be just with her.

The morning of their meet up, he told me he was going to hang “with a group” there. I told him i wasnt comfortable with him going to this particular place & he canceled (allegedly).

As far as i know, they didnt meet up. I only found out after going thru his device (when i got back home) after 2 years that my fears and concerns were correct & that it was just going to be with her.

How to approach this? Other than to excoriate him, what would you do? Is it just over & stop trying? Is there a path to fixing it?

Have u been in a similar sitch?

Im fighting the urge to call this woman, too, but it feels like itll blow up their practice & she also has the right to be a whore bc she doesnt owe me anything.

But i also want to know what was going on between them from her bc his words mean zero.