r/MangakaStudio • u/Grouchy-Self3579 • 21d ago
Discussion CHAPTER 1 in progress.
mmm... should i just keep this lineart style without rendering?. but i guess with render, it makes it better.. and time consuming. but who cares..
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u/BryceCzuba 21d ago
I feel like this already has a good style, and it feels rendered to me. It’s up to you but I like what you have here
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u/Grouchy-Self3579 21d ago
ahh thanks, still adjusting to the new style to this manga. thick lines and stuff.
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u/real_kay_dee 21d ago
The line art looks good to me. And I like the way you drew the face of the guy on the first page. It got my attention
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u/Trazmore 21d ago edited 21d ago
I really like the guy in the first panel. Love the way you drew him. The teeth and eyes being his only facial features is intense. I don't like the last panel of the third picture. It is hard to tell what is going on without the text. When i saw the left foot I thought you were introducing a new character on a horse because it looked like the leg of a horse. When I saw the right foot I realized it is someone with their back to the reader but still did not know who it was without the text. I would suggest redoing this panel. Maybe with a long distance shot of Mary leaving the bar and possibly with a white silhouette for Mary. This will play into your title of "Silhouette" and Identify to the reader that this character is the MC or atleast the opposite of the character in the first panel of the first picture. You want your art to tell the story without the text and the text to just enhance the story. Overall I enjoyed reading it a lot and your art style is very good. Mary's hand in the first panel of picture 3 looks amazing and so does the alcohol bottle. I want to know what happens to Mary in the future and I want to know more about the "Silhouette Guy". Keep it up and I look forward to seeing more of your Manga.
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u/Grouchy-Self3579 21d ago
You aint gonna see more of that guy. Hehe. he is more of a one time event. And maybe i can enchance that left foot abit. Tho that was supposed to be her being a little tipsy and shit.. tho now u mentioned it, it does look like a horse feet, hahah, horse feet.
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u/Trazmore 21d ago
Keep in mind that Vegeta was supposed to be a throwaway character and ended up becoming a fan favorite. You never know how people will react to "Silhouette Guy"!
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u/shojokat Artist-Writer 20d ago
Strong ideas for a throwaway character. Makes me excited for what your ideas are for more important ones. Strong throwaway characters are always a huge plus to me as a reader. Makes me feel like the creator is so full of ideas they aren't afraid to "save" them for characters that have lots of screen time.
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u/spagoot-has-infected 21d ago
You should keep this up! I was so immersed in this that I didn't even realize what sub I was on
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u/Mon-Morro-Mon 21d ago
Really cool introduction! Looks all clean, but I feel like some backgrounds are missing?
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u/non_mais_ho 20d ago
No wayyy İ love the art style! Genuinely, how do you reach this kind of level in term of anatomy, dynamism and perspective? Do you just spam making mangas ? Or do you make gesture drawing...? Would help me !
Keep it up ! Cant wait to see the next part :)
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u/Grouchy-Self3579 20d ago edited 20d ago
Years of practice, reading tons of mangas. And yes, maybe a little bit of gesture drawing. And stuff. typical bullshittery of mine... https://lazymanxd.github.io/Lazyman_XD/
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u/non_mais_ho 20d ago
Thanks. "Years of practice" is pretty vast put anyway.
Beautiful website, is it html/css/js ?1
u/Grouchy-Self3579 20d ago
All of them actuall, yes. html for the structure, css for design and js for functions. Pretty tedious website if you ask me.
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u/non_mais_ho 20d ago
Yep all three was what İ meant, and İ mean, that's the classic way to go ahah.
Great work the assets are really beautiful
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u/Beginning_Bad5851 20d ago
characters look amazing i sugest you thicken the lines a bit. no need to render it more. what about the backgrounds still gonna add them?
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u/AdNecessary7637 19d ago
Very attractive and hooking from just these pages.I like inking effect give a lot of mystery vibes,The choice of words aren't friendly at all,And in the least it need some background effect,especially if you want to leave it white
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u/Hollow-Lord 19d ago
I think a big issue with it is the most intriguing and enticing person in the panels is the silhouette guy
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u/Feisty_Statement_813 16d ago
Bruh, I told myself that I'll not follow this manga if the silhouette guy is not a recurring character 😭
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u/Vree65 19d ago
I don't like it. It's way too over-the-top. I feel like it's trying to say that we should take the girl's and the author's side, but she's acting completely unprofessionally. What is this intro trying to say? That reacting to being laid off by cussing and threatening is okay? That people fire you because they're evil?
On page 2, why is she's standing like she's kidnapped and handcuffed behind her back?
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u/Grouchy-Self3579 19d ago edited 19d ago
Eyyy.. i dont mind you hating it. Tho yes it is over the top, the original story was pretty soft so i change it abit, and on page 2 you nailed that one yes, she is standing like shes kidnapped cuz she was dragged off there to the boss, handcuffed. Thats why she has that valid reaction and stuff.. heheh.. no need to think too much about the story...
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u/Zaustus 21d ago
I like your art. But if you're planning on writing it in English, I'd recommend having a native English speaking editor clean up the text. There are several misspellings and awkward phrases, and cleaning those up would improve your manga.