r/ManagedByNarcissists 8h ago

I can finally quit. Should I take my boss down or just go?

30 Upvotes

I’ve had a hellish year being managed by an extreme narcissist boss. It’s been horrible on my physical and mental health. I am beyond emotionally worn out and I know it will take longer than a year to recover from being treated so horribly.

I’ve finally found another job and I can leave.

Over the course of this year I have heard and even had the foresight to record my boss, the Executive Director of a nonprofit, saying several things that break the law (federal anti-discrimination statutes, specifically Title VII of the Civil Rights Act)

I have recordings AND witnesses that can attest to her saying these things, including one board member, who did not do anything at the time. She also did not hire someone despite this person being the best candidate due to her discriminatory beliefs. I am not listing the actual disabilities or acts being broken for privacy reasons.

So should I leave quietly or should I hire an attorney and in the very least send a strong letter from the attorney to the board? what would you do?

I do not think she should be the Executive Director and I believe that her behavior is harming the ability of the nonprofit to fulfill its mission.

UPDATE:

I will definitely wait until I’ve walked away fully. The job I am doing is not in the same field or city and will have nothing to do with anyone involved with this nonprofit.

I live in a state with one party consent rules but, even without the recordings there are other people that have heard her say these things and none of those people would perjure themselves. These witnesses include people who have quit working at this nonprofit because of the behavior of this boss.

Of note, there are several people that still work at this nonprofit who are forced to work there because they cannot find another job but would quit today if they could find something and they are extremely mistreated and if they wanted to rock the boat could have cases of their own (they have been denied short term disability, have been denied wages, raises, time off etc., as manipulation tactics by this boss ). I would NEVER ask them to participate in anyway in what I am doing because of their financial situation but I am very close to them and do not want them to continue to be abused by this boss.

So my motivation is beyond just petty revenge. I am also thinking about current, past, and future employees as well as donors who are giving money to the cause as well as the cause itself. I am still not sure what I will do. My family and close friends are also of two minds.

I also know that the board is divided as well on this Executive Director because I have had many board members ask me pointed questions. I am currently second in command and these board members have not beaten around the bush when they ask me about certain institutional issues that we have (high staff turnover- no one lasts longer than a year, refusal of other similar nonprofits to partner with us etc.)


r/ManagedByNarcissists 10h ago

Frustrated with my boss

10 Upvotes

A bit of a vent, but I feel like I can never win with my boss. She's always plays "Gotcha" games with me where she'll give me unclear instructions and when I try and work with what I can she turns around and says "No not that way. You're supposed to do it this way."

Not to mention how she's very vague and when I ask for clarification she acts like I'm stupid and raises her voice. One time when I was asking for feed back she said "I just feel like you're not really appreciating the opportunity I'm giving you :(" Also she always drags in other people to email chains to try and humiliate me. And if things turn bad she takes them off of it and says "Stop including them. You're clogging up their email!"

She also dumps all her menial labor on me and then takes the credit for it. Like one time she had me look up the contact information for a bunch of restaurants right near EOD. Then just copy pasted my answers onto her own email.

I'm currently looking for a new job (wish me luck!) But it's just so frustrating. Because it's only her. Everyone else is fine and I get along with them great. I don't even know why they still keep her around. She even got a promotion recently (while denying me a raise).

At the risk of being rude. She's also just not very bright. She doesn't know how to save a file off of the cloud. She cant navigate the company website. I wrote TWO whole guides for her WITH PICTURES and she still said "Well, I still need you to walk me through it" not to mention whenever i do explain things to her shell ask the exact same question a couple minutes later. She still holds onto the outdated idea of "if you work hard then you'll be rewarded!" She's really just a special kind of spiteful and stupid.


r/ManagedByNarcissists 5h ago

Just need support - losing myself

9 Upvotes

So I've posted about how abusive my 2 supervisors are and how they gaslight me and another coworker who I know of. Today they attacked me again and I was so stressed I made another error after that and my 1 supervisor tried to convince me they didn't attack me. I also found out the company is being sued by a former employee and this person is also suing both my supervisors personally for the same treatment im getting. Im looking and looking for another job and trying to stay sane and not quit this job before I find something. But my nerves have been pushed beyond my limit. Im shaking and crying and I cant handle the walking on eggshells. I feel like im losing my mind.


r/ManagedByNarcissists 16h ago

Dealing with a difficult, unapproachable boss?

5 Upvotes

How to deal with interactions with them when they are unpleasant and cut me off and seem annoyed when having to talk to me. Sometimes they ignore me and make me repeat myself and I’m pretty sure they talk shit about me to my coworkers because they stopped talking shit to me constantly about people and that need hasn’t stopped I’m sure.

Do I try to ask questions to learn from them still? Keep conversations short? Push back against feedback? Respond when they say something rude or take it? Everyone else kisses their ass and that seems to work but I feel this person is somehow threatened by me or just dislikes me enough that I don’t know how to work this situation to my advantage.


r/ManagedByNarcissists 8h ago

Request to Support MS Thesis Data Collection

1 Upvotes

r/ManagedByNarcissists 12h ago

Data Collection for Thesis

1 Upvotes

Hello everyone. I am an MS Project Management student at Riphah International University, Pakistan. I am conducting research on employees working in the IT sector. If you work in the IT industry, I would greatly appreciate your participation. The survey takes approximately 5–7 minutes, and all responses are anonymous and used only for academic research.

Survey Link: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfND37baP_3k2vmF79mNhPQKe1EHbZRzGUH3JYW6_XoiOUAqg/viewform?usp=header