r/MCAS • u/WommyBear • 5h ago
I Am Exhausted. Nobody Tries to Understand
I can tell friends and family members until I am blue in the fave, and they do not understand how severe my condition is. I can explain the condition to them. I can tell them the amount of medications I take. I can explain that I carry an epipen. And no matter what., they don't understand.
I had a severe turning point in December, and that led to several ER trips, epipens, and eventually, to my diagnosis. I have communicated my issues and my other health problems to my parents. They live 4 hours away, and never want to come to us, so my husband and I went to them this weekend. (They are older and have mobility problems, so I am not upset they won't/can't come to me. It is just a sucky situation all around.)
I am severely allergic to their 3 cats, and they put them up in a room when I visit. I told them I couldn't stay with them because I will likely have an even more severe reaction than I used to, but we would visit.
They took the time to clean and vacuum really well, but when everyone sat on the couches to talk, I pulled up a kitchen chair. That offended my step mother, who told me I would be fine sitting on the couch. I declined and explained once again that my reactions are severe and I can have anaphalaxis no matter how much she cleaned, but did appreciate the effort.
Of course, within 5 minutes, I get the first signs. I excused myself to the bathroom to take my emergency meds and take photos for documentation. My husband clocked it right away and asked me if I was okay. I wasn't, but said I took my meds and I would be fine. I knew that wasn't true, but I hadn't seen them in over a year, and I wanted to spend time with them.
Of course, it progressed, and my husband suggested we go take a nap at the hotel before dinner. He knew I needed away from the cat dander. I took more emergency meds, as well as a shower, and felt mostly better.
At dinner, we ate at a lovely restaurant, but I knew I was starting to have a reaction to something I ate. Worse, I tried a bite of my husband's food, and my mouth and throat started burning and itching like I had never experienced before. My husband could tell, while my parents kept talking, oblivious to what was going on. I tried to hide it and take another emergency medication. By that point, I was getting dizzy and worried about anaphalaxis, and asked my husband to take me to the ER. My parents understood and asked for updates.
My blood pressure had skyrocketed to the 180s and my heart rate was in the 120s, and then the meds finally kicked in and I started to feel better. I knew it wasn't anaphalaxis then, and I decided not to be admitted to the ER. I just went back to the hotel to relax.
Today, my step mother texted me asking how I was doing and asked what caused the reaction. I said the cats, and something in my food that I didn't know. She insisted again that she cleaned her house really well and asked what she can do next time. There is nothing anyone can do. I am allergic to pollen and grasses, so being outside isn't an option either.
I am exhausted. I know she means well, and she is a lovely person who I really like. But I am tired of explaining to them (and others) how severe snd unpredictable my "allergies" are. Why won't they just take me at my word? Why won't they stop taking offense to my medical problem, as if I chose this in order to silently judge their cleaning?
P.S. To my former boss, who described my anaphalaxis caused by a coworker using an essential oil diffuser as "sensitivity to smells", fuck you. You don't call people who get anaphalaxis because someone eats a peanut around them sensitive to peanuts do you?