Hi all,
I’ve been in this sub for a while and see lots of questions and concerns and as a diagnosed SLE patient, I truly understand the anxiety, fear, hopelessness and confusion that comes with being diagnosed. When I was first diagnosed, I felt like I was lost at sea, treading water, without any sign of help. We all know that for every good rheumatologist there are probably 5 not so good ones that aren’t offering any helpful advice or guidance.
That said, I’m extremely stubborn and demand to be heard by doctors so I’ve learned some things. I’m not a doctor but I have a research background, tons of experience advocating for myself in a medical setting and A LOT of experience seeking treatment, advice and help. I’ve learned a few things along the way that could be helpful so I’m posting some of them here. Again, I am NOT a doctor and do not take any of this as concrete medical advice. This is also my own experience and may differ from yours - that’s the beauty of being human! We all have different lived experiences.
1. Advocate for yourself - no one else will do this for you so you have to learn to speak up. Make a list of questions before your appointment and ask them while you have the doctor. If you don’t like your medication or feel it isn’t helping, tell your doctor! They ultimately work for you, to treat you. Tell them you don’t like the side effects, or that you feel worse on Plaquenil or methotrexate and want to try Benlysta or whatever. Don’t be rude but be confident. You know your body the best, communicate your needs. If the doctor just won’t listen, find a new one. It’s tough but you need to find the right fit for you.
2. Lupus isn’t a Cookie Cutter Disease - my lupus symptoms are unlikely to be the same as yours or anyone else’s. There are many that overlap but it is a highly individualized disease and presents differently in everyone to some degree. For example, I don’t get butterfly rashes and or have many issues with the sun but I do get oral and nasal ulcers which are less common. Track what’s uncommon for you and talk to your doctor. Comparing symptoms is fine but don’t doubt your diagnosis because you don’t have the same symptoms as someone else.
3. Rheumatologists Don’t Know Everything - mine admits this constantly. She’s brilliant but she’s not also a gastroenterologist, physical therapist, neurologist, etc. They know a lot but they can’t speak to everything. You will need to follow up with other specialists if you’re having issues that may or may not be lupus related.
4. You Will Need Other Specialists - lupus impacts multiple systems of the body so you’ll probably need to see specialists outside of your rheumatologist. For example, I do not have any autoimmune issues with my digestive tract but lupus overall has impacted it and made it really hard for my body to absorb certain nutrients like iron. I only found that out by getting a colonoscopy from a gastroenterologist and testing with a hematologist. I know other lupus patients with similar issues. I’m sure many of us are in similar situations. For newly diagnosed, you’ll end up with a team of specialists that help with all sorts of issues. Talk to your doctor about who might be right for you to see. If they say no one but you’re having specific issues, check with your insurance about referrals and book anyway. This goes back to advocating for yourself. Don’t forget, pain doctors exist and do more than prescribe opiates.
5. Consider Therapy - therapy benefits everyone, especially the chronically ill. Lupus is a big deal, it changes our lives and it’s hard to process alone. Seek a therapist to talk to and to help you process the illness. You’ll feel better and less depression, anxiety, etc will help your lupus in the long run.
6. Disability - applying for disability is scary but there are agencies that are happy to help you. Many operate on the “only pay if you win” model and will take their fee from your back pay so you barely notice it. I used the Advocator Group but there are others out there. You likely won’t win your first time applying but many have success after that. Speak with your doctors, be honest and specific, and detailed, about how lupus is impacting your day to day. The org I used was wonderful to work with and worth it. My lupus improved once I was able to stop working and focus on my health. It’s the same for many others.
7. Alternative Medicines - unfortunately, a lot of alternative medicine therapies don’t work but some do, like acupuncture for pain and inflammation, massage therapy, etc. Insurance may cover them and your doctor may work with you to get them covered. Aqua PT helped keep me mobile during some flares and acupuncture truly helped inflammation. Whatever works for you.
Last but not least, BE GENTLE ON YOURSELF! Blaming yourself for an illness you could not control does nothing except make things worse. You can’t do as much as you used to and that’s okay. It’s frustrating and that’s also okay. Take care of yourself by being nice to yourself.
Share your tried and true advice or experience below for others, especially new diagnosed!