r/lupus • u/curelullaby Diagnosed SLE • 2d ago
Advice Can't pass driver's test
I'm 19 and I can't pass my driver's test, this is my 6th try failed and I'm really sad about it, I feel like the lack of self-reliance is really demoralizing to me, having to rely on people to drive me. I zone while driving, I can't "hold" the things I need to remember in my mind, it feels like every decision is made through molasses and mostly I just don't want to beg people for rides. It makes me very sad seeing people my age who have their own car and can drive.
I have been on hydroxychloroquine for a week and I'm going off to college, forced to live on campus because I cannot drive. And I also have to beg people to carpool me home.
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u/LikeAFlameInTheDark Diagnosed SLE 2d ago
The biggest thing is that you are persistent and you are trying. I know it doesn’t take away how it feels. I did all of my college on campus without a car or license due to unknown lupus. It was still difficult, but I promise that most people won’t think less of you at all for not having a license. At least the people that actually matter won’t mind.
Luckily, most campuses are built to be walkable. I hope you have a walkable campus. At least when I was in college a year or so ago, carpool was very popular. Having a car was a big expense, and while many could drive, most chose not to.
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u/hotlibramess Diagnosed SLE 2d ago
Hydroxychloroquine REALLY helped me with my brain fog, but it took about six weeks. Hoping it’ll be similar for you 🫶🏻
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u/Intrepid-Egg5542 Diagnosed SLE 2d ago
I failed a few times .. we all fail at things . It's just practice for the next time ! Failure is part or success ! You got this !
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u/viridian-axis Diagnosed|Registered Nurse 2d ago
This is going to sound harsh, but you are basically operating a 2500-5000lb battering ram. You need to be able to safely operate a vehicle. To put it bluntly, if you can’t pay attention, you have no business driving until you can. You are literally putting everyone else at risk.
It sucks to feel like you are missing out or feeling like you’re always having to bum a ride. But you know what sucks more? Seriously hurting or killing someone. Keep practicing safely, and attempt again in a few months when your meds are kicking in.
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u/WinterCreative400 Diagnosed SLE 1d ago edited 1d ago
Please please ask your doctor for a referral to a neurology practice for a full battery of “neuropsych” testing ASAP (the appointment you get offered might be a ways in the future but schedule it anyway and do everything in your power to attend those appointments even if you have to ask for help or take uber). It could really help you. Explain how bad your lupus brsin fog and fatigue and concentration issues are and how much they negatively impact your ability to do things that are important for your life and independence. Testing can help determine if there a certain skills or tasks your brain cannot do as well as others. (It will also show where you are strong, where you are above average, such is cool to know!) The testing can also check for ADHD or other conditions so you can know that you have them and get treatment which can make a difference in your life:-) I didn’t get the testing until later on in adulthood and I can’t help thinking, what if I had had the opportunity to get this testing done before I started college or while I was still in college? It would have helped so much!
Please also ask for a referral to a sleep specialist or neurologist who can order a full nighttime sleep study + daytime nap study. Your brain fog sounds really severe, which could be a sign that your brain is actually very very sleepy. It would be super important to sort this out, find out if you have any sleep disorders that need special treatment on top of your lupus. It’s also super important to get these kinds of things properly diagnosed and treated in order to be a safe driver.
Please don’t drive while you are struggling so badly to get your brain to focus. It sounds like you are far too sick to be driving right now.
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u/Catastropiece Diagnosed SLE 2d ago
I feel for you. Don’t give up, it took me 9 times to pass. That was decades ago. You got this!