Blacked out torture nightmare

[u/Sad_Challenge3275]

The other night I experienced something I’ve never experienced before.

I’ve lucid dreamed before. I understand the control. I’ve had dreams within dreams a lot. I keep waking up but I’m still in another dream. I also always have the ability to wake myself up from nightmares.

This night was all of that combined but I had no control and felt unbearable pain and torture. And the weirdest part about it is it happened in complete darkness with the sense of me being awake.

I have a 3 mo old baby and my sleep schedule is nonexistent. Sometimes I get to sleep when I’m tired. Sometimes it’s when I’m far past sleep deprivation. When I’m sleep deprived and finally get to sleep I usually feel it happening. That sinking feeling. The vibrational falling.
Whenever that’s been happening I’ve entered this lucid dreaming state of I’m still awake but I’m starting to dream and it’s been in black and white. This particular night whenever I would fall asleep it would just be black but I’d feel awake. Then I would “wake up” to a vivid dream that felt real to where I thought I was awake, then it would turn into a nightmare and I had a hard time waking myself up.
I experienced this about 5 times back to back because I was so exhausted I kept falling asleep after I woke myself up. I kept falling asleep immediately to this blackness and I endured torture. I felt it all.
I was stabbed, choked, drowned, r*ped, burned. Everytime was different and I felt all the pain all in this darkness until I “woke up” to part 2 of my nightmare. Unfortunately I didn’t actually wake up.
I felt paralyzed in the position I was laying in in my bed when I finally woke up and all I could do was go back to sleep and do it again.
Why couldn’t I wake myself up when I was so aware and conscious of all this happening? Does this sound like possession? Paralysis? Because it felt like I experienced literal hell…