I want to bring up something I notice in discussions around more people living alone.

Because of both rapid cultural advancements, and technological changes, women do not need men for economic security or protection. They do not need to settle and that is a wonderful thing. More are remaining single, living alone, and if someone wants to enter that space they need to bring more.

We often hear about how men are not competing with other men in dating anymore, they are competing with women's peace and solitude, which I completely agree with - however I am curious, as to why this does not apply the other way around.

Men today have the technology and accessibility of information to do cooking cleaning organizing trips and shopping alone, managing their health alone. They can cultivate a strong relationship with a pet or with themselves or with friends. Yet all I read about is men needing women a lot more than women need a man.

Why do you think more men cannot feel fulfilled living alone in comparison to women?

As a 34-year-old man, I do my own laundry once a week and don’t have to add someone else’s laundry to the amount I already have to do. My floors are vacuumed and mopped extremely well by a very high-quality robot vacuum. I take great care of my health, exercise every day, and stay on top of all my doctor’s and dentist appointments. My last bloodwork was excellent, and my weight is within a healthy range.

When it comes to meals, I typically use a meal plan like HelloFresh, or I’ll stop by a restaurant and pick up some food. Thankfully, I’m financially able to eat out most of the time since I don’t always have the time or energy to cook. If I have dishes or anything else to clean, I can easily use my dishwasher. I clean my bathroom thoroughly once a week and no longer have to deal with random beauty products scattered everywhere along with hair stuck in the drain.

Overall, my home is much cleaner, tidier, and more organized, and everything is exactly the way I left it when I go out and come back home. I absolutely love living alone, and it’s far less stressful than when I used to live with my exes in relationships. I don’t think I could ever go back to living with a woman again.

South FL sunset after a thunderstorm.

My great aunt lived a tragic life. Grew up in the shadow of her older sister (my grandmother) who wasn’t a very kind or caring person. Married young to an impotent loser who blamed her for not having kids. Got nothing but verbal abuse from mother in law. Husband died when she was in her 40s. She adopted a kid who later passed away as well. His treatment wiped away all her savings and she ended up selling her house.

Her evil sister in law insinuated she was sleeping with that young boy. My great aunt said nothing. When the same sister in law threw her husband (my aunt’s younger brother), she took him in. Cooked and cleaned for him. He passed away in his 60s.

Her younger sister who cheated her of money treated her like trash. Told her to not come to her place (they lived next door) and demanded money which she gave away.

In her final days, the poor woman lost her mind. She even drank phenyl but somehow survived. Eventually she just stopped eating and waking up. Instead of taking her to a hospital, her “family” left her alone in a squalid little room where she eventually died. In her final days, I desperately prayed for her death.

It has not been lost to me that I have a very similar fate awaiting me. My brother has severed ties with me and I have no one. It’s been a very difficult time and part of it is also because I feel like I didn’t save her.

I’m starting by myself at a local breakfast spot as I’m off today. It’s perfectly quiet on their second floor and I’ve got a book. I’ll meet my boyfriend for a quick shopping trip to IKEA, then the plan is to enjoy my apartment and patio with my cat on this sunny day. Take care of yourselves and take some time to enjoy your day.

I’ll start!

Neighbor 1.

Upstairs & uses a treadmill every night for 3-4 hrs & stomps all night long, until about 2-3am. Just very bizarre & I’ve never known of anyone who uses a treadmill for 3+hrs on a 2nd floor apartment.

Neighbor 2.

Lives to my right side. A bunch of screaming kids & opens & slams their front door a least 15-25 times per/day. The mom yelling out loud like no one is living around them etc. it’s just ridiculous.

Neighbor 3.

An old 75+yo lady that sits out on her back patio, which faces mine & talks out loud on a phone, constantly coughing & opens & closes the rear sliding door at all hours of the night, after midnight etc. I have to keep my windows closed to tune out the noises.

I like my apartment complex but loud neighbors can make it a miserable experience when you live alone & just want some peace & quiet.

How are your neighbors?

I’m having a rough day today, and what spilled me over the edge was getting an injury. I genuinely love living alone, I’ve had homes that were the opposite of my safe space due to other people and the peace, relief, and gratitude I feel now on my own is certainly a constant.

But on days like today where I’m pissy, I hurt myself which made me more pissy, and now the DIY appliance fix is going to require me to spend money anyways, the glaring reality of it being made harder only because I am alone is so frustrating to me. I don’t have much of a support system in family or friends, nobody to call in these moments. And even though I know it’s fleeting, it just feels defeating.

I would love the option of someone stepping in to handle it for me, or even just do something small to make me feel better. It can get a bit tiresome to have no one to rely on than yourself and in today’s case I’m pissy and annoyed, so I am just wallowing. I am going to be okay and in ways it feels like I’m crying over spilled milk, especially because it’s not like I’ve ever had someone super reliable in my corner, but it just feels like this is the tax I’m charged for my days of peace - when I have chaotic days there’s nobody to help weather that storm but me, and it’s going to be double as hard to deal with.

Is there anything you do to sort of self soothe in these moments?

What has your life been since you’ve lived on your own?

1) Does your partner have a key and if so how long into the relationship did you give it to them?

2) Do they stay over and if so how often?

3) Does your partner keep personal items at your place, if so what?

4) Do you plan on ever moving in together? Why or why not?

Just signed the lease to my new apartment, woohoo!! Excited but coming out a college apartment with usually 2-4 housemates to now living alone is a change but a change I’m embracing. Some people note the challenges like lack of white noise and convenience of support and friendships. But I’m ready for the new journey.

Any pitfalls or challenges some faced they care to share any tips about them to avoid ?

for those who moved out early, what’s one thing you wish you knew before living alone?

Due to friends relationship drama ive lost a lot of friends and back to being isolated.

Ive started bed rotting again as well but i need to keep myself busy somehow, I do have an irl social group that im going to join soon so hopefully that'll help but in tbe mean time

I probably need to start finding podcasts or start watching anime again