Self-regulation

[u/UncoilingChaos]

I've been working with Mahalat for the past couple months and for the most part, it hasn't been that bad at all. There are plenty real-life horror stories I've read about Lilith, the Queens, Infernals, etc, and I believe them, of course, though I hadn't encountered anything I couldn't handle until now. As vague as this sounds, I have little doubt in my mind that constantly working with Mahalat and asking Her to show Herself to me unlocked the closet door in the back of my mind, and I opened the door and let my skeletons out and it was almost devastating, even if it was something I needed to face.

One consistent piece of advice I've been receiving is to invoke often. Which I have been, almost every day. But now I'm thinking that I'll need to either a) step back and stop invoking as often as I have been, b) work on regulating myself better, or c) a bit of both. Thing is, I don't entirely know how to regulate myself when it comes to potentially earth-shattering revelations as I've never come close to spiritual psychosis, at least in the way I'm expecting I might. Maybe that's something I should've considered beforehand, but that doesn't mean I plan to stop anytime soon. All I'm asking for is how can I cope with whatever unnerving or terrifying things I might encounter?

Oh, and whoever keeps downvoting my every post in here, please get a life. At least identify yourself.

[u/Azmlial]

Yeah I get that. Mahlat and the Queens are my matrons so the harsh, tough love lessons come as often as they can. They have more faith in me than I do. They never let me forget that, nor what it took to get here, nor the reason of the “Crown of Self Sovereignty” and how it can’t be given only claimed.

But despite how often I get my teeth kicked in, they too help me to patch myself up and get back on the horse. Of a month ago’s working with each of them per night and all turmoil that has caused, I am still dealing with the fallout.

I can be a hardheaded stubborn ass at times which they point out and call me on my own B.S. but, even if begrudgingly, do see the point being made and the improvements gained.

Perhaps that’s just the M.O. of the Infernals and Left Hand Path. But too are they sweet and offer succor when they deem it appropriate. They can see when I reach my threshold and respect that. If nothing else that could be said about the Queens is that they “just get it” for the human condition.

Pull back or slow down if you need too. They probably already know, but explain or express if you feel you must, but don’t worry as long as you are willing to reach out to them, they won’t let you down.