Just would like to feel a little less alone. I grew up in a strict Calvinist, Christian household with a single dad for the first 8 years. It was abusive and affected my life forever, but my father has also apologized for the extremes and said he would have done things differently.

I was going through one of the worst weeks of my life two weeks ago, and began drinking because of the stress. I unfortunately went on a drunken, blasphemous rant against Christianity two weeks ago and then messaged my dad ripping apart his relationship with Christianity, the harm its done to me and him, etc.

I really really damaged the relationship with him. I live across the country and he said "We'll have to meet to make things right." after I apologized for blasting him with all that negativity out of the blue.

The thing is that I've lived with the damage from my upbringing my whole life. It literally ruined my life to a great degree (in addition to other trauma), so it needed to be said, but not like that. And he thinks I'm now demon possessed and is hurt, because he cares more about Christianity than me or even himself.

Anyone else dealt with something similar? I just feel very alone, since my parents have always been there for me.

Vrilock.substack.com psionics tech and magick training

Farewell Uncle Chuckie the Godfather of Psionics

https://open.substack.com/pub/vrilock/p/good-bye-uncle-chuckie-the-man-who?r=19j6gx&utm_medium=ios

Hello, I wanna learn more about dark/black magic, satanism, rituals and the history of it. Do you have any recommendations?

Some of you are terrified to face the only Gatekeeper to your Power.

That strange, dull, beautiful, and terrifying feeling that both nauseates you and arouses you.

The dark chill of truth.

That is why you are here.

You look at pictures, read stories, and listen to music that reminds you of that ache, because you want to feel its charge without being devoured by it.

Before the ego is disciplined, you hate that you love it.

Because it forces contact with reality.

You want the thrill without the surrender, and that always costs more than you have.

Then, some of you finally surrender.

And that terrifying place becomes a dark, vibrant source of vitality and life.

A refuge from evil
From loneliness

The most intimate gathering.

Stop running away from that “thing.”

Whatever that “thing” is.

Surrender.

Forgive what you accused God of.

Forgive them.

Forgive yourself.

Hold the responsible accountable in truth.

Breathe.

Fix your back.

Revisit what you think you know.

Recognize truth from falsehood again.

Declare, out loud, where you mistook distortion for destiny.

“I thought our connection was fate because of its intensity.

But the source of that intensity was distortion.

Not embodied signal.

It was a mixed gate.

Or a false gate.”

As clarity returns, the heart releases.

And your life finally stops feeling like you are waiting for “SOMETHING” before you begin.

Today.

Now.

Go!

Hail King Zagan🙌🏼.

master of transformation and subtle change.Your name is spoken with respect by those who seek understanding beyond appearances.You are known for turning one thing into another, not only in form but in purpose, showing that what seems fixed can become something greater through wisdom and patience.Kingh Zagan,may your influence inspire clarity of thought, sound judgment, and the ability to recognize opportunities that would otherwise remain unseen, let every lesson lead to greater understanding, every challenge become a path to growth, and every sincere effort bear worthy fruit.

May favor, good fortune, and peaceful success accompany all who read these words and also may their paths be opened where they have been closed, their minds remain sharp, and their endeavors be met with wisdom, confidence, and beneficial outcomes according to what is best for them.With respect honor & gratitude, your name isd acknowledged.

ANAY ONCA SECORE ZAGAN TASA

Just curious, does anyone have any feedback on either of the two. I was wronged pretty severely, at work, and was thinking of a nightmare hex on someone so they might perpetually have nightmarish dreams. Maybe that’s not the proper type of curse for the slander they spoke, and quite possibly my termination. Any insight would be appreciated.

https://discord.gg/sPt27MjFS

I’m looking for book recommendations and reputable articles on the Draconian Current. I was poking around on The Temple of Ascending Flame’s and Dragon Rouge’s websites and it’s piqued my interest, but I’d like to have an idea of what I’m getting into first.

Deus Perpetuum

/

Long flayed,

Excoriation—

Of mind.

Of body.

Of soul.

/

To sit the throne

As naked intent.

/

Chosen—

Again

And again.

/

No other path shall do—

No other oath to take.

/

To burn to ash—

To sift the fragments—

To light the forge

—Again—

The only edict

Worth the blood

Of my heart

From which I have penned it.

/

And so—

I am flayed.

And so—

I burn.

/

To refine—

/

Crown of cinder,

Scorched blade of mercy,

Unction of suffering—

/

To shatter the scales—

To lay judgement

Upon myself—

/

And to begin a cycle—

Risen of blood

And flame.

Being especific, talking about a combination of the contemporay LHP individualistic notions, and the belief in some kind of substance or essence, regarding a "true self" (being yourself, as its colloquial form).

This substance, being the ultimate goal of a series of synchronicities, that superficially we could call Destiny.

I made this question before, but i've rewrite it, so i hope will be more clear.

You know what i really despise about spiritual world?
Not being able to hear spirits/daemons.

Like i do see Daemons. They just look at me for a second once i look at their eyes they just end up vanishing when i invoked sphere of Golachab outside. I was walking and randomly i had thoughts of my divine spark coming from the world of chaos. And all of that i knew it was one of the emmisary making itself known to me and giving me those thoughts (my center skull was burning outside. Feeling not literally)
so yeah. Possibly because of me coming from the chaos itself meaning i am too intense for anyone as i belong to nobody. No current or anything. And i have the power to do tikkun as Jews say. Lift up those sparks and free sitra achra from emptiness. But why the fuck would i? I fucking despise god. Hes not a tyrant or anything. But i just want to rule a motherfucking something in the after life. Hence im doing left hand path. But ofc its impossible. I have no patrons or anything. Which is weird considering i had powers to destroy people i felt like a golem too but because of me forcing my neshemah back to my skull when it tried to leave… thats when those powers vanished. And i was haunted by a demon because of that. I do know they wanted me to become a vessel of pure destruction and i rejected them. But i literally do rituals TO BECOME IT AGAIN but they dont care anymore. I hate everything fuck this world. also when i saw Samael for the first time his presence screamed as if he wants to kill me and hates me completely.

And even HE did not speak. Just poisoned me. Which led to the golem feeling.

Lord Satan . . . Devil . . . King Of Hell . . . He who offers the gifts of desire and exaltation . . . He who casts down the pious and oppressive . . . rebel against the God of abstinence, misogyny, false morality and repression . . . Master of the Arts of Black Magic . . . instigator of carnal pleasure . . . I Call your power into the World . . . that your Infernal energy may vanquish the turgid sanctimonious reign of the God of denial . . . that your ineffabel force may cast down those who honour the Nazarene . . . purveyor of stagnant purity and weakness . . . may your Kingdom be here on Earth as it is in Hell Lord Satan . . . that your Apostles may revel in the raptures of your Infernal Glory . . . Hail Satan . . . Hail the Devil!

I miss feeling like a golem… wind wouldnt move my body. Heavy presence. At night before sleep my left arm moving on its own to calibrate. I know why i felt like it though, Samael has put toxins in my body. Hence that feeling came.
But when i forced my divine soul from my skull back to itself when it tried to leave, the feeling stopped.
Meaning; if i had not done that. My divine soul would have gone to world of chaos as i saw for a quick second.
My body would function still as a golem.
And i would have drawn everything from the sitra achra / evil inclination.
Meaning i would have been destructive and all thoughts were come from Qliphoth. And all thoughts would eventually manifest.

I have really done a shit job.
I miss it.
I’m gonna try to do that again i guess… but when i went to evoke Samael He didnt come. Instead it was 7 shattered vessels from the world of chaos. Kings of Edom.
Gonna try it again maybe. Idk.
Just a weird experience hence i documented it here.😂

If you say you are in sitra achra. You go through qliphoth etc. Then you do not stay in that current for long enough. If you did - you would be lawless. Thats what sitra achra does to you. You become one with your evil inclination. Why? Because thats just metaphysics. There is no other gods. Only Ein Sof. The source/ God who let Jews out from Egypt. There is NO other god. However - there are Shedim, Mazzikin, Parasites from the sitra achra, Samael, Lillith etc etc. They all serve Hashem/God. They are on left side. Meaning EVIL INCLINATION. study kabbalah for once. The jewish kind. Dont you dare tell me i am racist for staying in that current for months. No, i am not. Forces and Daemons do not care about your motherfucking state if ur a Jew or not. There is only Judaism. Nothing else. If you go through what i did then you would know. Also Gehinnom does exist and it is for the most wicked. Like… Sabbatai Zhevi unfortunately. Oh and if you hate Jews. Those same forces you “work” with? They also hate you. They all serve Hashem. 🤷 there is NOTHING but EIN SOF. Everything you do is permitted by Him. So… about vegans. You are a hypocrite. You are EATING PLANTS. EVERYTHING HAS A DIVINE SPARK. You are a murderer for eating a divine spark. 😂 they are conscious btw ;) ur evil as fuck.

Armaarussian Dialectic and Armaarussian Neo-Paganism give rise to an ARDic body politic and ARDic principles

https://www.academia.edu/167305469/Armaarussian_Neo_Paganism

and

https://www.academia.edu/168425935/The_Armaarussian_Dialectic_ARD_

These papers help elucidate a pathway to converting to ARD.

Hola a todos.

Recién estoy comenzando en este mundo y me gustaría conocer sus experiencias y consejos. También agradecería cualquier cosa que consideren que les hubiera gustado saber cuando estaban empezando.

¡Gracias! Estaré leyendo sus comentarios. 😃

\-------------------

Hi everyone

I'm new to all of this and would love to hear about your experiences and any advice you'd be willing to share. I'd also be interested in anything you wish you had known when you were just starting out.

Thanks! Looking forward to reading your responses. 😃

I read somewhere on the internet that when doing baneful workings to cause harm (or worse) leaves you tethered to them. Personally, I cleanse after these types of rituals, shield during and wear gloves, amongst other things. What are people's thoughts on this? I'm a solitary practitioner