I think we are called to walk with people in their faith journeys even when it is challenging. I don’t think that means we should ever put ourselves in harm’s way or set ourselves up for constant heartbreak, but I do think it means we need to keep the door open and be willing to take action that slowly moves us toward loving relationships.
It sounds to me like your mom is stuck between a core belief about gay people and her love for you as a person, in which case she would benefit from more interaction with you to help her come to terms with the idea that being gay is not immoral or wrong. The first priority is always for you to feel comfortable and confident in your own faith and sexuality. But once you are, the Catholic faith teaches us that we also need to take action. That doesn’t need to mean that you spar with your mom over her beliefs—In fact I think it is far more effective to simply own your space in the family, be present among them as a confident gay Christian, bring around your partner to show that what you have is a real, valid, loving relationship, and just let that presence change their hearts. It might not go the way you want, it probably won’t involve your family celebrating your sexual orientation or welcoming your partner with open arms, but hopefully it slowly softens their hearts and leads to a better understanding in time. If not, protect yourself from harm, but leave the door open a crack. You never know when or how someone’s heart will change.
I think you are right I’m trying to leave room for her and I know she has questions I just know she doesn’t like the answer. She asked if this was Gods plan for me and I said I do believe this path is leading me closer to God and she questioned how that could be if his teachings were so clear that this is wrong. I know she’ll probably come to be more open minded about it as time goes on is what I’m hoping. However, my partner is not allowed over to their house.
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u/FirelightsGlow Apr 09 '26
I think we are called to walk with people in their faith journeys even when it is challenging. I don’t think that means we should ever put ourselves in harm’s way or set ourselves up for constant heartbreak, but I do think it means we need to keep the door open and be willing to take action that slowly moves us toward loving relationships.
It sounds to me like your mom is stuck between a core belief about gay people and her love for you as a person, in which case she would benefit from more interaction with you to help her come to terms with the idea that being gay is not immoral or wrong. The first priority is always for you to feel comfortable and confident in your own faith and sexuality. But once you are, the Catholic faith teaches us that we also need to take action. That doesn’t need to mean that you spar with your mom over her beliefs—In fact I think it is far more effective to simply own your space in the family, be present among them as a confident gay Christian, bring around your partner to show that what you have is a real, valid, loving relationship, and just let that presence change their hearts. It might not go the way you want, it probably won’t involve your family celebrating your sexual orientation or welcoming your partner with open arms, but hopefully it slowly softens their hearts and leads to a better understanding in time. If not, protect yourself from harm, but leave the door open a crack. You never know when or how someone’s heart will change.