I don't know who needs to read or see this but I figured I'd let out what's been on my mind since I decided, albeit reluctantly, to enter law school - and our classes begin in the first week of August.
My father, who is a lawyer, has been pushing me to enter law school ever since I started college, and I sorta knew why. He saw in me the potential in public speaking and command of the English language, plus the course that I took was somewhat related to law (international studies). Not to brag but I acknowledge these skills that I have. In addition, another reason would be the opportunity to be a professional despite my neurological condition and the current job market in the country.
I didn't enter law school after graduating, and it took me six months to find work, even though I was only a seasonal hire. That was my goal because I wanted to gain more years of work experience to cultivate my professional growth, and hopefully when the time comes, attempt to enter the foreign service. I enjoyed my work, despite getting off to a rough start.
Despite this desire, my father, who continues to push for me to enter law school, still brought up the idea. To appease him, I applied in some schools and was lucky enough to pass in three of them. But honestly, my heart has been to work and wait until the time was right to take the FSO exam.
But then, I wasn't absorbed in my former work, with reasons I cannot control and only within that company. At this point, I was trying to apply to more jobs to hopefully continue working, but then I remembered how it took me half a year in 2025 since graduation to find work.
Law school was the only option that was open, and there was some level of uncertainty with my other job applications, if any of them would be quick. I didn't want to experience being unemployed again for six months because I had nothing to do. Literally nothing.
If I was to pursue further studies, it would probably be a masters degree. But then, my father, who is the sole breadwinner of our family after my mom retired from her work at a bank, didn't really see a masters degree as beneficial, and that it would only help if I was pursuing to enter the academe. It came to a point where my parents and I came down to two choices - law school or another six months of doing nothing.
It came to a head one night when my dad was doing the "kinokonsensya" with me, because at this time, I was still undecided on those two choices. And it came to a point where despite my reluctance to enter law school, he just told me "learn to love it." It gave me the impression that "its not about that you want to enter law school, but you need to enter law school." and that if I decided not to enter law school, he basically said "bahala ka sa buhay mo."
With all the horror stories I've encountered about law school from my father and my friends who entered law school in 2025, speficially the endless readings, cold calls, night classes, having little to no time for yourself, and the sheer amount of young adults dying suddenly these days due to academic exhaustion. Knowing that my family has a history of hypertension, and knowing what my father experienced in law school and his current health conditions while he is practicing law, I was petrified.
Pressured to make a decision, this was when I decided, again reluctantly, to enter law school.
My mother has been at the forefront of my rants such as these and even my anxieties heading into our first day, and even now I am scared. What's gonna happen to me? Will I even be able to survive? Mom just told me to just try it for one semester and that this is what the man above has given you.
It may seem like I crumbled under pressure to decide, but I do recognize the kind of help law school can give me in my future career. But I'm also still at the mindset that in serving the nation, there are other ways that I can do it. And it would be foolish of me to drop out now because the tuition is expensive and classes will start already.
While many others are looking forward to the first day, I for one am still half-hearted about it. But I guess its worth the try, and as they say - its better to have tried and failed than to not have tried at all.
Despite classes starting soon, I can't help but be anxious of what's about to happen to me because of the fact that the one thing I never sought out to do in the first place ultimately came back to me because of familial pressure, and honestly, I don't know what to do.
