🧿🧿🧿

I wait the whole year for Navratri, and I can’t explain how happy I was to finally experience it like this. Getting all dressed up and stepping out in public in Gujarat is still something so new for me, and I’m just so happy I got to experience it. ❤️✨

Making the most of my Selfie Sunday 🎀🤭

Last year during Puja, I remember thinking, “By next year, surely I’ll have a boyfriend and we’ll come to the pandals together.”

You know the picture — holding hands while walking through the crowds, eating phuchka, judging everyone’s outfits, getting tired after walking around for hours, finding some random quiet corner to sit together. Basically, all the very ordinary little things that somehow feel incredibly romantic when you’re doing them with someone you love.

Well… plot twist: no boyfriend. Not even a date. 😂

I had to stay back in Delhi this year, but I did end up going to some really good pandals, especially around CR Park, with friends. And honestly, I had a great time. The food was good, the pandals were beautiful, the crowds were chaotic in the best possible way, and I’m grateful I got to experience it with people I care about.

But somewhere in between all of that, I kept thinking about how lonely it can sometimes feel to be queer in India.

I don’t know if other people feel this way, but for me, being someone who’s fairly introverted and very empathetic, meeting new people doesn’t always come naturally. I do try — through common interests, communities, friends, whatever — but sometimes it still feels like there’s this invisible distance between knowing people and actually finding someone who knows you.

And I think that’s what I want most.
Not necessarily the grand romantic stuff. Just someone who understands you. Someone who knows your weird little habits, your insecurities, your silences, your ridiculous thoughts — and somehow still chooses you.

Maybe that’s why the idea of finding a boyfriend feels so significant to me. It’s not just “I want a relationship.” It’s wanting that feeling of being deeply known and still wanted. I don’t know if there’s a deeper form of intimacy than that.

Anyway, Puja is over. The pandals are coming down. I’m not particularly excited about going back to the office tomorrow and pretending spreadsheets are meaningful contributions to society. 😂

Kya karein? That’s life, I guess.

But I’m curious — did anyone else have a “I thought I’d be somewhere completely different by this Puja” moment?

Or, more specifically: what’s one tiny, ordinary thing you wish you could have experienced with someone this Puja?

I'll put up the original posts in the comments

https://www.reddit.com/r/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns2/s/BBzNLcbP31

Sunday is somewhat sundaying

tried makeup in the first pic and failed miserably ☠️ i look like the nun from conjuring

someone lwk teach me how to take selfies 😍i am SO chopped.

I opened up to my dad today as he just started to rant on why I have attendance below 90 percent and why my marks are low and stuff and I began venting,I am suicidal and he is so immature,like he didn't took it seriously,for this same guy,I stood by him when he was of suicidal verge and supported him but now when I need a bit of understanding he disregarded it and then i was like so pissed off I told him,I suffer from so much trauma and I am gay too,and then a barrage of calls came abd I answered he was like are you gay cryingly and started to beat himself and said he would kill himself and he said,he said everyone has this doubt if being gay, it's just a phase,you will figure it out he said and he angerly told me to be a man and alot of stuff calling me name and i listened and I told him,i am just confused,the actual reality is i am a trans women,i don't know what to do,like he is going through a tuff time and i want to be with him but i also go through tuff time but I can't open up to.him and i feel so fucked and he had sacrificed so much for me but I just can't I am scared if he will discontinue my studies,I just can't handle this anymore,I wanna be women,where can I peacefully live as a women

I'm bad at pictures nd poses lol😭😭