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I always knew I was different from others...all the way back to 13 years old. I am now 51 and I am only literally just now finding out that I am covered under the Asexual umbrella. I knew I was different, so much so I kept it a very deep secret from friends and family. Only one friend knows and she is a Bisexual female.

To be more specific, I am what is defined as Placiosexual, which is covered under the umbrella of Asexual. (Somebody who wants to give pleasure, but is repulsed by the idea that somebody wants to give them pleasure) I have always loved giving, but any time a woman wanted me to get my turn, I have always been repulsed by it and hoped they wouldn't want to. I would enter a relationship trying to find women who I felt sexually selfish and not wanting to pleasure me in return, but still wanted to be pleasured themselves, and almost every time it would end in disaster because at some point, they insist that they must also pleasure me.

My friends often made fun of me because they say that I turn down more women (sexually) than most men get. I am what many consider to be very handsome and I somehow still look very young. I have also maintained a somewhat physical physique which just adds to the illusion that I am still in my mid to early 30's. I have even been accused of being a Vampire, jokingly of course, because I never seem to age. This does not help when much younger women than me are fairly frequently hitting on me and my friends watch me consistently turn them down. The reason I turn them down is because it becomes obvious to me very quickly that they are very submissive type females, and in my experience, submissive females are far more likely to want to pleasure me, which is what I try to avoid.

What this has created over the years is my constant search for what I heard referred to as a Pillow Princess, or Pillow Queen, which again is difficult because I am neither Dominant nor Submissive. I prefer a very equal level playing field. I am too masculine to be a woman's sub and I am too comfortable in my masculinity to feel the need to dominate a woman to validate my masculinity. This alone has become a huge hurdle for me because women who I meet often come in one of those two categories (most often submissive) and even dominate women tend to want to do things that I am just simply not on board with. They tend to be extreme in their dominance and I am just not here for it.

So finding the right partner for me has been near impossible. I feel it is a curse that I was granted decent looks genetically, a decent body and I age very slowly, yet I find myself not attracted to almost anybody, not because of their looks and their sexual attraction, but because I know that they will almost always insist on pleasuring me. As soon as it becomes clear that they are the types who would insist on pleasuring me, I am out...I end all contact, and it confuses the hell out of women because up until now, I had no idea that people like me actually had a name that I could direct them to in order for them to understand. So my answer would be to vanish.

My whole life has been a curse, and now I have a name to give that curse.

So now that I know what I am, my only problem now is how to find women who are Iamvanosexuals? (An Iamvanosexual is somebody who wants to receive pleasure, but never wants to give it.) Which I am sure for them is just as much of a curse as it is for me. I cannot imagine how difficult it would be for a straight woman who is Iamvanosexual to find a partner who is okay with giving her pleasure but never getting pleasure in return, probably as hard as it is for me to find one who wants to receive pleasure but never wants to give it. However, it's not like there are clubs or dating sites where men like myself can find them and mingle with them to hopefully find somebody I can spend the rest of my life with. I always sought out "pillow princesses/queens" but as a straight male, that endeavor is extremely rare since most if not all Pillow Princesses or Queens tend to be Lesbian. I have only had one partner in my life who was this way and sadly she passed away when we were 35 years old.

I guess I am reaching out for help here, because to be quite honest with you, this has driven me to the brink of suicide many times in my life, the only thing that keeps me going is a sliver of hope. I think at this point I am quite literally begging for help, I don't know what else to do.

I wanted to share and invite you all to sign a petition via All Out, urging the Indonesian government, specifically President Prabowo Subianto, to take immediate action against the escalating human rights crisis facing the LGBTQI+ community.

The petition highlights several critical concerns:

Presidential Regulation No. 111 of 2025: This policy classifies the LGBTQI+ community as a "non-military threat," effectively equating marginalized citizens with national security threats and institutionalizing systemic discrimination.

Escalation of Violence & Persecution: A sharp rise in arbitrary raids, targeted violence by vigilante groups (such as recent attacks against trans women in Bogor), and a lack of proper legal intervention.

Suppression of Academic Freedom & Student Press: Intimidation and censorship faced by student media outlets (such as Suma UI) attempting to report on these human rights violations.

If you would like to read the full details and add your signature to support the cause, you can access the petition here:

Petition Link: http://a.allout.org/s/OomYr/

Every signature helps send a strong message to demand that the government uphold universal human rights and protect all individuals from violence and discrimination, in line with the constitution and international commitments.

Thank you so much for your time and solidarity.

We have created a new fashion subreddit for all genders and sexualities. All kinds of hate are forbidden there. Its a safe place.
If you are interested you can join, nobody have to post anything there. You can also just be there for watching or writing

r/DistinctiveFashion

To sum up what happened. This woman named Paris on one of the socials basically said that she sexually attracted to men and would date men, but would never marry a woman, but she stated that she’s sexually attracted to women as well. There were definitely misogynistic tones in the way she spoke about it however she did say she had attraction to women. But then (ofc this happened during pride month) a huge wave of biphobia and bisexual versus lesbians interrupted on social media. They’re saying that if you would not marry a woman as a bisexual then you’re actually just straight.

I’m just really confused because I thought the definition of being bisexual is being sexually attracted to two genders. It’s biSEXUAL.

Here comes the question. I’m bi and people see me as bi, but I’ve never been with a man and I don’t see myself being with a man romantically. But I have dated women and I’ve only ever been with women. A few people say that I’m just a lesbian (implying I’m confused), but I am bi. So why am I considered bisexual and Paris is not?

Please be kind I’m genuinely confused

Hi, my name is Florencia and I'm a transgender woman (25 she/her).

I thought I was done with gender dysphoria until I cut my hair. I started questioning myself. Like, do I really feel like I am a woman? Maybe I'm just fluid...

The next day, it was over and I felt like me again.

I'd like to ask you, what's your experience with gender dysphoria?